Author Topic: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down  (Read 12319 times)

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #60 on: August 20, 2020, 01:27:26 PM »
I've played every genre and sub genre of games, yet I see the title of this thread everyday and feel like a chump, falling lava games? ! Say whaaaa?

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #61 on: August 20, 2020, 02:05:35 PM »
The games as advertised don't exist. The adverts look like puzzles, but they usually are cookie clicker or candy crush clones.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #62 on: August 21, 2020, 10:29:52 AM »
Not sure if this is the exact Ad, I've not seen it too many times, but it's very much in the spirit of it. https://twitter.com/AnnoyingYTAds/status/1290417495803756545
these games where you easily get free money I think are so blatant because they just want people to download them out of morbid curiosity.

But that one where you can apparently just earn "two" to buy something in a shop by pissing about for three seconds is mental

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #63 on: August 21, 2020, 07:29:22 PM »
But that one where you can apparently just earn "two" to buy something in a shop by pissing about for three seconds is mental

you literally can do this in real life but instead of sliding things around in lava filled environment you suck someone's cock while on your knees behind a dumpster, it's less demeaning.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #64 on: August 21, 2020, 07:54:55 PM »
I keep getting an ad for a game called "Plinko Coins" which claims that someone behind it is giving away $2 million per week. Not judging by the quality of the graphics they're not- pffffft, even Rockstar don't have that much to throw about.

I assumed a lot of those free money games were designed to encourage people to give up their bank/PayPal details.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #65 on: August 24, 2020, 12:13:13 PM »
I know nothing about coding for mobile apps but are these all based on the same template or something?

I'm enjoying Angry Birds Dream Blast, where you have to get groups of dropping balls, do explosions, etc, but it's full of adverts for a game which has literally identical gameplay but is re-skinned with Candy Crush graphics instead of those obese, choleric chickens we all love.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #66 on: August 26, 2020, 11:52:43 PM »
you literally can do this in real life but instead of sliding things around in lava filled environment you suck someone's cock while on your knees behind a dumpster, it's less demeaning.
be quite funny to film this in portrait, slightly sped up, if you're up for it

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #67 on: August 27, 2020, 12:41:44 AM »
be quite funny to film this in portrait, slightly sped up, if you're up for it

Need to find a window in my busy schedule of sucking someone's cock while on my knees behind dumpsters.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #68 on: August 27, 2020, 07:33:03 AM »
On the subject of The weird slogans on these app adverts, one I can’t get my head round is something along the lines of; “I never knew anxiety before this game!” Why would crippling self doubt be a selling point?

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #69 on: August 27, 2020, 11:52:07 AM »
downloaded desert golf on the recommendations of this thread. First smartphone game I've spent money on. Hopefully it can supplant Twitter in my life, which would be great for my overall wellbeing

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #70 on: August 28, 2020, 08:39:43 AM »
Still not seen the fake advert for this and yet this thread persists every day somehow.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #71 on: August 28, 2020, 01:04:57 PM »
Still not seen the fake advert for this and yet this thread persists every day somehow.

I was just going to say that I hadn't seen any in a while, and was wondering if they'd finally been banned.

Then I downloaded Two Dots yesterday, and they're back with a vengeance.  I took a whole bunch of screenshots, which I'll upload sometime if I can manage to remember my postimage password.


As for Two Dots itself, I'm in a similar boat to Asparagus Trevor.  Great game, ruined by its surroundings.  Suspect I'll be uninstalling it Real Soon Now.

Specific irritations are:

1. The tutorial does a great job of gently walking you through all the various aspects of the game... until suddenly it stops, just as a whole bunch of new features arrive.  What do those funny dots (swirly one, sun-like one, the other one) actually do?  Ok, you include them in your draw, and lots of weird swirly flashy things happen, which is nice... but what the fuck are they actually doing?  What are the rules?  One level in the early 30s I just drew one square as my first move, and lots of flashing, zapping, popping and banging happened... and I won the level.  Cool!  Erm, but how?  What did I do?  Might as well have pulled the handle on an old one-armed bandit.

2. All these side games you suddenly get thrown at you.  Why?  What are they for?  Oh ok, to earn more of those power-ups, half of which I don't even understand what they do 'cos they haven't been explained yet.

3. Actually am having quite a fun time with the "find the object" side games, oh... but to get past the first two levels I need more gold coins (as opposed to gold stars, which are different).  Sure, ok, I'll earn more by playing the main game... oh but hang on... suddenly I'm not earning them any more, instead they're filling up a gold bank, and then bouncing off the top of it because it's full, but if I want the 50 coins that are in it, I have to pay £2.99 to buy the gold bank that they're now being stored in... oh just fuck off.  *Uninstall*

Nice game, but too much going on at once (and too greedy) for an old ZX Spectrum fart like me.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #72 on: August 28, 2020, 01:06:12 PM »
downloaded desert golf on the recommendations of this thread. First smartphone game I've spent money on. Hopefully it can supplant Twitter in my life, which would be great for my overall wellbeing

Oh it will. Pretty soon you'll be wondering what your life was like before you started thwacking balls into the endless desert. You won't be able to remember, though. The soft fshh of the ball skimming across the dunes will be the only sound you'll know.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #73 on: August 28, 2020, 03:04:56 PM »
What do those funny dots (swirly one, sun-like one, the other one) actually do?

