Would you leave tradesmen alone in your house?

[pancreas]

No jokes about the tradesmans entrance, what sort of two bit comedy forum is this?

OK.

One tradesman is bent down in the doorway of a tradesman's entrance to tie his shoelaces. A second tradesman comes up behind and says, 'Seeing as you're down there, mate, do you mind sucking my dick?'

[Chedney Honks]

I'm a tradesman of 20+ years and nobody ever takes time off work to host me. The elderly or parents of young children are there sometimes but even they will usually go out to save being in the way. A tradesman is no different to any other worker, except for one absolutely massive fucking difference in that one negative comment to a friend from you can completely kill my business and ruin my life, so its in my interests to not be a thief or a corner cutter because, other than just general human nature and my desire to not be one anyway,  something tangible actually depends on it, there's nobody to hide behind or blame like in an office etc.

Essentially, what can be overseen? You don't know how to do my job any better than i know how to do yours, so all you are doing is checking on arrival and leaving time. Pop home at lunchtime under the pretence of checking everything is alright, whether they've found the tea and coffee etc but that's it. And only do that once. then they know they don't have the house to themselves all day so smoking, radio volume etc will all be respected if it wasn't already. Nobody likes an overbearing customer, it creates a bad atmosphere where you feel like you aren't being trusted which in turn creates friction on the job and a feeling of nitpicking, which leads to a blow-up. I absolutely advise against it. Don't snag the job before its finished either, some things might not look great until they are completed. Obviously if they are leaving a right fucking mess every night that's different, you've every right to complain then. Also, never pay more than half until completion. Any of your concerns will always be addressed then as he wants to get paid. Nit picking throughout will lead to a 'fuck this, i just want to finish' attitude and a less than impressive job.

Also, you wouldn't go and sit in your accountants office with a cup of tea and make sure he's doing your books properly, would you? Although there's a far fucking higher chance that he's ripping you off than your plasterer is , so try not to be elitist.

Well said.

[Dr Rock]

YABU

[Shit Good Nose]

Well said.

Yes, a very worthy read.

Alas I always take leave or work from home whenever we've had work done inside or even outside of the house, but that's a reflection of my own anxieties and not the tradespeople.  I do make sure I stay out of the way though and only offer drinks when I'm having one myself, otherwise I tell them to help themselves (or ask me), and use the bog whenever they need to without asking or owt.

[touchingcloth]

I'm a tradesman of 20+ years and nobody ever takes time off work to host me. The elderly or parents of young children are there sometimes but even they will usually go out to save being in the way. A tradesman is no different to any other worker, except for one absolutely massive fucking difference in that one negative comment to a friend from you can completely kill my business and ruin my life, so its in my interests to not be a thief or a corner cutter because, other than just general human nature and my desire to not be one anyway,  something tangible actually depends on it, there's nobody to hide behind or blame like in an office etc.

Essentially, what can be overseen? You don't know how to do my job any better than i know how to do yours, so all you are doing is checking on arrival and leaving time. Pop home at lunchtime under the pretence of checking everything is alright, whether they've found the tea and coffee etc but that's it. And only do that once. then they know they don't have the house to themselves all day so smoking, radio volume etc will all be respected if it wasn't already. Nobody likes an overbearing customer, it creates a bad atmosphere where you feel like you aren't being trusted which in turn creates friction on the job and a feeling of nitpicking, which leads to a blow-up. I absolutely advise against it. Don't snag the job before its finished either, some things might not look great until they are completed. Obviously if they are leaving a right fucking mess every night that's different, you've every right to complain then. Also, never pay more than half until completion. Any of your concerns will always be addressed then as he wants to get paid. Nit picking throughout will lead to a 'fuck this, i just want to finish' attitude and a less than impressive job.

Also, you wouldn't go and sit in your accountants office with a cup of tea and make sure he's doing your books properly, would you? Although there's a far fucking higher chance that he's ripping you off than your plasterer is , so try not to be elitist.

What about joiners?

[ollyboro]

Are these tradesmen black, and am I racist?

[Shit Good Nose]

Are these tradesmen black, and am I racist?

They're definitely not Polish cos they've all gone back home to a less fucked country.

[imitationleather]

I just get Bog to do all my odd jobs.

[Shit Good Nose]

I just get Bog to do all my odd jobs.

I note that several reviews say he leaves the place in a terrible mess and then blames it on the client.

[ollyboro]

They're definitely not Polish cos they've all gone back home to a less fucked country.

Like Phil Collins renouncing his British citizenship via Carrier pigeon and moving to Switzerland to avoid 1) Any danger of appearing at the Nuremberg trials and 2) Avoiding the court order instructing him to provide a Labrador to his blind wife.

