Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 12:40:07 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Vanity projects

Started by Famous Mortimer, June 30, 2020, 10:33:43 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Famous Mortimer

I just discovered the existence of Frank D'Angelo. He's an energy drink millionaire in Canada, and uses his money to host a talk show, which he airs in pay-to-play slots on late night cable (the bits you'd normally see those long adverts), and also make movies.

He's directed ten of them since 2013, and his gimmick is hiring the most washed up actors he can find, such as Daniel Baldwin, Margot Kidder and Robert Loggia (who was memorably described as "I don't think he's aware he's being filmed" in 2015's No Deposit). They look bizarre, and I'm kinda interested to see one. D'Angelo plays the brilliant, sexually irresistible, undefeatable hero in all of them, of course.

There's also Jalal Merhi, Neil Breen, and dozens of others. Do you have a favourite vanity project movie / director?

magval

I love Quentin Tarantino films but his acting definitely qualifies as vain indulgence, whether it's the awful subdued turn in Pulp Fiction or the other end of the scale in Planet Terror and Duhjango Unchained.

greenman

The latter was I believe a last minute replacement for someone dropping out and I think it sticks out a lot more than the early stuff which is IMHO work reasonably well.

QDRPHNC

#3
GETEVEN!

He loves, he kills, he bangs hot babes, he quotes Shakespeare, he sings, he tells brilliant jokes, and he doesn't do drugs OR worship the devil.

The move is shit though, just watch the RLM review.

George White

Cliff Twemlow - Manchester's answer to Cannon Films.

magval

Quote from: greenman on July 01, 2020, 04:33:36 PM
The latter was I believe a last minute replacement for someone dropping out and I think it sticks out a lot more than the early stuff which is IMHO work reasonably well.

He doesn't have an ounce of the charisma in Pulp Fiction that's needed for a character to convincingly ask Samuel L Jackson if he has a sign outside his house that reads 'dead n**ger storage'. I don't buy that it comes from how early in the morning it is, or any of the other excuses I've thought of over the years.

In the later films he's just a stupid cartoon character in films full of stupid cartoon characters, but those scenes in Pulp Fiction, despite the action that directly leads up to them, call for a power behind the restraint and he just doesn't have it.

DJ Bob Hoskins

I would pay hard cash to see Michael Flatley's as-yet-unreleased movie "Blackbird". There's no way it isn't incredible for all the wrong reasons.

JaDanketies

I thought the Cradle of Filth horror movie Cradle of Fear, starring Emily Booth, is very entertaining (although I am a fan of the band). There's a particularly weird scene where they got Emily Booth to get naked and act all sexy in front of CoF lead singer Dani Filth, and it's very obvious that they're not even in the same building at the time of filming. A little weird that they made a vanity film, with at least part of their motivation being to see Emily Booth's titties, and there's still no indication that they got to see them in the flesh.

The Tarentino cameo in Pulp Fiction is definitely not the best part in the film, and he's too famous a face to say 'the n word' so many times while being white, in a movie he wrote. Would've been better to have almost any other actor in that role.

Custard

Idris Elba (cancelled after one series) "comedy" series Turn Up Charlie. So amazingly bad. All the characters keep repeating how good looking he is, what a great musician he is, what a great lad he is, and that he has a massive willy. Like Elba doesn't love himself enough. Genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen on a big platform (Netflix)

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Shameless Custard on July 02, 2020, 01:56:18 PM
Idris Elba (cancelled after one series) "comedy" series Turn Up Charlie. So amazingly bad. All the characters keep repeating how good looking he is, what a great musician he is, what a great lad he is, and that he has a massive willy. Like Elba doesn't love himself enough. Genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen on a big platform (Netflix)
Idris Elba also seems to make a lot of programs in which he travels to exotic places, drives fast cars, spins records, etc, but I don't think he pays for them himself.

magval

I don't think of Cradle of Fear as a vanity project, really. Alex Chandon had already directed their first few videos, and had worked with Emily Booth in both the From The Cradle To Enslave clip and his film Pervirella. I think it was more of a sort of melting pot for these cultish English artists to make something rubbish together, but despite the name and marketing Dani (and the other then-members) aren't in the film all that much. It certainly isn't about any of the characters they play.

