Author Topic: Oh Rishi!  (Read 3504 times)

Sebastian Cobb

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Oh Rishi!
« on: July 18, 2020, 02:09:08 PM »
State of this client journalism. Have The Times started employing people that worked for Smash Hits?


Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2020, 02:12:47 PM »
Oh Rishi, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my preconceptions about Oxbridge-educated investment bankers for Goldman Sachs.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2020, 02:14:31 PM »
Just print a picture of you sucking his cock, alleged "journalist".

tao of wub

  • Bollox all the way down they tell me
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2020, 02:19:27 PM »
This belongs in the Desolation threads?  Can't believe news has come to this.  Sickening the state of it.

Barry Admin

  • Fuck your shit tea
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2020, 02:25:42 PM »
"How did he tilt his head to mirror the precise angle of the dog's?

They're not even nearly the same angle, you weird cunt.

Nor do they have the same brows or knitwear. What is this fucking shit?

Kelvin

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Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2020, 02:27:44 PM »
While this is truly, genuinely sickening, he does look sexy pumping that super soaker.


Barry Admin

  • Fuck your shit tea
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2020, 02:28:08 PM »
"He cooks. Of course he cooks."

He's just carrying two plates. Do waiters fucking cook as well?

madhair60

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Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2020, 02:29:04 PM »
can't really see this guy delivering the stinkface

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2020, 02:29:13 PM »
This belongs in the Desolation threads?  Can't believe news has come to this.  Sickening the state of it.

The Mirror had a "news" story about a contestant on the Chase (loads of news stories about game shows recently)..

paraphrasing :

"Fans go wild over blonde haired police trainee after her appearance on The Chase"

"The episode....which was a repeat"

"(Blonde Woman's Name) and won 400 pounds in the questions round to the delight of fans but went home early as she was knocked out by the Chaser..."

"That didn't stop fans from heading to Twitter in their droves to heap praise on *name* and not just for her question answering ability..."

"Ned said "Cor blimey, she's a stunner alright"

"Brian chipped in "young, blonde, sexy ... and brainy...what more could a guy ask for"

*Blodwyn retires to the study, unlocks the rifle cabinet case and slumps into his favourite leather chair*

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2020, 02:36:34 PM »
OH GO ON THEN I'LL SHAG HIM

pigamus

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Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2020, 02:50:54 PM »
So even if the Tories get rid of Johnson this is what we've got to look forward to instead. I think I'll be getting my revolver as well.

Kelvin

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Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2020, 02:54:44 PM »
Prime Rimister.

tao of wub

  • Bollox all the way down they tell me
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2020, 02:57:11 PM »
What depths next?

An in depth on Priti Patel where she shows us how to tie her favourite nooses?

"Pretty Priti gets all hot and bothered up as she tells us about her plans to legalise the lynching of suspected illegal immigrants"

"I dream of gibbets every night, there is nothing more exciting to me" our sexiest Home Secretary breathlessly purred to our reporter, giving him a sultry wink.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2020, 05:39:24 PM »
This is a spoof, right?

Uncle TechTip

  • You won, get over it
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2020, 05:44:02 PM »
The Mirror had a "news" story about a contestant on the Chase (loads of news stories about game shows recently)..

paraphrasing :

"Fans go wild over blonde haired police trainee after her appearance on The Chase"

"The episode....which was a repeat"

"(Blonde Woman's Name) and won 400 pounds in the questions round to the delight of fans but went home early as she was knocked out by the Chaser..."

"That didn't stop fans from heading to Twitter in their droves to heap praise on *name* and not just for her question answering ability..."

"Ned said "Cor blimey, she's a stunner alright"

"Brian chipped in "young, blonde, sexy ... and brainy...what more could a guy ask for"

*Blodwyn retires to the study, unlocks the rifle cabinet case and slumps into his favourite leather chair*

Clicked it though, didn't you. And that's the point.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2020, 06:15:44 PM »
What depths next?

An in depth on Priti Patel where she shows us how to tie her favourite nooses?

"Pretty Priti gets all hot and bothered up as she tells us about her plans to legalise the lynching of suspected illegal immigrants"

"I dream of gibbets every night, there is nothing more exciting to me" our sexiest Home Secretary breathlessly purred to our reporter, giving him a sultry wink.
God I miss Viz

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2020, 06:29:34 PM »
This is a spoof, right?
i think it's supposed to be a bit of a joke but i cant imagine them doing it with a corbynite. jess phillips on the other hand

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2020, 07:29:03 PM »
Clicked it though, didn't you. And that's the point.

I only clicked it as The Chase has almost daily shit popping up on Apple News recommendations and I finally caved to see what the fuss was about... its not like they are selling something?

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2020, 07:44:43 PM »
Keir or Rishi?

Offered without further comment.

chveik

  • I feel like swimmin' in rat piss
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2020, 07:55:57 PM »
I only clicked it as The Chase has almost daily shit popping up on Apple News recommendations and I finally caved to see what the fuss was about... its not like they are selling something?

clicks = money

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2020, 08:00:49 PM »
Keir or Rishi?

Offered without further comment.

Clicks = Dicks

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #21 on: July 18, 2020, 11:03:43 PM »
clicks with dicks

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2020, 11:14:29 PM »
UK journalism in The Times, you say? Holy fuck.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2020, 11:24:03 PM »
Extremely disappointed that this isn’t about him falling face-first onto a TV studio floor.

Kryton

  • Disregard the Constabulary
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2020, 11:36:35 PM »
Not sure if I can take the photograph labelled 'family water fight' as gospel.
There's nobody else in the picture.
Maybe he just likes running around squirting things, having the sounds of excited children pumped through some decent sized speakers.

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2020, 11:48:58 PM »
Keir Rishi
Wasn't he the big lad who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin?

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #26 on: July 19, 2020, 12:36:54 AM »
Went to the pub (a spoons) earlier and saw this monstrosity:



Burn it to the ground

Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2020, 12:44:28 AM »
Burn it to the ground

Or maybe don't go to it?

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #28 on: July 19, 2020, 12:47:17 AM »
Oh Rishi.  You came and you took without giving.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Oh Rishi!
« Reply #29 on: July 19, 2020, 01:07:48 AM »
Went to the pub (a spoons) earlier and saw this monstrosity:



Burn it to the ground
fuk yea

glug it down you fucking proles

glug down the cheap booze brought to you by bojo's brexit gubmint

glug it all it's so cheap cheap as the supermarket so you won't notice the tax increases to pay for the massive covid cockup

glug it down while the nhs is sold off under your noses

glug it till you puke "corbyn was a commie" all over the road then choke on what's left while an ambulance takes forever to get there

glug glug glug and piss "num num good bootlick" all down your own leg

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