Author Topic: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!  (Read 1531 times)

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #30 on: September 03, 2020, 06:27:46 AM »
"Bottle of cheap champers, Leo Sayer LP, that's my Friday sorted!"

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #31 on: September 03, 2020, 08:16:53 AM »
" Another Beatles front cover from " Mojo"! SORTED!"


( Although that's the sort of thing Accepting Middle Age Andy might say, I suppose.)

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #32 on: September 03, 2020, 09:11:35 PM »
"The social restrictions have been tough, but thankfully I am modern and have kept in touch with people over Wazzup."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #33 on: September 04, 2020, 01:14:22 AM »
It's quiet in the office. Suddenly, a middle-aged voice chirps up.

"We hope it's chips, it's chips!"

Pause.

"It's gotta be right, with Hammerite, on iron, on iron!"

Pause.

"You can't get better than a Kwit Fit fitter!"

Pause.

"Oh for fuck's... you office millennials! I won't even bother doing Bodyform, I know you don't know that one."

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #34 on: September 04, 2020, 09:04:48 AM »
You seem to have bought in the character of Middle Aged Memories Mikey.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #35 on: September 04, 2020, 11:20:56 PM »
You seem to have bought in the character of Middle Aged Memories Mikey.

"NUTS! WHOLE HAZELNUTS!"

"Was that Ned or Mike?" wonders Born-in-2000 Billy.

Vaporwave Vic peeks around her Apple Mac.

"It's Mike. I think Ned has realized us millennials are not clued in on the 20th Century."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #36 on: September 05, 2020, 03:31:56 AM »
"CAR-LING BLACK LABEL!"

"Mike again."

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #37 on: September 05, 2020, 10:53:42 AM »
# so oh, Mr.Confectioner , please...give me Toblerone!#

Both Ned and Mike in unison that time. Ned is mellowing out as his middle age progresses.They go to high- five each other, remember these perilous times we're in, then give each other the elbow bumps.

" Aw, that's nice!" Says an appreciative Millenial Mandy.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #38 on: September 05, 2020, 01:51:42 PM »
"Oh Mister Soft... can't you tell me why-"

"-Mike, don't bother mate. They don't know 'em. Don't bother."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #39 on: September 06, 2020, 12:16:49 AM »
"Loving the new one from Snow Patrol. Not sure if it's a new one actually but I heard one of their songs on the radio awhile ago. Or maybe it was Keane or some other new pop group now."

Nowhere Man

  • Life is just a bowl of life cereal
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #40 on: September 06, 2020, 02:28:26 AM »
It only seems to be you too posting in here at the moment, so i'll just say that you are both fantastic lads, and I love your mad whimsy.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #41 on: September 06, 2020, 12:49:26 PM »
It only seems to be you too posting in here at the moment, so i'll just say that you are both fantastic lads, and I love your mad whimsy.

Aw cheers NM. Beautiful poetry btw!

"A MARS A DAY HELPS YOU WORK REST AND PLAY!"

That was 21st-Century Chuck! The millennials are catching on!

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #42 on: September 06, 2020, 10:57:09 PM »
"Being postin' pix of some of my old guitars on the Instamatic. No 'likes' as yet."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #43 on: September 07, 2020, 09:05:42 PM »
"Neonscrubblie! Chocadoo-"

"Nah Mike mate you'll completely alienate the office millennials with that deep cut!"

"Fair enough Ned man. Was gonna do the Jamie and the Magic Torch theme with vocal bass and all but I'd best not by the sounds of it."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #44 on: September 08, 2020, 07:07:21 AM »
Ned in Currys.

"But what actually is 4K?"

"Its four times the detail of standard HD, with enhanced colours, sir."

"What's 'standard HD'?"

"Its 1080p, which Blu-ray was before 4K."

"What's blue ray?"

"It's a step up from the standard definition of DVD, sir."

Ned thinks carefully about what to say next. He knows that mentioning VHS will really put him in the fogie category. Then he remembers.

"Ah, like the lazer disks?"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #45 on: September 08, 2020, 02:14:07 PM »
Ned regresses to infancy for a bit and subsists on rusks and gripe water for the duration.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #46 on: September 10, 2020, 04:06:43 PM »
"Can't wait for the new Playbox Series X. I've preordered one from Shifty Jim down the market, £700 and batteries included!"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #47 on: September 12, 2020, 12:13:05 PM »
Ned gets his shades on, breaks out the surfboard and heads for the beach. "The ex will prolly be down there with her new twatty boyfriend and our child, but fuck it. Check out these abs!"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #48 on: September 13, 2020, 01:51:43 PM »
"Took the Segway up to Hyde Park this afternoon. 'California Love' on repeat on the iPod, chillin' under a tree with the ol' Kindle. Anything by Chuck Palahniuk, I'm hip to his vision."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #49 on: September 14, 2020, 11:17:30 AM »
"Any protest marches going on? Because I will attend! Not Saturdays though, 'cos I have the little lad. Taking him to Legoland next week, bo-ring!"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #50 on: September 15, 2020, 05:10:30 PM »
Ned goes crazy and buys a Cadillac. Bankrupt, homeless.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #51 on: September 16, 2020, 03:22:13 PM »
Ned speaks loudly into his Bluetooth headset on the bus. "Yeah, the second Coldplay album is m'fave. Yo, hit me up for a cappuccino Jake, we'll talk business soon, yeah? Dilly dilly!"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #52 on: September 16, 2020, 09:42:10 PM »
Ned bounces into HMV on a space hopper. "Word to m'hip people!"

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #53 on: September 17, 2020, 08:41:31 PM »
Ned rebrands as DJ Bejams and saunters around the high street sporting deely boppers.

PlanktonSideburns

  • putting the 'rimmage' back in pilgrimage
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #54 on: September 17, 2020, 08:44:12 PM »
"Was playing FInal Fantasy VII last night, Millennial Mick! What a classic!"

"Oh nice one Ned. I assume you mean the original and not the recent remake?"

Ned's face drops.

"They've remade it?"

"Yeah. FFVIII too."

Ned slowly gets up from his desk and wanders across the office, lost in a haze of shock.

"You'd best take the rest of the day off, Ned," says Supervisor Steve.

Loved this post

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #55 on: September 17, 2020, 08:46:30 PM »
Loved this post

Thanks Planks! Although I kind of got it wrong 'cos they only did a remaster of FFVIII. That's still too much for Ned, though.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Still Not Accepting Middle-Age Ned: Back in the Girdle!
« Reply #56 on: Yesterday at 12:56:05 PM »
Ned puts a giant Star Wars sticker on the bonnet of his car.

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