Author Topic: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments  (Read 6710 times)

icehaven

  • Marmalade's reared it's head in every course
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #60 on: July 13, 2020, 12:39:15 AM »
I've mentioned this before but at Christmas I was playing Trivial Pursuit with some family, and my first question was what abandoned building was the Ghostbusters' base in. I correctly answered fire station, and my cousin's son, in his early 20s, said he thought it was a Chinese restaurant. Turned out he'd only seen the recent remake and didn't think it meant the original (although the version of the game we were playing with probably predated the remake by a good decade.)

Famous Mortimer

  • War - it's fantastic!
    • International Syndicate of Cult Film Critics
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #61 on: July 13, 2020, 02:29:06 AM »
funny thing is that no one has a problem with the knife
I'd pronounce the knife with the "bow" sound "and arrows" style; and the popular musician I'd say the "off of a ship" way. Otherwise his son's name would make no sense. Unless I've been getting Mr Jones' name all this time, or the knife.

Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #62 on: July 13, 2020, 09:42:58 AM »
My mate Dallas getting Victor Meldrew wrong might be the most I've ever laughed at anything (that didn't involve someone falling into a pond*).

It was the combination of his misplaced confidence in his ability as an impressionist, the stunningly inaccurate voice, and the fact that he thought the catchphrase was "I don't believe you".
Who knew that something could be so bad so quickly.


Can't find a clip but on shooting stars he gets introduced as Richard 'I don't believe you' Wilson and they get it wrong throughout the show.

earl_sleek

  • I ask him to remove all your posts, dick head
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #63 on: July 13, 2020, 11:12:16 AM »
I'd pronounce the knife with the "bow" sound "and arrows" style; and the popular musician I'd say the "off of a ship" way. Otherwise his son's name would make no sense. Unless I've been getting Mr Jones' name all this time, or the knife.

The 'Zowie' in 'Zowie Bowie'[1] was pronounced 'Zoe'.
 1. Now known as 'Duncan'

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #64 on: July 13, 2020, 12:04:16 PM »
Did this Matt Holness character ever post on CaB?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LeaAljsy7s

Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #65 on: July 13, 2020, 01:09:57 PM »
The 'Zowie' in 'Zowie Bowie'[1] was pronounced 'Zoe'.
 1. Now known as 'Duncan'


You mean Zoë? (Sorry.)

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #66 on: July 13, 2020, 01:32:38 PM »
There's a bit in the (low-quality) sitcom Benidorm where Johnny Vegas's "Lancashire pub quiz champion" character is hanging around whilst his mum and another couple are doing a crossword and getting all the answers wrong, but completely ignoring his (correct) suggestions. When he finally explodes in a very "stop getting Bond wrong" way, they all unanimously say "It's just a game, why does it matter?"

That's pretty much me with my family, albeit largely internal, especially when it came to pub quizzes or Christmas trivia games. Maddening when everyone else at the table agrees that the correct answer to "which musician was known as the Father of Rock and Roll?" is Paul McCartney, and retorts "that's just your opinion" when you insist that it's Chuck Berry. If they'd guessed Elvis, I could at least forgive that. But Paul McCartney?! That incident in particular has probably had a devastating effect on my relationships with people.

My sister once said that Benidorm is as good as Fawlty Towers. I can't even comprehend that.

I'm not really a quiz fan but some of my mates are. Anyway in the early years of the century one of them had a big tenth wedding anniversary do in a restaurant part of which was a quiz based on the events of the last decade for which we were separated into seemingly random teams. One of the questions was: "Which band won four Brit awards in 1995? " I said Blur. It was ignored. So I repeated that it was Blur. Still no response. Except a bit of pooh-pooing Then someone said: "I think it was Take That." To which everyone else agreed, although I repeated the word 'Blur.' Probably about a dozen times to no avail. Hey, guess what, we lost the quiz by one point. Take Fucking That my arse.

I had a similar experience on a quiz a few years earlier (which was filmed by MTV or something. I never saw it). Can't remember what the question was but the answer was Don't Worry Be Happy. What's up, did the other team members think that as a music journalist I wouldn't know something like that?

I was vindicated a few years later when I took part in one with some work colleagues and won tickets to see Kylie live. As the only member of my team who recognised the intro to Planet Claire I'd like to claim all the glory for that one. Every single bit of it.

