I may have mentioned earlier in the thread but I work in a clink and have a fair amount of experience working with sex offenders, and it's astonishing how consistently normal they can be, but then being extremely manipulative and living behind a facade is par for the course for them. It's the ones that don't get caught that are even more worrying
I once read about a study for which the researcher had interviewed rapists and pretty much all of them had some excuse for why what they did didn't really count as rape, even though when asked to describe what they had done they described having sex with someone without their consent, ie, the legal definition of rape:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/30/health/men-rape-sexual-assault.htmlThere's also this study of rapists convicted in India and there seems to be a pattern here:
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/12/16/570827107/in-interviews-with-122-rapists-student-pursues-not-so-simple-question-why?t=1608668686031Ditto for this one where the participants were serving sentences for rape in a Virginia prison:
https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/publications/abstract.aspx?ID=143963It looks like a lot of sex offenders somehow convince themselves that what they do is normal and justified and every rational person should understand, or secretly agrees that it's really not as bad or as deserving of punishment as various legal systems make it out to be. Something comparable to the whole "I'm just saying what we're all thinking" mentality, but with the idea that all men would rape if they thought they could get away with it. From that
New York Times article:
Most subjects in these studies freely acknowledge nonconsensual sex — but that does not mean they consider it real rape. Researchers encounter this contradiction again and again.
Asked “if they had penetrated against their consent,” said Dr. Koss, the subject will say yes. Asked if he did “something like rape,” the answer is almost always no.
Studies of incarcerated rapists — even men who admit to keeping sex slaves in conflict zones — find a similar disconnect. It’s not that they deny sexual assault happens; it’s just that the crime is committed by the monster over there.
And this is not a sign that the respondents are psychopaths, said Dr. Hamby, the journal editor. It’s a sign that they are human. “No one thinks they are a bad guy,” she said.
There seems to be this mentality that "rapist" is a strong word, a word for men who jump out of the bushes with a knife, not for men who once found themselves a bit horny while a friend was passed out at a party. I think there is a similar thing with child sex offenders, with some evidence from similar research based on interviews where offenders try and justify their crimes with statements like "she was almost legal", "at least it wasn't a ten-year-old", "at least it wasn't a baby" etc.
Could it be possible that these people seem normal because they've convinced themselves they
are normal, and it's the people condemning them who are the weird ones? Like the men who think every man would secretly love to have sex with a teenage girl and those who don't are just lying to themselves?
You also see a bit of this in btl comments under news articles- "if there's grass on the pitch", "she knew what she was doing", "this would have been legal in France" etc, not to mention those creeps who feel compelled to post "I think you'll find he's not a paedophile but an ephebophile,
actually" when the victim was over a certain age. It makes me wonder how prevalent this mentality really is, and what percentage of the population are a bit noncey or rapey.
I've also seen it argued that rape should be a crime classified by degrees of severity, like murder is in the US, but I think that's a terrible idea that would just be abused by rapists and their lawyers.
Bit of a rambly post there, sorry. Anyone got any more coherent thoughts?