The big stupid Doctor Who companion face-mashing project

[Mister Six]

Which film?

Asking for... a friend?

[daf]

My girlfriend texted me last night specifically to tell me she was watching a film featuring Mary Tamm in the nude.

COR!!!!!!!

[JesusAndYourBush]

Which film?

Asking for... a friend?

According to nudography... The Odessa File (1974) & Tales That Witness Madness (1975).

[purlieu]

Tales That Witness Madness (1975).

That's the one.

[daf]

Oh, I actually thought your girlfriend was watching a film in the nude! Doh!

My girlfriend texted me last night specifically to tell me she was watching a film featuring Mary Tamm in the nude.

Still, . . . 

~ (gives the old monocle a polish) ~

[Mister Six]

Get ready, Norton Canes!

THE DAVISON COMPANIONS

Round one: Nyssa and Tegan
Nyssa, with a face like an angel.


Tegan, with a face line an angel who's just licked piss off a nettle.


Negan, a much less scary proposition than her Walking Dead namesake.




Round two: Turlogh and Kamelion
Turlogh, looking intense.


Kamelion, looking kind of fucked up because the AI didn't quite understand his face. This was the best I could manage.


Turmelion, feeling a little blue (I had other, less weirdly hued source pics of Turlough, but this one turned out the best).




Round three: THE ULTIMATE DAVISON COMPANION (bollocks to Adric)




Star Trek crossover? Great cheekbones.

[Mister Six]

BONUS CONTENT: NIGHTMARE TURLOUGH

Turlough's head was at an odd angle in the source pic and I forgot to re-orient it before upload on my first try,[nb]Also forgot to flip the head - I'm going to have everyone facing left from now on to minimise weird eyes.[/nb] so the AI went a bit loopy.


Sleep well!

[daf]

Love that - could be a Big Finish cover!

This'd be called 'The Android Inversion' I think

(Plot : Dr Who goes off for a long piss in the Zero Room while Turlough and Kamelion swap bodies. Cliffhanger to part 1 : Turlough's face drops off - SKREEOOWWW!!!)

[Mister Six]

Right, the next few have only a couple of companions each, so I'm going to do a few together.

THE ULTIMATE COLIN BAKER COMPANION
Lovely Peri, looking a bit pouty.


Poor Mel. This isn't the most flattering picture, but it's the one that artbreeder had the least trouble with (her mass of hair was very confusing, apparently)


Meet Meri. She'll fucking chin you.




THE ULTIMATE MCCOY COMPANION
Once again, apologies to Bonnie Langford.


It's Ace! She was "my" companion, growing up.


Enter Mace, rocking her half-sister's sinister vibe.




THE ULTIMATE MCGANN COMPANION
Dr Grace Holloway. Look at that jawline! They knew how to build women in the 1990s.


Chang Lee, who helped out the seventh and eighth Doctors (with, admittedly, a bit of a wobble in the middle) and is therefore a companion. SO MOTE IT BE!


Chace Leeway. Terrible name, amazing cheekbones.





THE ULTIMATE SPARE COMPANION
BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT! K-9 enters the arena, and gets a bit melted by the very confused AI.


Lee Clayton, secret companion to Ruth Doctor.


Lee K-ton, looking a bit like a rubber rainbow Tom Hardy.


Next: I try to get Artbreeder to accept images of John Barrowman, who is seemingly too handsome to be uploaded properly.

[Mister Six]

But first!

BONUS CONTENT: THE HORROR OF LEE K-TON

Here's what happens if you have the "face" slider all the way to Lee and the "style" slider all the way to K-9:



And here's what happens if you have maximum K-9 face and maximum Lee Clayton style:

[daf]

Oi - Who let Turlough back in!!

[Mister Six]

Aw, come on, he's better looking than that!

[Gurke and Hare]

Mace has got a look of Liz Shaw about her.

[Mister Six]

Welcome to the distant future of 2005...

THE ULTIMATE ECCLESTON COMPANION

Round one: Rose and Mickey
Ah, Rose! Remember her? I'm astonished we were allowed to forget, actually.


Mickey, from his later "hard soldier" iteration.


