Stupid quotes from well known people.

[Fr.Bigley]

"It's definitely hit Defoe's hand as it's gone in, but it's not a handball for me." - Michael Owen.

[DrGreggles]

"He's the 2nd best player in the world, and there's no higher praise than that." - Kevin Keegan

[Icehaven]

"I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, "Why stop at one?" I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platoon of monkeys, so that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted i am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around." - Robert Downey Jnr.

[ollyboro]

 "Bin Laden is either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive". - Donald Rumsfeld.

[SpiderChrist]

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." Arnold Schwarzenegger

[Fr.Bigley]

"Bin Laden is either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive". - Donald Rumsfeld.

Love this one. Famously this is one of his stonkers:

"there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. ... But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don't know we don't know."

[seepage]

^ that's fine:
known knowns: things we know, and we know we know them
known unknowns: things we know that we don't know
unknown knowns: things we know but don't realise we know them
unknown unknowns: things we don't know that we don't know

[Sin Agog]

She's released two of the finest albums ever, but I don't think she was all that bright. "I made a mistake. I said in Melody Maker to some interviewer that I didn't like negroes. That's all. They took it so personally...although it's a whole different race. I mean, Bob Marley doesn't resemble a negro, does he? He's an archetype of Jamaican, but with the features like white people. I don't like the features. They're so much like animals... It's cannibals, no?" - Nico

[Fr.Bigley]

^ that's fine:
known knowns: things we know, and we know we know them
known unknowns: things we know that we don't know
unknown knowns: things we know but don't realise we know them
unknown unknowns: things we don't know that we don't know

it's just the structure of it that strikes me as sounding more stupid than it is. also Rumsfeld saying anything comes across badly.

[wosl]

The implication of Owen's is surely that it wasn't 'deliberate handball'.

[ajsmith2]

'Like Thatcher, Mike Skinner from The Streets helped the British middle class find their self respect again' - Gavin McInnes.

That's a paraphrase from memory as the original tweet is long gone, but it was words to that effect. Anyway I remember it as being a notably cringeworthy attempt to (coming from
a Canadian with UK ancestry and connections) impart some 'insider' insight on these UK - specific subjects to his young and mainly American fanbase and getting the specifics bizzarely 'off' in the process. I think it was meant to be provocative but the comparison is such a non sequitur it falls flat on its face.

[Fr.Bigley]

The implication of Owen's is surely that it wasn't 'deliberate handball'.

"To stay in the game, you have to stay in the game."

'"these days often have to use their feet"

"That would've been a goal had it gone inside the post."........The Guy is Seneca obviously.

[Rainbow Moses]

"The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory, is that conspiracy theorists believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is actually chaotic. The truth is that it is not The Iluminati, or The Jewish Banking Conspiracy, or the Gray Alien Theory.

The truth is far more frightening - Nobody is in control.

The world is rudderless." - Alan Moore

Much-quoted and very admirable and all that, but the idea that no one is in control and political conspiracies don't exist at all, just because some of the well-known ones are egregious and offensive, is complete crap. Nothing to do with finding the alternative too frightening.

I like how this never stopped him from making these ideas cool in the first place through writing popular, critically-acclaimed stories that involve conspiracies, secret societies, false flags, totalitarian governments, and hidden hands directing major plot points and entire societies.

[earl_sleek]

"I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I don't like to think at all." - Kanye West

[ollyboro]

Love this one. Famously this is one of his stonkers:

"there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. ... But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don't know we don't know."

The man's a genius.

"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [ Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." –on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction
"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Noted fuckbrain and son of Will, Jaden Smith:

[bgmnts]

What does that even mean?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

He doesn't know.

[touchingcloth]

He doesn't know.

He's not saying that mirrors aren't real, he's saying IF our eyes aren't real then how can mirrors be. If, mate. IF.

If you can't even read properly, how can you not be the world's biggest peodo?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I'm not the world's biggest paedo. To be honest I barely scrape into the top ten.

[ollyboro]

I'm not the world's biggest paedo. To be honest I barely scrape into the top ten.

Princes Philip and Andrew will be dead soon, so that should firmly ensconce you.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hooray!

[Jockice]

"He's the 2nd best player in the world, and there's no higher praise than that." - Kevin Keegan

Plus 'my father was a miner and he worked down a mine.'

[Satchmo Distel]

"It's deja vu all over again" - credited to both Yogi Berra and Paul Gascoigne

[madhair60]

"Brrrrrrm. Pop! Pop! Pop! Sneezes are nostril poetry. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm!!!" - The Gamesmaster

[Dyl Spinks]

Post-match interviewer: "Disappointed, Kevin?"

Keegan: (sighs) "I'm not disappointed, no. Just disappointed."

I'm sure this happened. Can't remember when/which match.

[Dex Sawash]

<---check right there in most posts

[Cold Meat Platter]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." John Sedgwick (September 13, 1813 – May 9, 1864) was a military officer and Union Army general during the American Civil War.

[Camp Tramp]

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

George W Bush

[DrGreggles]

Post-match interviewer: "Disappointed, Kevin?"

Keegan: (sighs) "I'm not disappointed, no. Just disappointed."

I'm sure this happened. Can't remember when/which match.

"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23."

"Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger."

"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."

"You can't play with a one-armed goalkeeper...not at this level."

"He scores most of his goals when he's got the ball."

This thread could easily just be Keggy quotes.