The UK - nice and that

[Marner and Me]

For a relatively small country I reckon our serial killers are among the best in the world.

British serial killers Eddie best in the world.

[Ferris]

I wasn't calling all of Canada a cultural desert, read his preceding post and cut me the minimum slack ffs.

For what it's worth I would rather be in Quebec City or Montreal right now.

I didn't read your comment like that at all, it was an (invited) agreement that Winnipeg is a toilet.

Québec City is weird, it's like a French city dropped wholesale in North America. Montréal is beautiful, and really really worth visiting if you ever get the chance.

I was trying to avoid mentioning Canada tbh because I didn't want it to be a competition - the UK is quite nice in its own right, and here are some things it does well.

[Sebastian Cobb]

We do a good pie.

[Pink Gregory]

I like the little garden birds.  Those are nice.

[BlodwynPig]

I didn't read your comment like that at all, it was an (invited) agreement that Winnipeg is a toilet.

Québec City is weird, it's like a French city dropped wholesale in North America. Montréal is beautiful, and really really worth visiting if you ever get the chance.

I was trying to avoid mentioning Canada tbh because I didn't want it to be a competition - the UK is quite nice in its own right, and here are some things it does well.

TBH, and trying not to be rude, but these sort of discussions are absolutely the toilet of pub conversation.

[Sin Agog]

I do like how, unlike in Canada, you can tell a joke and won't always hear this automated message: "Oh, wow. You were joking?  I couldn't tell.  You're so dry."


There is also an acknowledgment and awareness of the disabled that the fit and happy yourapeeins don't have.  Especially Germans.  If you fall over they'll glance at your lumpen British wasteman body dispassionately in a way most of us down in the muck together wouldn't.

[shagatha crustie]

I think it's easy to forget in the UK that in most places there's nice stuff nearer than you think. Recently I took a long walk through a few neighbouring leafy suburbs near me, moving away from the city centre, and was amazed by how peaceful, welcoming and authentically 'old' they felt.

Our long history and being made to feel like the dog's bollocks in economics, politics and language means we take the 'fair green isle' conception of ourselves for granted, like some old truism you're taught in school and then forget about. But it actually is a very fair green isle indeed if you take a moment to look. Sure there's a lack of the kind of 'wildness' you'd find more of on the continent, but if I can get to a nice place by foot or train and have a good day's wander, the surroundings are uplifting all the same - in that moment it doesn't really matter who's drawn a contract up over it.

When you look at the wider national picture and to an extent the national attitude, yes the place appears much like a giant gold-plated toilet with the born-to-rule wiping their arse on democracy and human rights and flushing the rest of the populace down the toilet like so many turds. But it helps to go a bit Ray Davies sometimes, go dig out the 'little England' and forget about the rest.

[canadagoose]

For me, I guess the main thing is the musical output. And comedy, of course. Countryside can be nice. Some cities are good. It's fine.

[BlodwynPig]

For me, I guess the main thing is the musical output. And comedy, of course. Countryside can be nice. Some cities are good. It's fine.

The Norfolk tourist board have been in touch, they would like to use this post.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You can't beat British women!!

Unfortunately not. Meddling Brussels bureaucrats put a stop to it.

[Dewt]

If you are into the National Trust brand of natural beauty, or you like the posher places with rolling fields and lots of oak trees then it's an unusually pretty country. The beauty where I live is just "there are lots of trees and granite and lakes", which is nice, but the UK has a prettiness to it out in the sticks. If you like a certain kind of urban aesthetic it's still quite beautiful in places too. Concrete brutalism mixed with crumbling Roman shit.

[BlodwynPig]

Bullseye, Bullingdon, Brexit, Boris, Braintree, Bolognese, Bishops Finger, Batley, Binge drinking, Bognor, Butlins, Bros, Brucie, BP, Barnsley, Baps, Barons

What have all these things got in common?

[chveik]

only been to Jersey. it was nice.

still I think the UK could do without this cunt

[imitationleather]

only been to Jersey.

Ah, I could tell from how awkward and clumsy you are at speaking English.

[Captain Crunch]

Creamy Old England...

[chveik]

Ah, I could tell from how awkward and clumsy you are at speaking English.

don't blame the good people of Jersey for this

[Emma Raducanu]

I really liked that series of videos of a man crossing Wales in a straight line. A lovely visceral portrait of the Great British countryside. Even the toff he met along the way was jolly lovely.

[Marner and Me]

Bullseye, Bullingdon, Brexit, Boris, Braintree, Bolognese, Bishops Finger, Batley, Binge drinking, Bognor, Butlins, Bros, Brucie, BP, Barnsley, Baps, Barons

What have all these things got in common?