It's Ricki, with some serious Frida Kahlo vibes.




Round two: Adam and Captain Jack
It's Adam! Hooray?


For some reason artbreeder couldn't handle John Barrowman's face (it just transformed him into a different handsome man), so this is the best I could do for Captain Jack.


It's... Jaadam?




THE ULTIMATE ECCLESTON COMPANION




Well he's not hideous, I guess, so that's nice. Christ, who does he look like? It's killing me.

[Phil_A]

But first!

BONUS CONTENT: THE HORROR OF LEE K-TON

Here's what happens if you have the "face" slider all the way to Lee and the "style" slider all the way to K-9:



And here's what happens if you have maximum K-9 face and maximum Lee Clayton style:

Charlie Brooker!

[Ambient Sheep]

Ricki, and to a lesser degree The Ultimate Eccleston Companion, remind me of Carlos Valdes ("Cisco" in The Flash).

[Mister Six]

I think he's reminding me of Siddig el Fadil, but I think it's mostly the eyes.

[Ambient Sheep]

I see what you mean.  He and Carlos' bastard lovechild, perhaps.

[Mister Six]

BECAUSE NO ONE DEMANDED IT!

THE ULTIMATE TENNANT COMPANION

Round one: Rose and Martha
Rose. Sank.


Martha. It was really hard to get a proper promo pic where they hadn't overlit her massively and made her look whiter than she is.


Rartha! Lip-lickin' good.




Round two: Donna and Wilf
BEST COMPANION


OTHER BEST COMPANION


LOGICALLY THE BESTEST COMPANION




Round three: Astrid vs Jackson Lake
Astrid Perth (nee Astrid Erinsborough)


Jackson Lake


The New Adventures of Young Liberace




Round four: Lady Christina de Souza vs Adelaide Brooke
Woah-woah-woah she's a Lady:


What is it with Australian place names?


Cobie Smulders?!




Round five: Rartha vs BESTEST COMPANION


Inb4 Nicholas Lyndhurst LOL






Round seven: Liberace vs Cobie








THE ULTIMATE TENNANT COMPANION




Hello, generic human! Doing some generic human things?

[daf]

". . . Jackson Lake is currently appearing in 'The Spandau Ballet Story' at the Old Vic"

[Ferris]

This thread is good

[Mister Six]

Cheers, Ferris!

". . . Jackson Lake is currently appearing in 'The Spandau Ballet Story' at the Old Vic"

The collar definitely gives a panto vibe to Young Liberace too.

[Malcy]

Oh Rartha, lovely lovely Rartha!

[Mister Six]

THE ULTIMATE SMITH COMPANION

Round one: Amy and Rory
Artbreeder seemed to really hate both Amy's and Rory's faces.


Arthur Darville's big eyes kept triggering the AI's anime filters or something.


Presenting Army. :(




Round two: River and Clara
River, with a touch of the Alan Davieses.


Clara. Ish.


Cliver. At least she looks human.




Round three: Craig vs Handles
As annoying as Corden is, I did like Craig.


This is the best the AI could make of Handles. Bit Gigery.


Greasy lad.




Round four: Cliver vs Greasy lad




Owns a farm. Wears a wax jacket.




Round five: THE ULTIMATE SMITH COMPANION




Oh.

[Mister Six]

THE ULTIMATE CAPALDI COMPANION

Round one: Clara and Danny
Here's Clazza.


Here's her psychologically abusive and controlling boyfriend.


Here's Dara.




Round two: Lucy from Dr Mysterio and Nardole
It's Lucy! You remember her! Right?


Nardole!


Lardy. Just shave it all off mate. You're bald, accept it.




Round three: Bill and Missy
SECOND BEST COMPANION!


In another universe, we got two more seasons of these guys. :(


Trouble at t'Mill. Actually, she looks ace.




Round four: Dara and Lardy








Round five: THE ULTIMATE CAPALDI COMPANION

[Mister Six]

THE ULTIMATE WHITTAKER COMPANION

Round one: Graham and Grace
ARE GRAHAM.


Not-so-amazing Grace.


It's really hard to make a compound name out of "Graham" and "Grace", you know. So they shall be known as ACE HAM.




