DWP thinking of calling it quits on 69 suicides but still undecided

[Pingers]

The DWP are mulling over whether to call it a day after being responsible for at least 69 deaths by suicide, or whether to get a few more in the wankbank. Announcing plans to start treating seriously ill people as if they were seriously ill, and possibly people, ministers conceded that while it had been brilliant bantz destroying peoples' lives for being ill and not very, very rich, the novelty was possibly starting to wear off and wasn't really getting them over the line anymore.

The architects of the system designed to toy with the actual lives of people in unfortunate circumstances and make them beg for scraps and dance like a Romanian bear, Tony Blair and Iain Duncan Smith, were contacted for comment but were too busy spitroasting a dying anorexic to come to the fucking phone.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Nice nostalgic harrowing episode of Coffey Friends.

The One Where Emaciated Mentally Ill Graham Dies

[The Mollusk]

Half-asleep brain legit thought this thread title was on about two people taking their own lives by suffocating on each other's genitalia

Not a bad way to go though eh readers