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Need help testing my new speedboat game on N64

Started by Bazooka, July 18, 2020, 09:34:56 PM

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Bazooka

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on July 20, 2020, 12:03:43 PM
I completed the Hard level and now all of the boats have turned into cars. Specifically, the 1990 Lincoln Town Car.

Is this expected behaviour? I wouldn't mind so much, but they aren't sea-faring so they instantly sink to the bottom and you drown.

Ah were the race arrows pointing in the wrong direction?  I think you went around the course the wrong way, which misaligned the vehicular models of the cars with the boats.

Edit: Hotfix the arrows to point the correct way.

Replies From View

oh no does this game have race arrows?  in this day and age?



Bazooka

Quote from: Replies From View on July 20, 2020, 04:06:20 PM
oh no does this game have race arrows?  in this day and age?

Yes, they make use of the current generation 64bit hardware, and the cartridge format means you don't need to have individual loading screens for each race arrow like you would on other systems.

Replies From View

oh no no no!   aaarrgh



i can no longer put my support behind the testing stages of this game; i am sorry about that

Fambo Number Mive

Might want to check whether the voiceover artist is actually called Peter Jizzsprayer. Aside from that, the credits look ok


Replies From View

there are huge huge gaps in all the code for this

Dex Sawash


Bazooka

10/10, "Finally a speed boat game that takes things seriously" - Nintendo Power Magazine

10/10, "A Maritime Masterpiece"- Smash Hits Magazine

10/10, "Something to really sink your teeth into, poetic and tangible" -Monty Don, Gardener's World Magazine

What keys you need to press to control speeb boat on Ncommodore 64?

popcorn

is it coming out on Dreamcast and if so does it have updated graphics?

Fambo Number Mive

When you complete level 4 instead of music it is the sound of two middle aged men from Glasgow farting into a trumpet. Which is nice but people might prefer music.


Gregory Torso

Log of glitches in demo SPEDBORT 2020:


Doctor Echidna clearly says "beep beep, cunt" when overtaking players. Indeed, it is much louder than all other sounds in the game.

Spedborts are available in magenta at the start menu but if this colour is selected your character appears naked, hovering over the water with the word 'IDIOT' over its head.

BIDEN 2020 scrolls eternally during the Hymnal Forest Dash.

Spedbort explodes when it hits a duckling but nothing happens when it rams the main tower of the Humber Bridge?

cannot unlock Feargal Sharkey in the pub urinals.


idunnosomename

The multiplayer mode doesnt work because i dont have any friends :(

Quote from: idunnosomename on July 21, 2020, 11:27:21 AM
The multiplayer mode doesnt work because i dont have any friends :(

Never mind. One day they'll likely invent some sort of "dreamed cast" which will allow you to play video games with some of the worst people on the planet.

Bazooka

Quote from: Gregory Torso on July 21, 2020, 10:25:54 AM
Log of glitches in demo SPEDBORT 2020:



BIDEN 2020 scrolls eternally during the Hymnal Forest Dash.



The N64 uses GPS,so the game noticed you were in a strong Biden voting parish, so it displays political messages based on what would be most suitable for your area.

dissolute ocelot

Will there be a realtime freighter simulator mode where you have to sail from Immingham to Klang in a realtime 12 week voyage?

Bazooka

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on July 21, 2020, 01:12:58 PM
Will there be a realtime freighter simulator mode where you have to sail from Immingham to Klang in a realtime 12 week voyage?

You will be happy to know it's in there, but you have to unlock Freighter Mode, to do so you have to beat the game on normal, and then select Michael Portillo as your boat master, and place 1st in every Grand Prix race.

Ferris

A drunken David dimbleby crashed his canal boat into me on the shropshire-union canal (I was also in a canal boat).

What will this (true) anecdote get me in terms of free goodies?

kittens

so i got out my boat and got a job at a building society in halifax (NOT HALIFAX BUILDING SOCIETY) and i was working there for 12 years could do the job with my eyes closed. anyway they hired this young lady and i got fired for "harassing" her? when i only sent her a few emails? seems pretty unforgiving. felt like a slap in the face after all my support for this game. will this be fixed before release?

Quote from: kittens on July 22, 2020, 02:44:35 PM
so i got out my boat and got a job at a building society in halifax (NOT HALIFAX BUILDING SOCIETY) and i was working there for 12 years could do the job with my eyes closed. anyway they hired this young lady and i got fired for "harassing" her? when i only sent her a few emails? seems pretty unforgiving. felt like a slap in the face after all my support for this game. will this be fixed before release?

Kirsty at the building society prefers to be romanced in the more traditional way; flirting at the water cooler, bring her coffee and cake to her desk, cheeky snog on the works night out. Her previous boyfriend sent her vile, abusive messages and leaked her nudes and sexts when they split up so she does have an aversion to online flirting.

But don't lose hope. Her ex is the champion of the Ouse Grand Prix, so if you challenge him and win on at least Medium difficulty, she'll see you in a new light and petition HR to give you your job back.

popcorn

I pledged £90 to the Kickstarter, is this game ever coming out? scam

Ferris

I got a kickstarter email update in April, to be honest it sounds like they smegged the budget on anus-rendering. Probably won't see the light of day now.

popcorn


Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on August 27, 2020, 02:10:50 AM
but the stretch goals...

Sadly, these minigames were the reason for the additional rendering budget. Oh, Icarus.

Bazooka

Hi supporters, sorry for the slow news day, am I right lol? After our intensive alpha,beta,Charlie testing phases, we found where the major glitches and splitches were, and have made some major updates:

-Added 570 speedboat models to unlock, all with pre rendered hulls and flesh like boat masters
-Meat Mode
-Organic screams
-Stereoscopic rumbles
-87bit water spray
-Bio graphics
-Racially profiled multiplayer matchmaking

We are now on track for retail release in the fall or Autumn Q3. EA have scrapped the release of the new FIFA game, because it was due to release the same time as this.


popcorn