Anti-social behaviour by group of kids in my front garden

[Twit 2]

I asked them nicely to stop and they ignored me (a foolish choice IMO) so told them I would curse them and their families if I ever saw them again, seemed to do the trick.

For reals?

ask nicely
... ? ....
threaten to curse them
actually curse them (presumably)

Feels like you need an extra step there.

[madhair60]

Buelligan, what sort of hexes have you been working with lately? All mine require animal sacrifice and I expect that's something you won't tolerate. Have you ever summoned a demon? I have. He's a cunt.

[Zetetic]

Leave an open can of beer or something under the wall on your side, loads of wasps will come and buzz about.  IME, children do not like to sit or hang about where lots of wasps are.

Was going to suggest something like this. Splash squash everywhere or something.

How rough are these children? How rough are you?

[Cloud]

What about one of those devices adults don't hear much but make a godawful high pitched noise to the ears of a child?

[Zetetic]

Feels like you need a middle step, there.

Which is what Buelligan moved to - threaten to curse them.

[Kryton]

Start barking like a mad dog.

[Twit 2]

Which is what Buelligan moved to - threaten to curse them.

Er...yes, that was my point.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Brown note. Max volume.

The whole postcode shit their self to death 🤎🤎🤎

[Zetetic]

Er...yes, that was my point.

A threat's not the same as a curse.

[Twit 2]

A threat's not the same as a curse.

Have edited my post so that my point about excessive escalation is clearer. I (threaten to) curse your literal-mindedness!

[Sebastian Cobb]

What about one of those devices adults don't hear much but make a godawful high pitched noise to the ears of a child?

Joe Pisquale?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Brown note. Max volume.

The whole postcode shit their self to death 🤎🤎🤎

Start lecturing them about the 5g death rays the council are fitting in your street lamps.

They won't believe you, but they might give you wide berth because they think you're mental.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

What about one of those devices adults don't hear much but make a godawful high pitched noise to the ears of a child?

Could I draw your attention to Reply #50 please?

[Sebastian Cobb]

I never even noticed this place keeps a running count of the reply numbers.

[Buelligan]

Those noise things are no good because the pharmacists have eaten all the drugs.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Could I draw your attention to Reply #50 please?

And the Poundland version at reply #54

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

These people don't listen Tony. They just don't listen. Or read.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I never even noticed this place keeps a running count of the reply numbers.

I find them very useful when I'm being pedantic.

[madhair60]

Those noise things are no good because the pharmacists have eaten all the drugs.

Buelligan, you ignored my post about your curses. It was well-intentioned, I promise you that.

[Cloud]

Could I draw your attention to Reply #50 please?

But that implies reading the thread properly rather than near-blindly wading in to shitpost :(

[Buelligan]

Buelligan, you ignored my post about your curses. It was well-intentioned, I promise you that.

I try hard never to curse people any more.  Can't speak to the other questions, I don't really go in for that sort of thing.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Put up a sign saying BEWARE OF THE NONCE

[Ferris]

Light one of those strings of bangers you can only get in France that goes off one after the other then throw them in your own house. No one wants to hang around a giant exploding burning house.

Edit: Just looked up those French exploding banger things and some people on YouTube do some childishly mad stuff with them...

[Cloud]

Have you thought of a notice of some kind, maybe "pedo lives here"?

[Barry Admin]

Have you considered pederasty?

[confettiinmyhair]

Buy a sign that says 'this property has CCTV,' display it somewhere visible from where they are hanging out.

[Gurke and Hare]

Putting a mosquito up is an order of magnitude more anti-social than anything kids hanging around will do. Those things should be illegal.

[non capisco]

Go out and try to bond with them. "Hey, dudes! I've just been listening to Lady Gaga! She's RAD, isn't she?" They'll be away like a shot.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Go out and try to bond with them. "Hey, dudes! I've just been listening to Lady Gaga! She's RAD, isn't she?" They'll be away like a shot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4-pPBGZguc

[Fambo Number Mive]

Thanks everyone. I reported both incidents to the police yesterday evening. I don't thinking engaging with the children myself will work - it might for some but I come across as quite weird and am not very articulate, it would be obvious to the children I am quite vulnerable so it would probably make things worse.

It probably sounds silly to some but these incidents have really shaken me up and upset me and I don't feel safe at the moment. I suspect they have seen me outside the home and want to target someone with mental health issues and Aspergers. Part of it may be boredom but I don't know when the things to keep kids busy will open up again. I'm very bored which isn't helping my mental health either, but I don't cause trouble for other people.

I think the Mosquito will be quite a lot of money but I will consider this, I might not put it up but could turn it on when there is another incident. Also considering the CCTV camera.

The support on here really helps as I wasn't coping well even before this started happening.