Urban Legends 2020

[spaghetamine]

There was a kid at school who was a bit away to the fairies to say the least and it was rumored that this was due to him as a child having  unknowingly consumed a large amount of mushroom tea his deadbeat hippy dad had left unattended. There were variations on the story that it could have been LSD on fruit pastilles. Reckon this one could be true to be honest, I could definitely see that spannering you for life.

[KennyMonster]

Teacher at school with one eye had put a tab of acid under her eyelid when she was at university and it dissolved her eyeball!!!

Yeah well that doesn't explain her wooden tits though does it?

[notjosh]

A kid at my school got thrown out of chess club for shoving a bishop up each nostril.

Makes sense. That's not a diagonal movement.

[Marner and Me]

The pilot who had taken LSD years ago and nothing had happened then years later whilst flying it kicked in.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

The ten-year-old kid at school who was always violently jerking his head to one side did so as a result of being shot in the neck with a crossbow when he was playing in the park one evening (and not because he had Tourette's/a severe tic).

I used to have a few tics myself (still do) so god knows what stories they told about me.

[Tony Tony Tony]

My fave urban legend is that of the guys who go on holiday back in the days when you got your pics back from the chemist once you were home.

It seems there was a break-in to their hotel room and though stuff got thrown about nothing was taken. They were quite relieved that an expensive camera was still in the room. When they got the holiday photos back there were a couple of extra shots showing the chap who broke in with the chaps toothbrushes shoved business end up his arse.

My ex in-laws had a most annoying friend who would take photos of his todger whenever anyone left a camera unattended. A bit less impact in the days of digital, though the results were more immediate. 

[Gregory Torso]

Guy who stuck an eel up his arse to try and cure his hemorrhoids.

Woman with no feet who haunts the village toilets.

New bus driver starts work, crashes the bus, and they take off his uniform and find out he's a pint of milk.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Then there is the one about the video cover to Disney's Little Mermaid having a phallus hidden in the castle towers drawn by a disgruntled artist.

It seem this isn't true and that it was coincidence but it certainly looks like a cock to me.

[Sebastian Cobb]

This is probably true. I'm sure on a trip to Corfu in the 80s, I was advised to put used bumwad in a little bucket rather than flushing it with your expelled ballast, as the chod bin, and whatever lay beneath couldn't cope. So I imagine a particularly girthsome Richard might need a bit of pre-processing.

In Greece they say the ancient plumbing on a lot of the islands can't cope with it, but it totally wouldn't surprise me if it can and they just don't want pooey bog roll washing up on the beaches and spoiling their reputation as a good holiday destination.

In malta I wasn't sure if I was meant to or not so did it in a cafe to be careful. I found out later Malta is fine for flushing bog roll, and the cafe owner was a bit shifty when we returned. Although I also think he thought my mate and I were a gay couple and was acting a bit funny about that as well.

[tao of wub]

LSD on fruit pastilles

Can you get these on jelly tots?  They sound delicious, but I don't do gelatine.

I have a story, it sounds like an urban legend, but it is verifiably true.  Grim as though.  If any of you request I will post it.

[The Lurker]

Then there is the one about the video cover to Disney's Little Mermaid having a phallus hidden in the castle towers drawn by a disgruntled artist.

It seem this isn't true and that it was coincidence but it certainly looks like a cock to me.

Me and my mates used to love looking up that kind of stuff in ICT at school. Looking up movie/TV urban legends on Snopes, that is, not phalluses.

My personal favourite was the hanging munchkin in the Wizard of Oz. Something that I insisted was true for a long time. The ghost in Three Men in a Baby was another good'un.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Can you actually get a high off of nutmeg?

[steve98]

I believe you can but it's supposed to be quite unpleasant.

We used to smoke cinnamon sticks as kids. Don't know why.

[Sebastian Cobb]

When we were scouts we made rollies out of moss and newspaper.

[Better Midlands]

Crushed up Rennies in my time.

[earl_sleek]

I have a story, it sounds like an urban legend, but it is verifiably true.  Grim as though.  If any of you request I will post it.

Go on then.