And that is just the B's

[Shit Good Nose]

The problem with Jersey is all the fucking South Africans.


I know people - family, friends, work colleagues, and acquaintances - from all over the world, and without exception every single country has its problems and things that the people who live there hate - grass is always greener kinda thing.

The UK is fine, just like any other developed country and even most "undeveloped" countries. 

To anyone who thinks the UK is terrible, I suggest putting things into perspective by moving to the war torn parts of the Middle East, or the parts of Africa where you have to walk 20 miles and risk being raped and/or killed just to get some barely clean drinking water.

Or France.

[Old Thrashbarg]

I don't want to celebrate imperialism, but I do always find it slightly awe-inspiring just how much cultural and scientific impact this tiny little island still has around the world.

Also, the beauty of much of the countryside and older urban areas is something that often seems to be taken for granted. I struggle to travel through the idyllic landscape Yorkshire Dales and North York Moors without getting a tear in my eye. Driving along the North Wales coast is awe-inspiring. And a thousand other examples I can't think of now.

Part of the stumbling block for me to say anything nice about the "United Kingdom" is that I can't escape the understanding that "the UK" is the political structure wrapped around Britain and Northern Ireland by a few centuries of war and haphazard ethnic cleansing.

The latter - the place and its people - has some nice points, increasingly, it feels, in spite of the former - its system of government.

It's like you're asking me to form a judgement on the "The Third Reich", and suggesting that the beer was quite nice (at least to begin with). Probably true, I suppose, but not quite the point.

I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't sound cunty, but have you ever thought of posting in the style of a normal person instead of an overly-literal robot?

I do love much of what you post, but often (as with the above) it feels like Marvin the Paranoid Android is doing the posting. On a day when he's feeling particularly humourless.

[Zetetic]

Yes.

Although in my defence, I was feeling particularly humourless yesterday. And most of the days before that, now I think of it.

Which might be a sign to step away from the computer, so I take the point.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Foodwise, we are very good at desserts. Even the French will grudgingly admit that.

[Mr Eggs]

I would expect us in the middle range of anal cleanliness of the Western Powers.

We never adopted the bidet because Barnes Wallis knew it would interfere with his water radiator bathroom radar scheme to listen to people having a shit.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I like your signature, and concur with it wholeheartedly.

[Bazooka]

Do Hull better than anyone.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

We have lots of moors, I like moors (not a murderer though so don't worry) and you don't tend to get them so much around other places. I know the rest of europe generally has more areas of wild open forest instead but I like the openness, the wind on your face, the long grasses and heathers, Kate Bush, wuthering heights and all that. Still aren't any in the south east though which is a shame

[solidified gruel merchant]

I fucking hate moors.
Sorry to be all contrary but they're shit and depressing and misty.
Woods are a far more interesting prospect.

[Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop]

I think there%u2019s a squeamishness about promoting the UK lest it all get a bit Tommy Robinson. I understand that I suppose, but there%u2019s a lot of good to say about the place.

"I've been dreaming of a time when,
To be English is not to be baneful,
To be standing by the flag not feeling shameful, racist or partial."

[BlodwynPig]

don't blame the good people of Jersey for this

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

Also the beer isn't very good on the whole.

Fuck off with that. We may not have it down to a sophisticated science like the Belgiums but we know how to brew good beer. I don't always want a 15% open fermented sour glass of murk. Sometimes you just want a nice mild nutty brown ale to sup away on in a cosy pub. And the yanks and canadians can fuck off with all their micro brew hopped to fuck pale ale shite.

On that note, pubs. We certainly have plenty of shite ones, and after this pandemic a lot might not come back. But there is something special about a pub done right, and our good pubs don't really have a proper equivalent either on the continent (yes yes shoulders there's lots of lovely bars and sort of pubs in lativa or wherever the fuck) or stateside. A cosy country pub on a murky misty day is a transcendent thing, a thing of solace and beauty.

The weather, obviously personal preference but I like the temperate and changeable nature of our weather. Admittedly after 3 months of nothing but grey it can become a bit tiresome but give me a wet windy day over 30+ degree heat any fucking day. The sun is oppressive. Also our seasons are distinct, but in general not extreme, a crisp autumn walk in some woods, a bright fresh cycle along a country lane as spring first sprungs.

Yes I realise other countries have nice weather as well.

A cliche but the humour, I'm not someone who thinks people in other countries can't do subtle, dry self deprecating humour. But we are the fucking masters at it, the ease with which British people are able to convey incredibly complicated things with a well placed word or two is quite something. Mate.

Fucking loads more but I've rambled on enough.


Oh wait fuck it, the art, in general. We punch way way above our weight in the arts. I'll try do a whole proper post about it coz I have a half arsed theory (probably wrong) about why it is.