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Any cunt going on holiday?

Started by poo, July 20, 2020, 05:01:04 PM

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Cuntbeaks

This thread is full of campsite chutneys, wild camping or GTFO.

bgmnts

Who exactly do you ask permission from if you set up a tent in a random part of a hillside or something? That seems like the biggest barrier to wild camping.

That and the paralysing fear of being alone in a tent in the middle of the night surrounded by people of the night and foul beasts.

Cuntbeaks

Quote from: bgmnts on July 22, 2020, 02:32:30 PM
Who exactly do you ask permission from if you set up a tent in a random part of a hillside or something? That seems like the biggest barrier to wild camping.

That and the paralysing fear of being alone in a tent in the middle of the night surrounded by people of the night and foul beasts.

In Scotland, as long as you aren't being a massive bell-end, you can camp pretty much anywhere. Nocturnal surprise bummings are optional.

The wild shitting part sounds quite unpleasant. Do you clean yourself with leaves? Toilet paper and then put it in a carrier bag to dispose of later? Shit and then jump into a lake to act as a giant bidet (if you splash vigorously and also happen to be by a lake)? Do you hold it in until you're somewhere civilised enough to have a toilet (thus negating the smug wildman appeal)?

Lots of questions, mate.

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: Blue Jam on July 22, 2020, 10:46:29 AM
Has anyone managed to get a haircut recently, and if do, what did your hairdresser talk to you about?
Thankfully so, and he knows I don't like casual conversation so my hair was cut in lovely silence except for some 70s music compilation in the background.

As for holidays, I'm off to visit my folks in 10 days for a week, if that counts. Hoping the weather is OK (slim odds) as I really want to get out into some open spaces for a bit of walking with the old man. Plus there's some old coal mine relics just outside town, at a place called Saltom Bay, that I've wanted to visit for years but never got round to.

NattyDread 2

Quote from: thelittlemango on July 22, 2020, 03:36:11 PM
Toilet paper and then put it in a carrier bag to dispose of later?

If the arseholes around here are anything to go by, you just leave it all lying around with the rest of your abandoned gubbins. I'd heartily recommend avoiding the Isle of Skye just now. Can't move for cunts.

We wanted to go to Harris but the ferries are only on restricted capacity. Might camp in the garden.

Icehaven

Quote from: Blue Jam on July 22, 2020, 10:46:29 AM
Has anyone managed to get a haircut recently, and if do, what did your hairdresser talk to you about?

I've cut my own hair for years now but the last time I had a haircut my hairdresser spent the entire time talking to the customer in the next chair because they were both American. I was immensely grateful as having to talk to the hairdresser, as well as staring at myself in a huge mirror for half an hour, is the main reason I don't go anymore.

Icehaven

Quote from: Cuntbeaks on July 22, 2020, 01:19:21 PM
This thread is full of campsite chutneys, wild camping or GTFO.

Would love to but you can't do it in England or Wales, and Scotland is a looooong way away.


Small Man Big Horse

Mrs SMBH is moving from her parents house near Stevenage to a flat in Stevenage, so it looks like I may be having a week's holiday in Stevenage soon, though I'm not telling anyone due to the jealousy factor.

Ferris

Sort of written off any expectation of holidays for 2020 really. Maybe an afternoon or two by the beach if we can borrow a car.

Fambo Number Mive

Thread title could be one of the rejected Thomas Cook billboard slogans

PlanktonSideburns


Cuntbeaks

Quote from: thelittlemango on July 22, 2020, 03:36:11 PM
The wild shitting part sounds quite unpleasant. Do you clean yourself with leaves? Toilet paper and then put it in a carrier bag to dispose of later? Shit and then jump into a lake to act as a giant bidet (if you splash vigorously and also happen to be by a lake)? Do you hold it in until you're somewhere civilised enough to have a toilet (thus negating the smug wildman appeal)?

Lots of questions, mate.