Round two: Ryan and Yaz
Ryan. He's so boring I actually forgot his name just then.


What's it like being so redundant, Yaz?


Ryaz. Seems nice.




Round three: THE ULTIMATE WHITTAKER COMPANION






Next up: THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR WHO COMPANION! (Probably coming tomorrow.)

[Mister Six]

The moment you've all been waiting for, because that's how linear time works!

THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR WHO COMPANION

Round one: Hartnell's and Troughton's
Hartnell's ultimate companion:


Troughton's ultimate companion:


Exciting stuff so far!




Round two: Pertwee's and the bonus companion
Pertwee's ultimate companion:


I'm still choosing to believe that Jo Martin's Doctor is Doc 2.5 or the 14th Doctor and the Timeless Child is a dreadful bait and switch. And I'll choose to believe it no matter what future episodes say.


Sassy bastard!




Round three: Tom's and Davison's
Mad Tom's ultimate companion:


Davison's ultimate companion:


Hope those cheekbones stick around in the long run.




Round four: Colin's and McCoy's
Colin Baker's ultimate companion:


McCoy's ultimate companion:


Still looking a bit mean.




Round five: McGann's and Eccleston's
McGann's ultimate companion:


Eccleston's ultimate companion:







Round six: Tennant's and Smith's
Tennant's ultimate companion:


Smith's ultimate companion:






Round seven: Capaldi's and Whittaker's
Capaldi's ultimate companion:


Whittaker's ultimate companion:






Round eight: Hartnell/Troughton and Bonus/Pertwee








Round nine: Tom/Davison and Colin/McCoy




Is Sophie Aldred re-emerging?




Round ten: McGann/Eccleston and Tennant/Smith (and Capaldi/Whittaker)
McGann/Eccleston


Tennant/Smith


Combo:


Capaldi/Whittaker:


All three together:





Fuck me, I'm losing track now.

Round eleven: Docs 1-3/Bonus and Docs 4-7
Docs 1-3/Bonus


Docs 4-7


Combo:




Round twelve: THIS IS IT! THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR WHO COMPANION!
Docs 1-7/Bonus


Docs 8-13


THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR WHO COMPANION!


WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

This was definitely worth everyone's time! Amazing scenes here. Thanks so much for coming with me on this incredible journey. Please consider sponsoring my Patreon.

[daf]

Superb work - That certainly deserves a badge for mathematical excellence!

- - - - - - - - -
(now, how about one for showrunners! - Barry Letts + Terrance Dicks etc . . .)

[Mister Six]

Are you joking? Because I'm almost tempted by that.

[daf]

Well, I was joking, but . . . I would love to see the mad results!

Having looked into it, due to the imbalance of numbers, I think the easiest way of doing it (if you fancy it) would be, to face-mash the producers and script editors separately, and then combine - something like this for the classic series . . .

Producers
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sydney Newman + Verity Lambert (1963-1965)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
John Wiles (1965–1966) + Innes Lloyd (1966–1967)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Peter Bryant (1968–1969) + Derrick Sherwin (1969–1970)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Barry Letts (1970–1975) + Philip Hinchcliffe (1975–1977)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Graham Williams (1977–1980) + John Nathan-Turner (1980–1989)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Script editors
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
David Whitaker (1963–1964) + Dennis Spooner (1964–1965)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Donald Tosh (1965–1966) + Gerry Davis (1966–1967)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Peter Bryant (1967–1968) + Victor Pemberton (1967) **
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Terrance Dicks (1968–1974) + Robert Holmes (1974–1977)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Anthony Read (1977–1979) + Douglas Adams (1979–1980)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Christopher H. Bidmead (1980–1981) + Antony Root (1981–1982)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Eric Saward (1982–1986) + Andrew Cartmel (1987–1989)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
** (I removed Derrick Sherwin from his pre-Terrance position - mainly to make the pairings fit without having to resort to bunging Ian Levine in. Plus he's also on the producers list - so it avoids mash-buggering double-dippage)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No pressure though, and feel free to ignore all that - particularly as it may be impossible to find a decent pic of some of them.