Author Topic: Mysterious Chinese seeds.  (Read 1662 times)

Sherringford Hovis

  • 2 Kings 2:23
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #30 on: July 27, 2020, 01:09:14 PM »
why not trick the Americans

Watchmen is ruined - Alan Moore's pivotal assertion that the planet could unite in peace against an existential threat also seems naively optimistic, when wearing a facemask or not being a racist prick or doing something concrete about climate-change or thinking about post-capitalism is an anathema for so many.

Ray Travez

  • 'please scream inside your heart'
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #31 on: July 31, 2020, 06:02:17 PM »
Really? That's fucking amazing. I dare you to plant one. (In a controlled environment of course that adheres to local ecological standards) - Like a plant pot.

You got any pics?

Can you post a photo Ray

No I'm afraid not. Like I say, my wife was really uncomfortable about the whole thing, so I binned them. For reference, the envelope looked exactly like those posted in the previous photo, and the seeds looked, well, like tomato seeds but a bit furrier.

My wife had been watching the 70's drama Survivors and I think she had a worry that the seeds were perhaps spores of something deadly; whereas my thoughts were more along the lines of- you phone the telephone number on the package;

-hello? I have just been sent some seeds from you that I didn't order

-oh, that's ok. They're a free sample of Mysterious Chinese Seeds. If you like them please order more at our website, MysteriousSeeds100%kosher.com

-thanks for your help

-not at all

Then nine days later you get a phone bill for twenty thousand pounds. The relatively innocent and more likely 'brushing' explanation is really quite a disappointment.

Btw, Ray, you didn't sell any cows lately, did you?

Not lately, no.

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #32 on: August 01, 2020, 04:55:53 PM »

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #33 on: August 01, 2020, 05:00:45 PM »
Strategic PRC beanstalks to steal our Freedoms.

Head Gardener

  • weed specialist
    • Gardening mixes
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #34 on: August 01, 2020, 05:58:42 PM »
Japanese Knotweed, obv

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #35 on: August 01, 2020, 06:02:05 PM »
Surely there has been enough time to genetically identify these seeds. If it takes less than a day to identify a terror suspect half way round the world, you'd think this would be a doddle

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #36 on: August 01, 2020, 06:53:22 PM »
I unwittingly ate some of these. Unfortunately I have caught covid, but on the plus side my 5G reception is brilliant.

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #37 on: August 01, 2020, 07:22:55 PM »
Surely there has been enough time to genetically identify these seeds. If it takes less than a day to identify a terror suspect half way round the world, you'd think this would be a doddle

That would be a logical course of action if these seeds were actually a concern and not just some media-driven China Panic based on an obvious online merchandising scam (possibly based out of Taiwan?).

The Russians are putting fluoride in our water!

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #38 on: August 01, 2020, 08:32:57 PM »
That would be a logical course of action if these seeds were actually a concern and not just some media-driven China Panic based on an obvious online merchandising scam (possibly based out of Taiwan?).

The Russians are putting fluoride in our water!

Thank you. This is all I needed to know.

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #39 on: August 01, 2020, 09:21:56 PM »
I wondered the same as blodwyn. I should think some batches have been tested and turned out to be pumpkins or carrots or cress but They don't want to release a statement saying "yea they're just lettuce seeds" because not all batches can be tested and some will be lettuces or broad beans but some will be triffids (or something shit like knot weed).

Doesn't mean it's malicious but all the same it's probably best not to give license to plant any old thing that's sent to you from somewhere else in the world.

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #40 on: August 02, 2020, 12:03:14 AM »
it's probably just sending really lightweight shit out to be able to post fake amazon reviews.

not this

https://youtu.be/7RjFvcw6ToQ?t=476

(ace model shots)

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #41 on: August 02, 2020, 01:44:53 AM »
it's probably just sending really lightweight shit out to be able to post fake amazon reviews.

Can someone explain how this works? If I send you some seeds how can I then post reviews about how great the other shitty tat I am selling is?

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #42 on: August 02, 2020, 01:56:37 AM »
i guess they have proof of postage? I was in the car more than ever recently so heard a bit about it on R4. there was also a bit on QAnon. it was like ben garrison was on my FM radio

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #43 on: August 02, 2020, 10:33:38 AM »
it's probably just sending really lightweight shit out to be able to post fake amazon reviews.

not this

https://youtu.be/7RjFvcw6ToQ?t=476

(ace model shots)

seems a bit convoluted. the zenith of the capitalist dream.

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #44 on: August 02, 2020, 11:16:05 AM »
Can someone explain how this works? If I send you some seeds how can I then post reviews about how great the other shitty tat I am selling is?

This is how it happened with me. They access your Amazon account and order stuff to addresses in your address book using the saved card then review the items. The orders are then archived so they aren't immediately obvious to you - I'd strongly suggest anyone who's had seeds sent to them to look in their archive/check their bank account.

I must say, the reviews were genuinely well written.

Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #45 on: August 04, 2020, 10:45:33 AM »
Fuck that's needlessly complex, but would explain a lot of generic reviews saying things like "The item was promptly delivered, just what I wanted!"

seepage

  • sweaty robot
Re: Mysterious Chinese seeds.
« Reply #46 on: August 04, 2020, 11:22:06 AM »
This is how it happened with me. They access your Amazon account and order stuff to addresses in your address book using the saved card then review the items. The orders are then archived so they aren't immediately obvious to you - I'd strongly suggest anyone who's had seeds sent to them to look in their archive/check their bank account.

I must say, the reviews were genuinely well written.

How do they suppress the order confirmation email?

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