Lurching another year closer to the abyssal yawn

[H-O-W-L]

At 15:25PM on this day, July 17th, 1994, in a room about 15 feet from where I currently sit, I was born.
I'd like to take the chance to finally apologize for this.

[pancreas]

Hi. First of all congratulations on being younger than almost all of us.

As a treat, please feel free to list all of your unfulfilled wishes, both that you hold now, currently, and any of those for which you have no reasonable hope of fulfilling at any point in the future. Thanks.

[H-O-W-L]

Hi. First of all congratulations on being younger than almost all of us.

As a treat, please feel free to list all of your unfulfilled wishes, both that you hold now, currently, and any of those for which you have no reasonable hope of fulfilling at any point in the future. Thanks.

Kick goose in arse
Kick heron in arse
Kick giraffe in arse
Kick hippo in mouth (as a treat)
Kick gorilla in arse
Have funeral for self (eaten by gorilla, coffin full of poo)
Thanks.

[Ray Travez]

I'd like to take the chance to finally apologize for this.

No need. You should probably pay for that door you kicked in though ;)

Happy birthday!

[Butchers Blind]

Enjoy.  Its all downhill now.

[Retinend]

Happy birthday! :)

[Icehaven]

How can anyone only just have been being born in 1994? That's ridiculous, you missed everything good. At least there's the internet so you can see why anyone used to bother.

[Buelligan]

Hope your nascent day is sprinkled with fairy dust, scented petals, effervescing mirth and dancing kittens.  There, I've said it.

[BlodwynPig]

A week too late to see the greatest bald man goal in World Cup history

[The Mollusk]

I remember when I turned 26. I was so naive, I had so much to learn. I looked in the mirror and I said to myself, "I bet it never gets any better than this." And you know what? I was right.

[Chedney Honks]

26 was one of the best years of my life, I reckon. Enjoy it bro!

[Dex Sawash]

Have a happy birthday howl.
Have a happy birthday, howl.

[Pingers]

26 was the year I took the most drugs, I think. So do that maybe.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I seem to remember my 26th year as being a year of advanced and fully comprehensive sex in which I existed in a state of near-permanent engorgment.

[shiftwork2]

26 and he/she is worried about being old.  How cute.

Having said that, I had a massive issue with turning 23 for some reason.  I was in a proper funk for days.  I refused to be 23, or I would have done had it been possible.

[the]

At 15:25PM on this day, July 17th, 1994, in a room about 15 feet from where I currently sit, I was born.
I'd like to take the chance to finally apologize for this.

You were born in a year when there was a load of good comedy on the telly. And look at the state of it now. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Having said that, I had a massive issue with turning 23 for some reason.  I was in a proper funk for days.  I refused to be 23, or I would have done had it been possible.

I had that as well (or maybe it was 22). There was no 'enabling' age to move up to anymore, it felt like a downhill slide from there. What a tit. Still, it's a good reminder of how ludicrous you are when you're young.

Not making any promises, but a theme that often turns up in these age discussions is that your thirties turn out to be more fun and happier than your twenties, was certainly true in my case.

[bgmnts]

Penblywdd Hapus!

[JaDanketies]

When I was 26 I made some massive changes to my life. Your brain apparently stops developing when you're 25 so this is about as biologically grown-up as you're ever gonna get. Afterwards you'll just get more jaded / wise / whatever. Because you're also totally finished developing, this is the safest time to start doing drugs. Nobody gets schizophrenia from smoking weed or dropping acid after age 25. (I take no liability for that statement).

When I was 26, I:

• dumped my abusive ex
• quit my scammy job
• donated a kidney to some rando

[dr beat]

Too late for The Day Today but in time for The Fast Show.

[the]

Your brain apparently stops developing when you're 25 so this is about as biologically grown-up as you're ever gonna get. Afterwards you'll just get more jaded / wise / whatever.

... "Desmond Morris, who died today."

[JaDanketies]

Too late for The Day Today but in time for The Fast Show.

Harry Enfield and Chums too

[El Unicornio, mang]

26 and he/she is worried about being old.  How cute.

Yeah but we'll be saying "50 and he/she is worried about being old" when we're in our 70s

[H-O-W-L]

Harry Enfield and Chums too

I actually had a video tape of Harry Enfield and Chums that I remember watching when I was like... five? four? Far, far too young to be watching it. I didn't understand any of it until I was much older. I do remember loving "Il Postino Pat" at that age, though -- probably because I was a dark little shit.  No idea how old I really was, but definitely too young to watch HE&C.

Still love "Il Postino Pat".

Thanks for all your well-wishes, you shower of cunts (<3). I'm going to get smashed (responsibly and by staying home with a bottle of Johnnie Walker and my back to the radiator) today.

[shiftwork2]

Yeah but we'll be saying "50 and he/she is worried about being old" when we're in our 70s

True.  Doesn't bother me personally as thanks to a few midnight deals at the crossroads earlier on in my life I am going to be immortal.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

At 15:25PM on this day, July 17th, 1994, in a room about 15 feet from where I currently sit, I was born.
I'd like to take the chance to finally apologize for this.

Happy birthday deary. I don't get it though. Were you a home birth, or are you currently sat in the labour ward of a hospital?

[H-O-W-L]

Happy birthday deary. I don't get it though. Were you a home birth, or are you currently sat in the labour ward of a hospital?

I was a home birth. Same home I now occupy (again, after a period of being away).

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Must have made an awful mess of the carpet.

[H-O-W-L]

Must have made an awful mess of the carpet.

Shat it.

[paruses]

What was that about a kidney?

[JaDanketies]

What was that about a kidney?

I donated it to some rando, I've only got one now. A non-directed altruistic kidney donation. Dined on that for years. Sometimes people come up to me all these years later to talk about how great I am. "Hey JaDanketies, I've just been talking to my mate here about what you did.... y'know, the kidney..."