Back to work anxiety

[spaghetamine]

I've been off for four months and have to start working again in a few days (although I am still likely getting made redundant imminently), pretty sure I've completely forgotten how to do the job, bricking it tbh, we are at least working from home the foreseeable future so I am relieved I don't actually have to interact with the majority of the cunts there - any words of advice? surely they must be expecting a dip in productivity/quality from the majority of their employees when they've been off so long?

[Pranet]

If I've been off for a week I sort of can't believe what I do for a living so I can imagine how you feel. Thing is, after a day or two it will be like you never stopped.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You can't just restart a business given everyone's in the same boat. Chances are they're expecting you back before they even know what to do with you. Think about what it's like coming back after Christmas where everyone's been down for a couple of weeks, fuck all happens for ages.

[H-O-W-L]

Same boat. Been off since March and back on Saturday, at least, theoretically. Nobody's called me to tell me what I'll be doing or when, and I honestly think if I sleep through Saturday nobody will ever notice.

[Cloud]

Also being pulled back in on Monday, but been working from home.  I have a feeling it'll be like coming back from holiday, it'll feel like never having been away.

Been told to report straight to HR first thing, hopefully for a back to work briefing and not for a redundancy notice...

[wooders1978]

I second the you'll be back feeling like you never went away after few days

My work anxiety centres around workbore middle management putting pressure on people to return to the office because "productivity has dipped" - which firstly, wtf is that based on? Half of our customers are furloughed so there is less work currently for our suppport teams to address, office or otherwise - the rest of us who are more sales and delivery orientated have been working our bollocks off due to the slew of redundancy you oh so very cleverly made earlier in the COVID crisis
To make matters worse in a video townhall one of the most workborie work bore managers was on the video call, muted, clearly coughing and spluttering away while in the office so, fuck off with your get yourselves back in the office ASAP trip, thanks very much 

[dissolute ocelot]

I'm trying to string out working from home for as long as possible. The company has an incredibly detailed back to work plan which involves things like one-way systems, wearing a mask whenever you leave your desk, complex toilet access systems, red and green cards on desks, nobody bringing in cakes, everybody eating lunch at their desks (previously verboten), leaving coats in your car or under your desk, fuck knows how we'll get coffee or tea... It's insane. There's even apparently a hilarious video to watch made by people at another office.

Also, no more than 50% occupancy at any time, alternate desks, yet HR are still on at people trying to get us back even if it's only every other day. A lot of people have good reasons to not work like that - carrying a ton of equipment to the office for days you're working there, and taking it home again for home days. It's a bit annoying turning a corner of my home into a workshop/lab/office, but far more annoying doing the commute, and far more annoying having to pay attention in pointless meetings rather than turning your camera off "for bandwidth" and doing the crossword.

I'm lucky because the company I work for is owned by a secret society of benevolent wizards or something, has no shareholders, and shitloads of cash in the bank to burn through. But we do need to sell something at some point.