Author Topic: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character  (Read 1584 times)

Rizla

  • That's not another knife - THIS is another knife!
Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« on: July 28, 2020, 11:48:46 PM »
Face The Facts would be the title of the sitcom about my life!!!

Does anyone else ever feel they are actually a Galton & Simpson fag packet half idea?

I have jumped the shark if that's the case - I've gone too middle class what with my future kitchen and my aioli and poached trout for tea this eve. My character would never do that in real life.

In what ways does YOUR everyday life resemble some half-hearted Shelley spin-off?


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2020, 12:47:01 AM »
I'm one of those hardworking yet powerless office employees with a lousy boss and a headwrecking coworker. My humorous thing is making remarks about "my old man" or "my big hairy son" or "my twelve year old" and then it turns out I'm talking about my dog.

Twonty Gostelow

  • Sent from my bum using Crapatalk
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2020, 01:46:47 AM »
My daughter really is called Jessica and my wife finds me exasperating.

I have never roller-skated.

ollyboro

  • More pussy than Sinatra
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2020, 03:20:07 AM »
My wife has just had a stillborn in a tower block lift.

Twit 2

  • A soft voice whispers nothing.
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2020, 09:00:23 AM »
I am the lord of the scurriers. I have a beetle chariot, which gives me safe passage through a subterranean network of tunnels. One tunnel comes up in my local garden centre, so I can lay eggs in the eyes of the assistant manager, like Pauline Quirke in Birds of a Feather, when she was in Porridge.

Famous Mortimer

  • War - it's fantastic!
    • International Syndicate of Cult Film Critics
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2020, 01:55:40 PM »
A boring guy, but I have all these daydreams...that are also extremely boring.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2020, 02:03:53 PM »
Robin Askwith  in " Bottle Boys"

Bill Maynard in " Oh No! It's Selwyn Froggit!"

Barry Evans in " Mind Your Language".

Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2020, 02:10:23 PM »
My house is haunted by the ghost of an elderly female Jewish stereotype.

Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2020, 04:14:41 PM »
I'm a caveman with a shit car.

Cuellar

  • Taxes, they'll be lower...son
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2020, 04:36:59 PM »
I wouldn't watch it.

Better Midlands

  • I'm not internationally known
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2020, 04:42:08 PM »
Dear John, but it's a continued stasis at the 5m46s point of S01E01.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2020, 05:10:48 PM »
I am the kerayziest nonce in the building!

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2020, 06:57:47 PM »
My trousers fall down just as the vicar enters the room. On a daily basis.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2020, 07:22:56 PM »
Then he bums you?

Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2020, 07:33:29 PM »
I'm the sarcastic side character who spends most of his time quietly working in the background, pouring occasional withering quips and cynicism over the main character's crazy schemes. In series 4 there's an episode that focuses on my relationship with my dad

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2020, 07:35:06 PM »
Then he bums you?

Chance would be a fine thing.

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2020, 09:31:45 PM »
My wife goes to work while I stay home looking after a baby. So more like an unfunny 80s American daytime sitcom than a Galton/Simpson effort.

Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2020, 09:38:58 PM »
I'm Maris Crane.

neveragain

  • like those swamp tar pits that bubble and go Gloop
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2020, 09:49:07 PM »
Every week I get sued by a different multi-national conglomerate.

Tony Tony Tony

  • CaB Worm Charming Runner Up 2018-2020
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2020, 09:57:27 PM »
I'm Arthur Mullard in Yus My Dear

PlanktonSideburns

  • and now the dream is over: the pingu is awake
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2020, 10:08:47 PM »
brother got me life size cutout of nick cage for birthday. put it in the window for a bit

me and wife been spending the evening wandering into the livingroom and totally SHITTING IT every time we see the silouette of man in the window

Rizla

  • That's not another knife - THIS is another knife!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2020, 10:16:53 PM »
Popped into fishmongers intending to purchase clams for spaghetti'n'clams, but no clams to be had. Okay, I'll have some of that salmon instead. "That's actually sea trout", said fishmonger. "Yeah I know, that's what I meant", I said, and bought two fillets, even though as regular viewers know I had trout yesterday. It's still in the fridge, didn't really feel up to a fish meal. Made mushroom soup instead. With anchovies in.

Renwick-tier stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.


Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2020, 10:22:10 PM »
I'm a mixture of Gary Strang and Mark Corrigan. But with fewer girlfriends.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #23 on: July 30, 2020, 06:25:57 PM »
a writer knocks off early because there's a scene in which I have access to a police radio

Jake Thingray

  • Chacun a son gout, that is yer actual French.
    • Journalisted
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2020, 09:00:02 PM »
Robin Askwith  in " Bottle Boys"

Bill Maynard in " Oh No! It's Selwyn Froggit!"

Barry Evans in " Mind Your Language".

Hmmm... any equivalents of Anna Bergman and Francoise Pascal in your classes, luv?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2020, 09:03:25 PM »
Hmmm... any equivalents of Anna Bergman and Francoise Pascal in your classes, luv?

Come on, luv, less of that kind of talk, let's lay off the lecherous, and stick to the remit of this thread. I'll be Tony Hancock, you be Sid James, how does that grab you?

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2020, 09:07:47 PM »
Cliff Clavin.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2020, 09:08:56 PM »
Cliff Clavin.

Can I be Norm, and sit next to you at the bar? Can I ?

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #28 on: July 30, 2020, 09:09:49 PM »
Of course.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Face the facts, you are a sitcom character
« Reply #29 on: July 30, 2020, 09:10:58 PM »
" Cheers" !!!!!!! 😁😸☻

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