[Shit Good Nose]

Like Phil Collins renouncing his British citizenship via Carrier pigeon and moving to Switzerland to avoid 1) Any danger of appearing at the Nuremberg trials and 2) Avoiding the court order instructing him to provide a Labrador to his blind wife.

Phil Collins renounced his British citizenship when he moved to Canada in 1978.

YOUR MOVE SHERLOCK.

[Sebastian Cobb]

If only he did it by getting in grave.

[Shit Good Nose]

If only he did it by getting in grave.

Have you seen him lately?  Your wish may yet come true very soon.

[PlanktonSideburns]

What about joiners?

scaffolders is where i draw the line

[MidnightShambler]

Joiners, sparks, anyone who has an advert or you've been recommended by somebody else, all good. After all, we want more work, if I do a bad job you don't recommend me to your mate and he doesn't to his and before long my phone stops ringing, so it's not in my interests to rob you, is it?

Now, the bloke you meet in the pub who says he'll skim your ceiling for £50 or lay your kitchen floor for a ton, that's when you have to be careful. But that's the same in any walk of life.

Although joiners and sparks are usually chargehands and on that basis complete cunts and I like not to miss an opportunity to point that out.

[touchingcloth]

Joiners, sparks, anyone who has an advert or you've been recommended by somebody else, all good. After all, we want more work, if I do a bad job you don't recommend me to your mate and he doesn't to his and before long my phone stops ringing, so it's not in my interests to rob you, is it?

Now, the bloke you meet in the pub who says he'll skim your ceiling for £50 or lay your kitchen floor for a ton, that's when you have to be careful. But that's the same in any walk of life.

Although joiners and sparks are usually chargehands and on that basis complete cunts and I like not to miss an opportunity to point that out.

In a way one of our worst experiences with a trade was an electrician - not because he did bad work, but because he did great work but was too busy to bother getting certificates over to us afterwards.

Another bad experience wasn't too far off the skimmer-down-the pub analogy: we had a plasterer in when a plumber let us down. The plasterer said "I do a bit of plumbing as well", so because he was decent at the plastering we took a punt. But he was shit at plumbing, to the point that once I was downstairs when he was taking a radiator off in the room above, and suddenly the ceilings started pissing because he hadn't drained the system. I didn't leave a bad review, though - I've been involved in enough hospitality businesses to know that a single bad review can fuck someone, so I just don't review someone if they do a bad job, and would probably only leave a bad one if someone had done a dangerously bad job or made stupid mistakes which cost me a lot.

The plasterer was responsible for one of the funniest things I've heard. Remember when people got excited because they thought CBeebies had made a song with the lyric "fluttering cunt", which was actually "fluttering kite"? Anyway, he said to me "you know them CBeebies? Well they've only gone and made a kids' song using the cunt-word".

[MidnightShambler]

In a way one of our worst experiences with a trade was an electrician - not because he did bad work, but because he did great work but was too busy to bother getting certificates over to us afterwards.

Another bad experience wasn't too far off the skimmer-down-the pub analogy: we had a plasterer in when a plumber let us down. The plasterer said "I do a bit of plumbing as well", so because he was decent at the plastering we took a punt. But he was shit at plumbing, to the point that once I was downstairs when he was taking a radiator off in the room above, and suddenly the ceilings started pissing because he hadn't drained the system. I didn't leave a bad review, though - I've been involved in enough hospitality businesses to know that a single bad review can fuck someone, so I just don't review someone if they do a bad job, and would probably only leave a bad one if someone had done a dangerously bad job or made stupid mistakes which cost me a lot.

The plasterer was responsible for one of the funniest things I've heard. Remember when people got excited because they thought CBeebies had made a song with the lyric "fluttering cunt", which was actually "fluttering kite"? Anyway, he said to me "you know them CBeebies? Well they've only gone and made a kids' song using the cunt-word".

Well you seem like a fair chap but I'd say causing a leak in your ceiling was cause enough for a bad review, even only if it prevents something worse happening the next time a customer takes a 'punt'. Essentially, tradesmen should only perform their own trades, not least cos you're  taking work from somebody else who might need it. The old saying when I started on the building was 'never teach anyone else your trade', for the reason that some cunts will rob your work after picking your brains to find out how it's done.

And the certificate thing sounds to me like he was on the side, quite hard to issue a certificate when you're signing on!

[touchingcloth]

He wasn't signing on, but the job was a foreigner as his main work was Network Rail rather than domestic. We got the paperwork in the end, but it was like pulling teeth.