There's a reference guide to them - if you touch the settings button on the main menu and select help, it shows every type of special dot, and you can select the one you want to know about.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #74 on: September 14, 2020, 01:39:41 PM »
Has anyone played those where you work your way up from being a dogsbody/ peasant/ woman to a mafia boss/ king/ powerful woman? I'm presuming that the actual gameplay isn't anything whatsoever like the ads.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #75 on: September 14, 2020, 04:17:12 PM »
Has anyone played those where you work your way up from being a dogsbody/ peasant/ woman to a mafia boss/ king/ powerful woman? I'm presuming that the actual gameplay isn't anything whatsoever like the ads.

Goodness, no. They are like Populous/Civ/Tropico/etc. but tediously paced and with ridiculous difficulty spikes to encourage you to pay money.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #76 on: October 12, 2020, 08:46:03 PM »
Looks like the Advertising Standards Authority has finally stuttered into life and done something about a couple of these misleading ads.

Quote
Two misleading ads for mobile games that bear little relation to the actual product have been banned by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

The ads, for the Homescapes and Gardenscapes games, both come from developer Playrix.

They showed a game where users pull pins in a specific order to solve a puzzle - though the actual games had totally different "core gameplay".

The ASA said the ads should not be used again.

In recent years, a number of mobile games have used ad videos that show puzzle game mechanics they do not use - or barely use - prompting complaints from gamers

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-54509970

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #77 on: January 10, 2021, 01:21:07 PM »
I've been getting loads of adverts for games where the video is just a cartoon of a beautiful woman getting stuck somewhere and then another beautiful woman walks past with some phallic shaped objects and then the video cuts to the first woman whose expression changes from concern to shock to aroused.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0dh3H_MPM4

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #78 on: January 10, 2021, 01:24:48 PM »
Has anyone played those where you work your way up from being a dogsbody/ peasant/ woman to a mafia boss/ king/ powerful woman? I'm presuming that the actual gameplay isn't anything whatsoever like the ads.

Is the gameplay just selecting binary choices with an overarching element of chance?

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #79 on: January 10, 2021, 03:29:35 PM »
The butler guy from Homescapes is now just a head & a shrug in a bowl, floating down a corridor of water, bumping into pipes, forever.

Klondyke Adventures can't decide if it's pretending to be about some cartoon sheep that nearly get massacred and or a cartoon woman sitting on the loo, screaming & crying because she didn't just get squashed to death by toilet rolls.

I have no context for this sentence

Thought I was having a stroke

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #80 on: January 10, 2021, 08:24:52 PM »
Is the gameplay just selecting binary choices with an overarching element of chance?

I've no idea, all the adverts show are clips like the one I linked to. There's one where a ceiling collapses and a woman is dangling through the hole whilst a woman walks past below carrying a dildo shaped object and it's insinuated that she starts inserting it in to the dangler's fanny. I'm sure that there's no gameplay that has the remotest thing to do with the clips. I'm guessing that there aren't any widely available smutty games?

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #81 on: January 10, 2021, 11:49:08 PM »
I'm guessing that there aren't any widely available smutty games?
Oh you poor, sweet naive child. Advertisements for those games are limited by the underlying app's rating

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #82 on: August 17, 2021, 01:23:34 PM »
Have these games now been replaced by those games where you catch your husband cheating on you with the maid and you and your young child are then forced to move into "Grandma's old house" despite it not being fit for human habitation or a safe environment in which to raise a small child and then you have to patch up the windows and leaking pipes while your husband (presumably) gets to sack off all parental responsibilities and carry on boffing the maid in your nice warm bed in your nice modern house?

These are also just Candy Crush clones in disguise (and one of them is another Homescapes game) but why is the premise for so many of them so similar? Quite a depressing idea for a game, no? They may as well be called Shafted By The Pre-Nup Simulator.

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #83 on: August 17, 2021, 04:09:02 PM »
The subject matter is quite relatable. Having your seemingly cosy life turned upside down due to no fault of your own and having to start again from scratch is depressingly common in the real world.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #84 on: August 17, 2021, 04:22:39 PM »
The subject matter is quite relatable. Having your seemingly cosy life turned upside down due to no fault of your own and having to start again from scratch is depressingly common in the real world.

But also everyone likes Candy Crush so that’s a nice surprise innit Andy?

Blue Jam

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #85 on: August 17, 2021, 05:54:07 PM »
:)

The subject matter is quite relatable. Having your seemingly cosy life turned upside down due to no fault of your own and having to start again from scratch is depressingly common in the real world.

Oh yes, but why is it never a man who catches his wife boffing the plumber? Or a family whose original nice house is destroyed by a hurricane? Or the crew of a space shuttle who crash-land on an unfamiliar planet and have to restore an abandoned alien base? Or any other scenario where people or other beings may or may not have to restore a home?

Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #86 on: August 19, 2021, 02:46:13 PM »
Oh yes, but why is it never a man who catches his wife boffing the plumber? Or a family whose original nice house is destroyed by a hurricane? Or the crew of a space shuttle who crash-land on an unfamiliar planet and have to restore an abandoned alien base? Or any other scenario where people or other beings may or may not have to restore a home?

Because the most reliable audience for match 3 games is women.

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Re: Those games where you slide the thing and the lava falls down
« Reply #87 on: September 08, 2021, 11:53:29 PM »
I've been getting loads of adverts for games where the video is just a cartoon of a beautiful woman getting stuck somewhere and then another beautiful woman walks past with some phallic shaped objects and then the video cuts to the first woman whose expression changes from concern to shock to aroused.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0dh3H_MPM4

Needs some David firth overdubbing

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