An alfresco evacuation is an invigorating bonus of a wild camp. Leaves, grass, toilet paper, whatever takes your fancy. Dig a wee hole, plant your man egg and cover back over.

bgmnts

Shitting in a wood is indeed very invigorating, I will say.

Chedney Honks

I once shit in the ocean and it is followed me 😒😒😒

DrGreggles


shiftwork2

And your wife, is she going to the West Indies?

poo

Just came back to laugh at the British Spain cunts.

Dyl Spinks

I had a week in Tuscany (Lucca, Firenze, Pisa) from the 12th - 19th, and it was amazing.

Uncle TechTip

Some twat on the news - a young fellow too - "i went for what i thought would be a relaxing break to Barcelona - come back to this - it's just making me incredibly anxious". Was this not a reasonable expectation once they started to ease lockdown? Did you not factor this into your plans when you booked your selfish holiday? Did you think everything has gone away? Fuck, this man made me angry.

Captain Z

^ Yeah. All these people going 'ooh my job is at risk if I'm forced to self-isolate', well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? The virus and the rules are changing on a daily basis, if you really can't get through a pandemic without a holiday then that's the risk you take.

SpiderChrist

Brother-in-law now in Turkey, as are my neice and her hubby. Part of me is hoping that the government reintroduce quarantine like they did for Spain.

Cloud

I guess these are mostly people who think it's "just the flu" or only kills off old people or whatever, but I honestly can't imagine feeling at all safe enough on a holiday to enjoy it.  They're meant to be relaxing but I'd probably come back more stressed from trying to stay away from everyone.

Bazooka

You also end up with a massive tan line covering the entire lower part of your face.

Pink Gregory

Going to stay on a grounded boat on a nature reserve in Carmarthenshire.

Just us and the biiiiirds I hope

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on July 26, 2020, 12:31:19 PM
Some twat on the news - a young fellow too - "i went for what i thought would be a relaxing break to Barcelona - come back to this - it's just making me incredibly anxious". Was this not a reasonable expectation once they started to ease lockdown? Did you not factor this into your plans when you booked your selfish holiday? Did you think everything has gone away? Fuck, this man made me angry.

I don't blame him, to be honest, nor anyone else that's booked a holiday in good faith. The government were so desperate to get the airlines going again, tourist boards willing to do anything to get the punters back in and the media so happy to tell the world we could go back to normality, that a lot of people thought they could book without a care in the world. The possible downsides weren't broadcast loudly enough in the mainstream media for people to make an informed decision.

I spent a lot of time at work trying to get my staff on board with the idea that things are absolutely not back to normal and that any holiday they book is at their own risk. Making it very clear that the company isn't liable for any loss of earnings and that unauthorised absence due to quarantine would not be paid and may lead to disciplinary action.

Did it make any of them reassess their plans? Did it bollocks.

Uncle TechTip

I think it was quite clear this could happen, and the government didn't hide this fact. Anyone making a rational assessment must have surely considered this.

As your second paragraph shows, the risks were clear, and responsible employers expressed that risk to employees. It's then up to them to apply this advice sensibly. People like that chump at the airport did not do this. You were free to go, but you accepted that this could happen.

imitationleather

Me and the lads have booked a house without a kitchen in a midlands beautyspot for a dirty weekend in mid-August.

Quite looking forward to leaving this city for the first time since March.

Tony Tony Tony

Returned on Sunday from a week in Spain. It was paid for by the money I have saved by not having to buy train tickets for the past three months or so. The resort was blissfully free of Brits and the hotel was under capacity so no fights for sunbeds or huge queues at the dining hall. The staff all wore masks at all times and were quick to point out whenever guests were missing theirs, especially near food.

The resort was close to the Portuguese border so we flew in to Faro and got a taxi to the Hotel with the same for the return journey. Since we were transiting through Portugal I was quite prepared for two weeks quarantine on return. Instead we booked a Covid test for Monday and have just got the results back by text today, both myself and Mrs TTT have been declared negative so free to go about the town.