Jumblegraws

  • Member
  • **
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #67 on: July 13, 2020, 01:45:33 PM »
Fucking guy once insisted that the words are “We go to play, and have a look/with Rosie’s bag, Jim’s colouring book”, which is not only the wrong word but adds a whole extra syllable.

Had a similar argument with a girl who once claimed that the mouse in Pink Floyd’s Bike is called Jeremy and not Gerald. To her credit she had a re-listen at her first opportunity and admitted her error.

earl_sleek

  • I ask him to remove all your posts, dick head
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #68 on: July 13, 2020, 02:14:25 PM »


You mean Zoë? (Sorry.)

No, I mean 2 WORLD WARS AND ONE WORLD CUP

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #69 on: July 13, 2020, 02:42:37 PM »
I'd pronounce the knife with the "bow" sound "and arrows" style; and the popular musician I'd say the "off of a ship" way. Otherwise his son's name would make no sense. Unless I've been getting Mr Jones' name all this time, or the knife.

Here's Bowie saying his own name...
https://vocaroo.com/7rNy4FBuTYV

Voltan (Man of Steel)

  • 8% English, apparently
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #70 on: July 13, 2020, 03:28:51 PM »
Jeez! If even the man himself can’t get it right...

Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #71 on: July 13, 2020, 05:42:59 PM »
At the age of about nine I was reduced to tears by a kid at the local youth club's insistence that there was no such bird as a wagtail

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #72 on: July 13, 2020, 07:01:30 PM »
if anyone colours the ground under a dinosaur green, i helpfully point out that there was no grass in dinosaur times.

That's supremely helpful of you but wasn't there any lichen or something.  Or at least weren't the dinosaurs shedding green feathers day and night.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #73 on: July 13, 2020, 07:05:23 PM »
"It's Roy SCHEIDER, not fucking ROY SCHNEIDER"

This is untrue when we are speaking about Roy KINNEAR



and I am speaking about Roy KINNEAR

The Mollusk

  • I spoke with fervour, embracing the evening
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #74 on: July 13, 2020, 07:14:48 PM »
thecuriousorange’s personal text reads “WELCOME THRILLHOU” when it’s fucking “WELCOME THRILLHO” and I’ve told the bastard about it at least twice and I think he enjoys ignoring me because he knows how much it winds me up. It winds me up SO MUCH.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #75 on: July 13, 2020, 07:15:38 PM »
The apes and monkeys thing.

There's one as well where people say they are "not sceptical of evolution theory but" and then they say "how come if we evolved from apes there are still apes around."


With some people you can patiently unfold an explanation about something like evolution that treats them as if they are five years old, yet weeks later they'll still drop the same moronic point into a conversation as if you never did it.  "So how come, yeah, if we evolved from chimps there are still chimps around *smug face*."  I explained it to you a few weeks ago don't you fucking remember?  Why are you still choosing to pretend that this is an unexplained mystery or hole in evolution theory?  Have you simply rehearsed this conversation-starter so often that you can't now ever drop it?  Or are you actively seeking out other people to agree with your wilful ignorance?  "Yeah I'm an absolute fuckwit as well!  Let's together refuse to learn anything!!"

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #76 on: July 13, 2020, 07:36:22 PM »
Friend at uni insisted the phrase was "say boo to a ghost". He said "say boo to a goose" didn't make sense because geese aren't scary. I tried explaining that was exactly why it made sense but he was having none of it.

What's unscary about puppeteered castanets honking and lunging at your genitals?

QDRPHNC

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • "A soupçon of pizzazz."
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #77 on: July 13, 2020, 08:57:10 PM »
I'm steering clear of The Sopranos thread, because even the most polite, articulate, well-intentioned post about how Tony might not have died at the end makes me want to argue with it endlessly.

KennyMonster

  • Dance like The Goverment is watching.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #78 on: July 14, 2020, 12:28:44 PM »
No, I mean 2 WORLD WARS AND ONE WORLD CUP

Oh yes I've heard about this, its a video of two Brazilian birds taking a dump in some fella's Pot Noodle or something isn't it?

