Author Topic: Our Prime Minister is very healthy  (Read 3984 times)

Danger Man

  • no lives matter
Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« on: June 28, 2020, 12:29:34 AM »


Quote
Do you want me to do some press-ups to show you how fit I am?’ With those words, the Prime Minister hurls himself to the floor of his Downing Street office with an exuberance which has appeared to be absent in recent months.
It is hard to picture Churchill or Gladstone doing anything similar – and completely impossible to imagine it of Theresa May – but Boris Johnson is keen to put paid to Westminster rumours about the state of his health since he was struck down by Covid-19 earlier this year.
‘Fit as a butcher’s dog… never felt better,’ is how the 56-year-old puts it, after months of debilitating political drama, a brush with death and the arrival of a new child.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8466783/Boris-pledges-billions-Britain-booming-says-bounce-forward-huge-revival-plan.html

Malta? UAE? Malaysia? Where do I run away to? I'm sick of this shit.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 12:36:47 AM »
I was thinking Portugal.

Danger Man

  • no lives matter
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2020, 12:37:59 AM »
OK.....share a flat?

I went to Lisbon three years ago and it was lovely.

I can do that.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2020, 12:39:49 AM »
More's the pity.

Danger Man

  • no lives matter
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2020, 12:40:12 AM »
I might be the next Maddie McCann suspect when they run out of Germans but I can live with that.

chveik

  • LISTEB LADS
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2020, 12:43:14 AM »
oops

Danger Man

  • no lives matter
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2020, 12:51:21 AM »
I might be the next Maddie McCann suspect when they run out of Germans but I can live with that.

as I did kill her

Gregory Torso

  • blood-spattered blossom
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2020, 12:52:51 AM »
I'm running away to Sheffield.

bomb_dog

  • Patience. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2020, 12:53:46 AM »

Gregory Torso

  • blood-spattered blossom
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2020, 12:55:57 AM »
I wish everyone was dead and our king was a snail.

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2020, 12:56:13 AM »
Was about to post the exact same thing

Danger Man

  • no lives matter
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2020, 01:00:54 AM »
North Koreans watch this shit and clap because they have camps.

British people watch this shit for free.

I am DONE

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2020, 01:35:31 AM »
I was thinking Portugal.

Portugal has a lot going for it.  I chatted to loads of people when I was there a couple of years ago and they all seemed positive about the future.

I am desperate to get away before it is too late.  It is most unfortunate that changing social and political climate of UK is also happening with a loss of rights to just bugger off and start again in Europe.

The flag wavers are always saying if you don't love it leave it...if they really believe this why are they trying to keep me here I want to know!

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2020, 01:36:23 AM »
what a silly fucking clown

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2020, 01:38:25 AM »
I'm running away to Sheffield.

Sheffield is a wonderful city, to be fair.

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2020, 01:38:30 AM »
North Koreans watch this shit and clap because they have camps.

We have the camps constructed in our minds by shitty media moguls though.

It really saves on the razor wire costs and is lower in carbon emissions so there is that.

As for Sheffield, you get the lovely Peak district on your doorstep.  Proper good that is.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2020, 01:42:12 AM »
But you definitely needed intensive care for Coronavirus, yeah?


Cuntbeaks

  • Where you fay?
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2020, 04:15:00 AM »
How could we ever expect Armando Iannucci to successfully write any more episodes of The Thick Of It when this shit actually happens, in Real Life.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
A New Crusade - The Clarion Call
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2020, 04:55:56 AM »
Honestly, I don't know why you brave English knights don't just lay siege to the cunt, burn him to the ground, rape all the women and dogs.  It's about time someone did.  Sometimes uncontrolled violence can be merciful.  It would literally be God's Work.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2020, 06:55:41 AM »

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

  • a hopeless vanity... a stupefyingly futile conceit
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2020, 06:59:55 AM »


Can we get this trending on Twitter somehow? Forever?

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2020, 07:41:28 AM »
"And the Prime Minister's semen tastes sweet as ambrosia"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2020, 09:20:47 AM »
Reports coming in that he is still in that pose above, frozen in place overnight, his servants unable to loosen his atrophied joints. He's shat himself and keeps hurling racial abuse at the cleaner. It's all been recorded.

Starmer has tweeted: "Our thoughts and prayers are with Boris at this difficult time. We will do everything to support him"

Stewart Lee: "Legend, National Treasure, Hero"

A BLM spokesperson: "We are calling on all BAME citizens to donate to a Statue for Boris crowdfund"


Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2020, 10:18:19 AM »


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8466783/Boris-pledges-billions-Britain-booming-says-bounce-forward-huge-revival-plan.html

Malta? UAE? Malaysia? Where do I run away to? I'm sick of this shit.

The fact he has the need to demonstrate how fit he is hopefully means that in reality his body is absolutely fucked.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

  • a hopeless vanity... a stupefyingly futile conceit
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2020, 10:24:31 AM »
It looks like a cheap dramatic reconstruction from a Channel Five documentary about his final 24 hours.

finnquark

  • come un sogno che va via, ti svegli triste
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #26 on: June 28, 2020, 10:48:06 AM »
Just a small quibble with the piece. One of Gladstone's hobbies was cutting down trees, an act of physical fitness he would show off to visitors. Surprised that the Mail had such a partial knowledge of 19th Century history to be frank. But otherwise, this was an excellent piece of journalism.

Barry Admin

  • Fuck your shit tea
Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2020, 11:03:25 AM »
The bottom of his tie would be up nearer his face if he'd even managed one full press-up.

A grim experience to read this thread right after this post:

No, the overton window and outright fascisim has been in the media for so long, chest-beaters want a strongman to lock up the people they don't like. It's the same with Trump, UKIP, One Nation, it's not hard to find. Hell, even here in Australia when we last (as of today) spilled the PM, it was between an evangelical failed advertising manager and a ex-cop with a charisma and logic bypass whose main achievement was locking up brown people

Reminded me of those "would you like a big strong fascist daddy in charge" poll questions people keep getting too.

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #28 on: June 28, 2020, 11:35:23 AM »


Cor, what I wouldn't give to be underneath that, would love to be the new Carrie, having lumpen heart-attack trysts on the downing street floor.

Some lucky intern'll be living that dream right now. He'll have them running meaningless errands so they have an excuse to come to his office, bring him 50 paperback novels on a trolley, no-one'll suspect a thing.

Re: Our Prime Minister is very healthy
« Reply #29 on: June 28, 2020, 11:40:06 AM »
I've fallen! And I can't get up!!

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