I'd have reviewed the would-be plumber badly if it wasn't for the fact that the house was a shell at the time, and it didn't cause any lasting damage to anything. Probably should have left a middling review to save other people, though, but I did tell him I just wasn't going to leave a review because of it when he kept texting me to ask me to leave him one, so hopefully that was enough to put him off doing it again.

[Goldentony]

have you got mad underpants or something? fucking get out the house you pervert with your mad underpants man, fucking hell what are you doing

[Ambient Sheep]

Probably should have left a middling review to save other people, though, but I did tell him I just wasn't going to leave a review because of it when he kept texting me to ask me to leave him one...

Cheeky git!

[Old Thrashbarg]

A dissatisfied customer purchased the former website (still referenced on their paperwork) of their awful tradesman: http://brawlinsonelectrical.co.uk (https://web.archive.org/web/20200709231157/http://brawlinsonelectrical.co.uk/ for posterity).

The former owner of this website is an electrician that we hired to rewire our home a few years ago. Our experience was very similar to that described in the linked review, except that we were less accepting of his work, refused to pay the full amount until problems were fixed and certification issued (which never came to pass; his demand before issuing certification was payment in full and a positive review online), and got the trade body he was a member of at the time involved. They sent a third-party electrician out to review the work, found that in addition to the generally shit standard of finish, parts of the wiring were not legal and in a couple of cases actually dangerous. So they kicked him off their books and sent out a decent firm to redo the whole rewire and finish things off properly.

Before we originally hired the cowboy for the job we went through all the online reviews we could find. He came out to give a quote and seemed like a decent person, gave what sounded like good advice, was very accommodating to what we wanted and was generally very friendly. We had no reason not to trust him to do a good job and, given the nature of the work, leaving him to get on with it whilst we moved out for the duration of the job seemed the obvious choice. Though we did still try to go each evening to have a look around and raised our concerns on a couple of occasions, but were given reassurance each time that everything would be sorted. Whether one of us being there at the time would've made a difference, I'm not sure, but it will be a struggle for us to ever allow anyone we're not absolutely sure of to have free reign again.

[touchingcloth]

Cheeky git!

Yep, but I do get it. We've rented our spare room out in the past and I've helped friends out with listing their café online, and you really are desperate for that first review to come in in the early days. He was quite obviously in that first phase of being his own boss, and I'd have had a reaction more like yours if it was an established tradesperson aggressively trying to get more reviews, cf. those eBay sellers who pester you after a purchase.

[idunnosomename]

Would

[ollyboro]

Phil Collins renounced his British citizenship when he moved to Canada in 1978.

YOUR MOVE SHERLOCK.

And why did he move to Canada in 1978? So he could represent Canada in the 1978 Empire Games ( fuck the Commonwealth and the post-Brexit deals awaiting - I'm fucking hardcore - it's the Empire Games) as a flag of
convenience athlete. The cunt. Glad he finished fourth.

[Better Midlands]

Like Phil Collins renouncing his British citizenship via Carrier pigeon and moving to Switzerland to avoid 1) Any danger of appearing at the Nuremberg trials and 2) Avoiding the court order instructing him to provide a Labrador to his blind wife.

If Collins had stayed at home when he got a painter & decorator in the fax machine would (probably) never have been invented.

[Pijlstaart]

Grandfather was a plumber and he'd always get to have sex with the lady of the house, on one occasion he left soot handprints on a schoolchilds arse and had to jump out the window to escape. A ribald and adventurous way of life from a bygone age, they've kept their hands off me for the most part.

If anything I've come to like them. At times they are quadrupedal, a trait sadly lacking amongst white-collar workers, they have the most merry berry ruddy red faces and they spill things down their front. Never had a problem with them stealing. Fucking don't let them into the biscotti though, that's the rich man's food, if they have one they'll have them all.

[MojoJojo]

I had a big extension done and had to move out for a few months, so yeah it's fine. I certainly wouldn't use up all my annual leave on it.

Worse incident was the bloke who did the drive, who was the most Fen man I have ever met, managed to be the first to use the new downstairs loo and left a skidmark.

[peanutbutter]

I'd actively make sure to schedule them at times I'm in work, taking time off seems like an astounding waste of holiday time.

[Huxleys Babkins]

This has been a useful thread so thanks for all your input. We've decided to only be there on the more difficult days where there are going to be a lot of decisions to be made so we don't have to be constantly on the phone and in and out of work. Otherwise, we'll just leave the fuckers to it.

I'm also going to wear all of my partners pants before they arrive so that they are huffing my musk off the gussets rather than hers.

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Just got a text from my wife who stayed off to supervise the plumbers it just says HRLLP