[tao of wub]

I remember this well, I lived in Kirkstall at the time and it was a horrific case.  A story of terrible violence and awful excuses.  Don't know what it is about Leeds and Bradford and this sort of thing going on.

Back in the autumn of 2004, a Leeds taxi driver picked up an unusual passenger sporting some striking fresh heavy scratches on his face and travelling with a large bag.  The driver couldn't help but notice that the bag appeared to be leaking blood and was quite smelly.  Hmm.

When he asked about the bag his passenger explained that he had been out shooting and the bag was full of rabbits, which he was taking to dispose of.  The taxi driver happened to shoot and on chatting, was not convinced that his dodgy passenger actually knew anything about it, and became suspicious.

This rum weirdo was also spotted in Woodhouse Ridge, a strip of woodland in the Meanwood valley area, with a large white bloody bag, and a finger nail mauled visage.  Two women were out walking with their babies in prams and he made such an impression on them that one of them commented to the other, "If we hear about a murder we will know who did it", or some such.  They described the stained sack as possibly a duvet cover and heavily bloodstained.

Come the 8th of October 2004 a walker made the grim discovery of a severed leg in Woodhouse Ridge.  That leg was from the hacked up corpse of Ms Lyndsey Bourne, a Leeds street prostitute last seen alive when her friends dropped her off on Sovereign Street, in the city centre on 9th September.

Stuart Burns, a 30 year old painter and decorator handed himself into the police after seeing a photofit of his face, complete with the scratches.  Initially he said that he'd been on a night out, got drunk and got into a row with a lady who'd scratched his face. Trying to explain his behaviour with the red stained baggage, he said he had been helping a friend out with some decorating, taking paint and dust sheets over, but en route he'd decided it was too heavy and dumped it, explaining that the stains were just red paint.

Eventually he changed his story.  He claimed he had met Ms Bourne whilst pissed up and taken her back to his home in Holt park without realising she was a prostitute.  He said she demanded money for sex and then they began fighting when she stole from him.  During this struggle he claimed to have tried to restrain her by the neck, and she then collapsed and died.

Having brutally murdered Ms Bourne, Burns decided the best thing to do was to dismember her in his bath.  Having not bothered to own a car, he though it best to ferry her body in bits, via taxi, carelessly packed in dripping bags, for disposal in the woods.  He then had a clean up and put down laminate flooring and painted inside his house.  Police found blood under this flooring on forensic examination.

I can only imagine what sort of mess he would make doing a painting and decorating job, so it is probably a good thing he got a life sentence at Leeds Crown Court for his cowardly murder.

Interview with the two detectives who led the manhunt, Shaun Bartram and Nick Wallen

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2010/sep/26/police-cases-they-cant-forget

BBC story when the leg had been found but not the killer.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/3990645.stm

BBC story after Burns was brought to justice.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/4386882.stm

So moral of this story, make sure you own a car, a spade and a waterproof holdall don't be a murdering cunt.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

they always go "oh she died by an accident" why did you chop up the body then. stop chopping up the bodies. ring an ambulance and be distraught on the phone.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Yes, bit of a rookie error, the chopping up the body.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I heard the same, except it was a suitcase full of moisturiser

You'll be amazed when you find out the truth about Avon parties

[flotemysost]

Me and my mates used to love looking up that kind of stuff in ICT at school. Looking up movie/TV urban legends on Snopes, that is, not phalluses.

My personal favourite was the hanging munchkin in the Wizard of Oz. Something that I insisted was true for a long time.

There's also the bit in Aladdin where the tiger supposedly growls "Take off your clothes", the priest's raging hardon in The Little Mermaid, the bit in The Lion King where the leaves spell out the word 'SEX', and the Playboy centrefold in The Rescuers (although this was scrubbed from the VHS apparently - I definitely don't remember it).

All have varying degrees of truth to them, discussed at some length in this article.

Three Men in a Baby

Fucking hell, bit much.

[JesusAndYourBush]

There's also the bit in Aladdin where the tiger supposedly growls "Take off your clothes", the priest's raging hardon in The Little Mermaid, the bit in The Lion King where the leaves spell out the word 'SEX', and the Playboy centrefold in The Rescuers (although this was scrubbed from the VHS apparently - I definitely don't remember it).