Also, last time I saw it, it was on Amazon Prime and all the music had been removed, including in the nightclub scene, making the film's already-wonky foley and dubbing even more dreadful.

zomgmouse

Been keen to see Gone with the Pope, I think that falls in the category.

greenman

Quote from: magval on July 02, 2020, 10:01:51 AM
He doesn't have an ounce of the charisma in Pulp Fiction that's needed for a character to convincingly ask Samuel L Jackson if he has a sign outside his house that reads 'dead n**ger storage'. I don't buy that it comes from how early in the morning it is, or any of the other excuses I've thought of over the years.

In the later films he's just a stupid cartoon character in films full of stupid cartoon characters, but those scenes in Pulp Fiction, despite the action that directly leads up to them, call for a power behind the restraint and he just doesn't have it.

Not sure he has quite enough charisma to stand up to Jackson but yeah I do think he had a good deal of it early in his career albeit as a rather one note loudmouth character.

Memoirs of an Invisible Man comes to mind, was essentially Chevy Chase pushing it wasn't it to the degree he forced Reitman out.

George White

Dick Dickman, PI by Wexford "comedian" Barry O'Neill.
Widely available yet no Imdb page until I added it.

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97C9akypOjg
Very much a proto-Blackbird, down to Bergin (plus almost every Irish comedian of note - Brendan O'Carroll pre-Mrs. Brown's Boys, June Rodgers, Brendan Grace, Jon Kenny, Frank Carson, Doreen Keogh...)
Reviewed it here   https://www.thespinningimage.co.uk/cultfilms/displaycultfilm.asp?reviewid=12208

Actually, the Mrs. Brown's Boys video specials would count.

Brundle-Fly

I see Joaquin Phoenix's I'm Still Here (2010) is currently on Netflix. Worth a look? The premise never quite intrigued me enough to rent.

JaDanketies

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on July 04, 2020, 04:47:55 PM
I see Joaquin Phoenix's I'm Still Here (2010) is currently on Netflix. Worth a look? The premise never quite intrigued me enough to rent.


Nah it's perhaps the worst thing I've seen him in. Definitely a vanity project

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

It could make for an interesting double bill with You Were Never Really Here.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: JaDanketies on July 04, 2020, 05:02:19 PM

Nah it's perhaps the worst thing I've seen him in. Definitely a vanity project

I like Phoenix, he's a great actor and appears to be a nice enough guy, but his terrible 'in character' appearance on the Letterman show dissuaded me from ever watching that film.

It was such a tedious, unfunny attempt at a deliberately awkward Andy Kaufman-esque bit, and he couldn't even remain in character for the duration of the interview. Letterman was understandably bored and annoyed, and his sarcastic quips made Phoenix laugh a couple of times. He was unable to commit to whatever that character was supposed to be for ten minutes, because he's not a comedian.

Mate, Andy Kaufman was a genius, a genuine oddball who nevertheless knew exactly what he was doing. You're an (admittedly talented) dramatic actor, there's no way you were ever going to pull off something along those lines. You were out of your depth. It was embarrassing.

I know he isn't reading this.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on July 04, 2020, 06:08:09 PM
I like Phoenix, he's a great actor and appears to be a nice enough guy
I thought he'd had some very unpleasant stories told about him?

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 04, 2020, 05:13:00 PM
It could make for an interesting double bill with You Were Never Really Here.

Ah, that might be the one on Netflix. Soz.

