Author Topic: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down  (Read 294 times)

Jerzy Bondov

  • best not bother
    • righto so ive got five minutes off work and uh yeah im gonna have a cheeky volvic
I keep seeing adverts on the internet for these games where you have a man in one room and some treasure in another room, and also some lava. You have to move these little barriers around so the man can reach the treasure without getting doused in molten lava. Has anyone else seen a lot of these? They look sort of fun, in a casual sort of way. The player in the ads always fucks up an easy puzzle, so you'll think 'Ha! I can do better than this chump' and download it. But I've never clicked on one, because it's an advert on the internet. You don't click those, you just try to ignore them for the few seconds they last so you can go back to doing something important like turning the cast of Dad's Army into women and saying which one you'd shag.

It turns out that if you do click on them and download them, these games are 100% nothing like the adverts. No lava. No man. No sliding barriers. They're all just Bejeweled clones! Because you can generate an infinite number of random Candy Crush levels, but the sliding lava door puzzles would require actual design.

It's mad that they aren't even vaguely similar. It's like having a trailer for Call of Duty with all shit exploding and it turns out it's just a Dogz virtual pet. Or you watched a trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2 and it was all gun slinging and train heists, and then you download it and it's just going around picking up flowers very slowly.

Presumably these adverts actually work though. There are people downloading what looks like a fun puzzle game, discovering it's just the same old match 3 game they've already been playing for the last 25 years, and just going 'ah fuck it, close enough' and spending £59.99 on the Diamond Pack BEST VALUE 200 Diamonds. Absolutely insane.

Of course now there actually are some games that play like the adverts, and they all make you watch misleading ads and pay for £299.99 MOST POPULAR BEST VALUE UNLOCK ALL. Hopefully someone can make this game but with a lo-fi synth soundtrack and it's about depression, and you can complete it in 30 minutes, and it can go on Apple Arcade, and then I'll finally play it.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2020, 10:31:51 AM »
Also been intrigued by these, I play a boxing game on my phone and am inundated with adverts for these lava games. They used to be a bit broader and focus on things like being inside a shed with a pool of water on the floor and an electric cable dangling loosely and a number of other hazards that set off a chain reaction, with you choosing the correct order to dispatch all of these threats, but now they must have given up and realised that it's easier to put a shark, some lava, a pot of gold and you (in some water) in a square separated by pully things.


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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2020, 04:59:29 PM »
There’s another one where you have to pick the right tools to fix the broken things in the room. Choose the wrong thing and the situation gets much worse. Not a bad idea for a game.

Download it though and it’s the same old match 3.