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #79 on: July 14, 2020, 12:46:48 PM »
Taken from howitworks

'A common fear about body paint is whether a head-to-toe coat can cause a person to suffocate. This likely comes from the James Bond movie Goldfinger." In the 1964 film, the villain Goldfinger kills character Jill Masterson (played by Shirley Eaton) by covering her in gold paint, causing her death by suffocation. An urban legend spread that Eaton actually died on set from asphyxiation from the same gold paint. However, this is physically impossible, and as to this day, Eaton is alive and well. We don't breathe through our skin -- we breathe through our noses and mouths. Therefore, covering your entire body in paint won't cause you to suffocate.'

I always assumed Oddjob killed Jill Masterson by some other means and then sprayed her gold as a trademark warning. Probably didn't even bother with most of the front of her body as she was lying face down on the bed. It seems far too labour intensive to murder someone in a public place in this manner.


Bad Ambassador

  • Sit down, Mario!
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #80 on: July 14, 2020, 01:14:31 PM »
Taken from howitworks

I always assumed Oddjob killed Jill Masterson by some other means and then sprayed her gold as a trademark warning. Probably didn't even bother with most of the front of her body as she was lying face down on the bed. It seems far too labour intensive to murder someone in a public place in this manner.

Quote from: a transcript of the movie
She died of skin suffocation. It can happen to cabaret dancers. You should leave a small bare patch at the base of the spine to allow the skin to breathe.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #81 on: July 14, 2020, 01:30:47 PM »
I remember back when I had FB I once spent half an hour correcting all the birthday messages by putting a comma between happy birthday and my name.  Not one person had the magic comma in there. It was mostly done ironically, but the responses were really hurt sounding:- "I was trying to let you know that I care."

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #82 on: July 14, 2020, 02:42:23 PM »
Fucking guy once insisted that the words are “We go to play, and have a look/with Rosie’s bag, Jim’s colouring book”, which is not only the wrong word but adds a whole extra syllable.

Friend at school insisted that the Stingray theme tune went "Stingray, Stingray, der derder der der der der der", adding an extra two der der's that would have made it in 9/8 timing. He ended up claiming he knew he was right because Gerry Anderson was his uncle and played it every morning at breakfast.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #83 on: July 14, 2020, 03:06:25 PM »
An Antony And The Johnsons track has just been posted in Oscillations. A workmate of mine once went to mention them in conversation, forgot their name halfway through the sentence and called them Jonathan And The Wotsits instead. My 'big cheesy puff' comment afterwards would see me cancelled for sure today.

Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #84 on: July 14, 2020, 03:32:12 PM »

bond is a fucking arsehole who doesnt know what hes talking about maybe

KennyMonster

  • Dance like The Goverment is watching.
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #85 on: July 14, 2020, 04:09:19 PM »
bond is a fucking arsehole who doesnt know what hes talking about maybe

So getting Bond right is a 'getting Bond wrong' moment?

There was also some nonsense in a Bond about Sumo wrestler's being able to get their balls to retract inside themselves so they can't get knacker knack'd in a match.
This could perhaps be the Bond movie where Sean Connery 'yellowed up[1]'
 1. Have I misremembered that?, did it really happen?

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #86 on: July 14, 2020, 04:19:18 PM »
So getting Bond right is a 'getting Bond wrong' moment?

There was also some nonsense in a Bond about Sumo wrestler's being able to get their balls to retract inside themselves so they can't get knacker knack'd in a match.


Bond films have a thing about balls getting squeezed/ smashed/ kicked: Sumo assassin with the nappy tightening, Mr Wint on the boat, Bond himself and the chair & rope torture, Jaws (and his steel groin). Any more I've forgotten?

magval

  • Magnum Valentino
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #87 on: July 14, 2020, 05:37:57 PM »
It's in the novel, not the film. Stop getting Bond...

Have I been had?

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #88 on: July 14, 2020, 07:40:29 PM »
Bond films have a thing about balls getting squeezed/ smashed/ kicked: Sumo assassin with the nappy tightening, Mr Wint on the boat, Bond himself and the chair & rope torture, Jaws (and his steel groin). Any more I've forgotten?

The laser about to slice into his balls in Goldfinger.

Re: Your 'stop getting Bond wrong' moments
« Reply #89 on: July 14, 2020, 08:16:54 PM »
the world is not enough: total bollocks

Tags: