Songs that make you kill.

[Coughlan]

With the release of Crazy Frog as a single I'd thought I'd start a thread about those songs that are so Irritating that you want to rip someones head off just to have something to throw at the radio.
My vote goes to the 5678's with that old classic WOOHOO.
what's your's?

[Garfield And Friends]

#"Let's eat to the beat!#

"Fast Food Song" by the Fast Food Rockers

[Des Nilsen]

'Blue' by those two tossers who made it. I don't remember their name.

That song was on the radio again and again and again when I was doing work experience (five days a week, 9-5pm, for two weeks). If somebody played it to me now I'd stare at them foamy-mouthed and it wouldn't be long (no, not long at all), until I made a toothy leap for their throat.

-

[Pepotamo1985]

'Blue' by those two tossers who made it. I don't remember their name.

Eiffel 65

[Coughlan]

Anyone remember "where do you go?" by no mercy?

[Des Nilsen]

'Blue' by those two tossers who made it. I don't remember their name.

Eiffel 65

:strokes shotgun:

Thanks, Pepotamo1985.

-

[wheatgod]

Anyone remember "where do you go?" by no mercy?

I remember it, and still listen to it. I find it rather charming, myself.
Hard Rock/Metal/whatever you want to call it makes me want to kill whoever writes and performs it (usually twats).

[Rats]

is this the way to fucking hospital

[The Mumbler]

Anything by Maroon 5.  I sometimes imagine that if they didn't exist, commercial radio in the UK would have to shut down.

Oh, and Keane obviously.

[Rats]

maroon 5 seem to just make catch all music that as many people as possible will like, my mam, dad, sister and my bloody dog think they're great.

[vladyeti]

I've always utterly dispised the following two songs.  If I hear five seconds of either it makes me seethe with rage.

"Love in an Elevator" by Aerosmith: I used to work in a pub.  Some cunt used to put this on the jukebox EVERY SINGLE TIME he came in.

"Ride On Time" by Black Box. Another jukebox one.  Singer had horrific foghorn voice.  How can anyone possibly like this?  Hearing it made me want to find out where the singer lived and kill her.  I decided against it because I thought the song might then be played more often, posthumously.

Also, watching Arrested Development reminded me of how much I used to hate "The Final Countdown" by Europe.

[Saturday Boy]

"Ride On Time" by Black Box. Another jukebox one.  Singer had horrific foghorn voice.  How can anyone possibly like this?  Hearing it made me want to find out where the singer lived and kill her.  I decided against it because I thought the song might then be played more often, posthumously.

Hahahah... I had a terrible terrible image of you shooting the poor girl who mimed it by mistake.

If it's the voice you hate, shoot Lolita Holloway, if it's its use on the Black Box song that drives you to murder, go for model Katrin Quinol.

[klaatu!]

That Nelly and Kelly one, whatever it's called ('No matter what I do, all I think about is you...'). Absolutely horrible, disgusting, sickening, repulsive, painful, revolting, bile-inducing, abominable piece of shit. I hate it.

And Angels too.

[fanny splendid]

That fucking, happy happy summer, Coral single.

[Boss Mew]

The entire careers of Natasha and Daniel Bedingfield.

And  'Lonely' by the cunt named Akon

[no_offenc]

That fucking, happy happy summer, Coral single.

Seconded....you could've killed them while you were up here t'other week, though....

ANYTHING BY MARIO WINANS.  And Usher as well...

"Oh noes, I just cheated on my boo with another boo and now my first boo don't want me no mo' and i'm all cut up about it even though it's MY FUCKING FAULT FOR BEING A STUPID CHEATING CUNT"

Oooooooh I could crush his head.

[Garfield And Friends]

What's a "boo"? (Besides the thing that ghosts apparently say to scare you)

[Des Nilsen]

I suppose it's a derivative of 'Baby-Boo'.

-

[Brutus Beefcake]

Pretty much everything I hear these days.