Custard

#20
EDIT - Ah, deleted some probably not true "blind gossip" about Phoenix. Nothing horrible, but feels a bit shitty to speculate about

Casey Affleck is meant to be well dodgy, mind

Goldentony

played the long game auld joe quinn though didnt he there, ah sorry for being in that shit film and mad on your show last time I was here, here im in the master, then loads of other shit people love, whats that oh yeah sorry again there davey correspondence lad, sorry

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

A Million Ways to Die in the West is fucking awful and the main reason I will never ever watch The Orville. Ted, on the other hand, has a thoughtful, nuanced message about growing up and putting away childish things. And it manages not to make the female lead a horrible shrieking killjoy.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: Shameless Custard on July 02, 2020, 01:56:18 PM
Idris Elba (cancelled after one series) "comedy" series Turn Up Charlie. So amazingly bad. All the characters keep repeating how good looking he is, what a great musician he is, what a great lad he is, and that he has a massive willy. Like Elba doesn't love himself enough. Genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen on a big platform (Netflix)

Haha bloody hell might have to give that one a go

Ant Farm Keyboard

Something something late era Ricky Gervais.

Sextette, starring Mae West. It was intended to be farcical when the script was written in the 30s or 40s. But no amount of wigs, make-up and vaseline on the lens could hide the fact that Mae West was 84 when it was produced.

One-Eyed Jacks, directed by and starring Marlon Brando. Not a disaster, but in order to get the director's seat, Brando got rid of Stanley Kubrick.

The Evil Within, written and directed by Andrew Getty (J. Paul Getty's grandson). Based on his nightmares and his drugs issues, it was shot over the course of three or four years in his mansion, and starred Sean Patrick Flannery and Dina Meyer, then Getty spent a decade on post-production and SFX and died. The film was completed by the editor two years after.

Most of the stuff written by and starring musicians. Like Bob Dylan's Reynaldo and Clara, Bob Dylan's Masked & Anonymous, Prince's Under the Cherry Moon...

Swept Away. The Madonna project that caused husband Guy Ritchie to leave Layer Cake into the hands of his producer Matthew Vaughn.


George White

Has anyone else seen the Astrologer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2wbgjmPXxE&t=22s

American astrologer Craig Denney makes a film where the script was decided by astrology.

An attempt to revive Republic Pictures.

neveragain

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on July 10, 2020, 09:42:33 PM
A Million Ways to Die in the West is fucking awful and the main reason I will never ever watch The Orville. Ted, on the other hand, has a thoughtful, nuanced message about growing up and putting away childish things. And it manages not to make the female lead a horrible shrieking killjoy.

Less said about Ted 2 the better!
But the Orville is nothing like Die In The West. It's quite restrained, and sometimes approaches TNG standard (which of is obviously based on). I do like the Western film actually but no one else does.

Dusty Substance


Coming off the back of two Die Hards and Moonlighting, Hudson Hawk was very much a vanity project for Bruce Willis.

It was him trying to do the kind of light-hearted spy capers that were popular in the 60s, with a pretty big budget and a chance for him to sing on-screen.

Famously a flop upon release, I've always been a fan of it.

madhair60

Quote from: neveragain on April 11, 2021, 01:16:13 PM
Less said about Ted 2 the better!
But the Orville is nothing like Die In The West. It's quite restrained, and sometimes approaches TNG standard (which of is obviously based on). I do like the Western film actually but no one else does.

Yeah, The Orville is a lot of fun. Much, much better than you'd think.

St_Eddie

Quote from: magval on July 01, 2020, 02:25:43 PM
I love Quentin Tarantino films but his acting definitely qualifies as vain indulgence, whether it's the awful subdued turn in Pulp Fiction or the other end of the scale in Planet Terror and Duhjango Unchained.

Agreed, but it must be said that he was pretty darn good as Ritchie in From Dusk Till Dawn.

Quote from: JaDanketies on July 02, 2020, 11:28:14 AM
I thought the Cradle of Filth horror movie Cradle of Fear, starring Emily Booth, is very entertaining (although I am a fan of the band). There's a particularly weird scene where they got Emily Booth to get naked and act all sexy in front of CoF lead singer Dani Filth, and it's very obvious that they're not even in the same building at the time of filming. A little weird that they made a vanity film, with at least part of their motivation being to see Emily Booth's titties, and there's still no indication that they got to see them in the flesh.

There's a few shots at the end of the scene where Dani Filth gets on top of the nude Emily Booth.