One thing that's definitely not an urban myth because I remember reading it in the papers is that one of the episodes of Noddy (sometime around the mid 90's) received complaints because in a scene set in a newsagents shop the titles of various top shelf magazines could be seen, with titles like "Lesbians In Rubber".  Presumably the episode was censored in subsequent airings or withdrawn.  I can find nothing on the net about it whatsoever (not even the time I mentioned it on this forum before) but I know I read about it in the papers at the time.

[The Lurker]

Fucking hell, bit much.

Fucks sake. I'm blaming that on auto-correct...!

[notjosh]

Not sure if this is an urban legend exactly, but  I was just thinking about when my Film Studies class did a trip to LA in 2006 and we were told not to wear certain colours as we (17 year old film nerds in Shaun of the Dead t-shirts) might be mistaken for Bloods/Crips and shot on sight by a rival gang member.

[tao of wub]

might be mistaken for Bloods/Crips and shot on sight by a rival gang member.

Its all about the hats these days.

https://unitedgangs.com/2018/12/07/sports-hats-you-should-never-wear-in-los-angeles/

Johnny 2-Hats considers cancelling Kraftwerk Orange's LA gigs

[Bently Sheds]

PopBitch once wrote about the urban legend of "David Beckham Paid For My Mate's Wedding". Which is basically what it says - Beckham wants the mate's venue that they've booked for their wedding for a party for his relative on the same day, so he pays them a vast sum to reschedule. It's always for a mate, or a mate of a mate and - if the teller is a mate of yours - it's never a mate you know.

A while ago I was collared by the office bullshitter who told me about this bloke from his local pub. Now this bloke won the lottery, right? The whole bloody Jackpot, yeah? He bought houses for all his family, right?

Right. For his son's birthday he booked all of Alton Towers for a day so they had the whole place to themselves. A month before the big day, Alton Towers call him and say someone else wants the park and will he cancel? He says no, slams the phone down.
Alton Towers ring back, suggesting another date. He says no, as it's his kid's birthday, slams the phone down.
Alton Towers ring back, someone will pay for them to have another exclusive day at the park. He says no, I'm rich I don't need someone else's money, slams the phone down.
Alton Towers ring back, someone will pay for them to have the park exclusively for the whole weekend, plus accommodation and they will be able to bring as many friends and family as they want - all paid for, including travel costs. So he said yes. Family flew in from Australia they hadn't seen for years. Had a great time.

And d'you know who paid for his weekend at Alton Towers?
Only David blummin' Beckham, mate! Can you believe it?

I said I couldn't - which was the honest truth.

[paruses]

Not sure if this is an urban legend exactly, but  I was just thinking about when my Film Studies class did a trip to LA in 2006 and we were told not to wear certain colours as we (17 year old film nerds in Shaun of the Dead t-shirts) might be mistaken for Bloods/Crips and shot on sight by a rival gang member.

We had a school trip to New York at the end of the 1980s and stayed in Harlem. That same rumour was told then and may even have been addressed in one of the talks we had prior to the trip.

In the end the worst that happened was some youths shouted at us and threw condoms full of piss at us.

Still, better than yet another visit to Crich Tram Museum [nb]although these days I would probably prefer that [/nb]

[Marner and Me]

School trip to NY, flash bastards, we were allowed an hour to Tescos for business studies and a day at Goyt Valley for Geography.

[Icehaven]

Yeah what's all this L.A. and New York business? The best we got was a geography field trip to Nuneaton to map Weddington rd. and count how many people walked past the council house in an hour. Not sure if Nuneaton has chapters of the Bloods or Crips.

[Marner and Me]

Yeah what's all this L.A. and New York business? The best we got was a geography field trip to Nuneaton to map Weddington rd. and count how many people walked past the council house in an hour. Not sure if Nuneaton has chapters of the Bloods or Crips.

You're lucky you didn't run into the Nuneaton Nutterz, or worse, the Nuneaton Ne'er Do Wellz.