You Can Send ONE British Wild Animal back in time, What Would You Send & Why?

[Dr Rock]

well?

[Blue Jam]

Seagulls. I'd send them all back to the primordial soup so they can fucking drown in it.

[Sin Agog]

Stig of the Dump.  Cavemen don't belong here.  Why is it even here?  We aren't cavemen anymore, you Ron Pearlman-looking bastard.  Fuck off back to your own time.  Now isn't for you.  Go away, Stig, and fucking flounder in your rubbishless world, you absolute freak of nature.  Nobody likes you.

[Buelligan]

I'd definitely post a Coelodonta antiquitatis (wooly rhinoceros) into that fridge Johnson was hiding in.  I'd even pay the excess postage out of my own pocket.

The why is obvious, I would have thought.

[idunnosomename]

Humans ahhhhhhhh

[Sebastian Cobb]

Owls. We're not worthy.

[wooders1978]

The humble field mouse - I wonder what they'd make of it all

[chveik]

send a goose to kill Churchill

[Paul Calf]

Seagulls. I'd send them all back to the primordial soup so they can fucking drown in it.

I'm totally behind this. Jonathan Livingston Seagull? Thieving Aggressive Cunt Seagull more like.

[Dr Rock]

You can only send ONE animal.

[Dr Rock]

I'd definitely post a Coelodonta antiquitatis (wooly rhinoceros) into that fridge Johnson was hiding in.  I'd even pay the excess postage out of my own pocket.

Has to be a British Wild Animal.

[Dr Rock]

I suppose I might drop a big cow on Hitler when he was doing one of his speeches. I am aware that this would not definitely stop WW2.

[steve98]

My Dad called his Tennents Super "Primordial soop". "O, Ah love mah fuckin' primordial soop, so Ah dae", he'd say.

[gib]

Has to be a British Wild Animal.

Well i doubt they were tame. The problem here is more to do with 'back in time' vs 'forward in time'.

[Dr Rock]

Yes, the British Wild Animal must be not from yesteryear or from the future. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear.

[Sebastian Cobb]

My Dad called his Tennents Super "Primordial soop". "O, Ah love mah fuckin' primordial soop, so Ah dae", he'd say.

The usual name is electric soup.

[seepage]

My Dad called his Tennents Super "Primordial soop". "O, Ah love mah fuckin' primordial soop, so Ah dae", he'd say.

Did the Jethro Tull royalties run out?

[Buelligan]

Has to be a British Wild Animal.

Fucking hell man, it is a British Wild Animal.  Implying I'm planning to send a non-British animal back in time, I'm not a fucking idiot!


_{Range of the woolly rhinoceros}

[Mr Farenheit]

I'd send a basking shark two weeks back in time to Tim Wheterspoons' garage. He would shit his fucking pants. Just keep it there for 1 minute though, so it survives and so when he plucks up the courage to come back in for a second look its gone. What's he gonna do? tell anyone about it? No fucking chance. This is between him and his nightmares.

Then, I'd send it back in time 3 days ago when he was having a barbeque. Just as he's started to believe he imagined the whole thing, the first time since the garage that he's been able to unwind and enjoy himself. He's telling an hilarious anecdote/diatribe about Brexit and everyone's gathered round, laughing along glasses in hand. Then the basking shark appears for 4 seconds, 3 metres off the ground behind everyone else's heads.

Take that, cunto!

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Sir Tom Moore; back to Arthurian times.

[Buelligan]

I'd send a basking shark two weeks back in time to Tim Wheterspoons' garage. He would shit his fucking pants. Just keep it there for 1 minute though, so it survives and so when he plucks up the courage to come back in for a second look its gone. What's he gonna do? tell anyone about it? No fucking chance. This is between him and his nightmares.

Then, I'd send it back in time 3 days ago when he was having a barbeque. Just as he's started to believe he imagined the whole thing, the first time since the garage that he's been able to unwind and enjoy himself. He's telling an hilarious anecdote/diatribe about Brexit and everyone's gathered round, laughing along glasses in hand. Then the basking shark appears for 4 seconds, 3 metres off the ground behind everyone else's heads.

Take that, cunto!

You should do a final one, when you send it back completely inside him.  I think that would be fair.

[idunnosomename]

oh just one? then a horse i suppose

[Mr Farenheit]

Sir Tom Moore; back to Arthurian times.

Go and open his garden gate first so they think he's escaped.

[ollyboro]

Was the pig Cameron face fucked wild? (Wild! He was furious etc) If so, I'd send him back to that very moment with a bear trap in his dead mouth, so Dave snags his winkle on it. If it was a tame pig, I'd send Ben Stokes back to D-Day. He'd have it sorted in an afternoon.

[Tony Tony Tony]

I'd send back a Peacock, see how the showy fecker gets on up against a Dino.

[Mr Farenheit]

You should do a final one, when you send it back completely inside him.  I think that would be fair.

Good idea, just posted him a blank postcard in the shape of a dorsal fin to keep him on his toes.
Now, I'm going to wait 74 days then send the basking shark back in time 45 days. Expect #didtimmartinjustexplode? to be trending on twitter in 29 days.

[holyzombiejesus]

Public lice, to Josie H***t, repeatedly, throughout 1990. And to Jill R*****s, repeatedly, throughout 1992. And to Janet H***h, repeatedly, throughout 1995. And to Lisa H***s, repeatedly, throughout 2002. Who's moving on and getting on with their life now, bitchtits?

[Icehaven]

Something that could really have fucked with evolution so we'd have some bizarre badger or wildcat dodo hybrid monster running around now. Although we'd probably have hunted them to extinction by now.

[Brundle-Fly]

One grey squirrel back to the days when there were mainly red squirrels in the UK. Not so hard now, eh, Nutkin?

[seepage]

but they're smarter