[Ciarán2]

What's a "boo"? (Besides the thing that ghosts apparently say to scare you)

It comes from Jamaican patois and means "boy". I quite like that that Usher single is called "My Boo" as it makes me think of titles of old Motown hits. If Martha Reeves was starting out now, she'd have a song called "My Boo". It'd be better than the Usher record, naturally.

[Charlie Potatoes]

Anything by Robbie "fucking" Williams, but in particular Angels.

Also, the theme from Friends and that Breakfast At Tiffany's song by Deep Blue Something.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

The new Coldplay single. Its blandness (and similarity to everything else they've done) really angers me. How could ANYBODY get excited by it? How?

[The Mumbler]

And it's called "Speed Of Sound"!  "Speed of Tractors" more like.

[TJ]

That fucking, happy happy summer, Coral single.

"I wrote this song in two minutes fla-a-at
I used the fifteen basic introductory words of the English lan-gwar-arge

*annoying tinkly riff etc*"


When will the world stop praising this troupe of useless unimaginative tossmerchants to the skies?

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

I first heard it when C4 played the video as an 'exclusive'. Despite being an exclusive, within in the opening bars I still thought 'Oh, this one'. It's burnt into the tinny sound of Generic FM.

How do people find time in their lives to listen to whole albums by Coldplay? Aren't they just an indie version of The Lighthouse Family?

[Neville Chamberlain]

Oddly, I rather like that Coldplay song. It's got a couple of good changes and has a bit of a 'groove'. But yes, like every other Coldplay song, it sort of runs out of ideas after about 30 seconds and then just sort of plods on boringly.

As to stuff that makes me want to kill, it's got to be Oasis. The sheer workmanlike plodding drudgery of their songs makes me ill and the fact they're so popular is sickening in its sheer unjustness.

As for 'Generic FM' stuff, as much as I hate it, I find it so utterly insubstantial that it makes absolutely no impression whatsoever on my brain. Oasis songs, however, possess a particularly artless, unlikeable buffoon-like manner about them that unfortunately makes them hard to ignore.

U2: see Oasis.

Easy-listening lounge type music also makes me want to kill. I actually like Stereolab lots except when they ditch their excellent repetitive grooves and go all "ba-ba-ba" on my ass.

[ninestonecreature]

The new Coldplay single. Its blandness (and similarity to everything else they've done) really angers me. How could ANYBODY get excited by it? How?

It takes the piss, doesn't it? Never has a record oozed as much sheer complacency. You'd think, given they're so sickeningly successful, they could afford to make something approaching a daring artistic leap with this record but...nothing.  Martin seems happy to slag off EMI shareholders in public, while pandering to them with a canine eagerness with these anaemic records, guaranteed to sell by the fuckload through their sheer vacuous inoffensiveness.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Why don't Coldplay make an album as varied and weird and colourful as, say, The Beatles' white album? Is it because they can't, or is it because they're branded with a certain sound and are too scared to rise above it? Or are they just boring people generally?

RW's 'Angels' has had a bit of a backlash recently, which is good. For a long time it was the inverted snob's song of choice - people talked loudly about how great it was in a 'I like pop music, deal with it' kind of way. It's a horrible, faux-anthemic dirge.

[rjd2]

That Akon song is horrible a real attack on my ears. The majority of RnB is terrible repetitive sassy rubbish aimed at silly little schoolgirls. Artists such as Mario and Usher make me want to cry.

[Derek Trucks]

Why don't Coldplay make an album as varied and weird and colourful as, say, The Beatles' white album? Is it because they can't, or is it because they're branded with a certain sound and are too scared to rise above it? Or are they just boring people generally?

It's quite ironic that Martin constantly bemoans major corporations, when financial analysts are saying that the future of EMI (and by extension, the British music industry as a whole) is at least partly dependant on the sales performance of their new album.  At least one reason why they don't like to rock the boat.