The Last Straw (trig warning, miserable thread)

[Cloud]

Sorry to hear that.

Dunno, I've often said that at a certain age when things stop working and life is constant pain etc I'd be inclined to check out early, but have a feeling that when it actually comes to that, survival instinct will override it.  That and like, I'm halfway already and still feel like a kid.  Life is rather short.

[ollyboro]

Nah, I intend to spend every penny I have on drugs and prostitutes before my death, so alas it's not to be. But to meet you (sort of) half way, I am prepared to strap ten jars of strawberry jam around my stomach (and more if there's the space) so at least while scraping me up the poor bastard would be surrounded by a pleasant odour.

If you're prepared to meet me halfway, then I'm prepared to meet you halfway. So that's what? Us meeting a quarter of the way?( If we don't agree soon, we may as well not bother)
How about: You pay for me to go to Saint Moritz, we have a joint, I wank you off, then I push you off a mountain.

[garbed_attic]

Sorry to hear that Blodders mate. I hope your last months with your mum are as good as they can be in these circumstances (so... probably not good, but hopefully with moments of levity and peace).

[Barry Admin]

Sorry to hear that Blodders mate. I hope your last months with your mum are as good as they can be in these circumstances (so... probably not good, but hopefully with moments of levity and peace).

It's his mum's friend.

[Small Man Big Horse]

If you're prepared to meet me halfway, then I'm prepared to meet you halfway. So that's what? Us meeting a quarter of the way?( If we don't agree soon, we may as well not bother)
How about: You pay for me to go to Saint Moritz, we have a joint, I wank you off, then I push you off a mountain.

We have a deal. A legally binding deal.

[garbed_attic]

It's his mum's friend.

erg - thanks - I must have read too quickly. best wishes to Blodders' mum all the same

[Kelvin]

I hope your last months with your mum are as good as they can be in these circumstances

Is this a threat?

[BlodwynPig]

Sorry to hear that Blodders mate. I hope your last months with your mum are as good as they can be in these circumstances (so... probably not good, but hopefully with moments of levity and peace).

yeh, its my mum's friend but the sentiments are acknowledged by proxy. my mum has lost quite a few friends this year through horrible illnesses.

[dannyfc]

Sorry to hear that.

Dunno, I've often said that at a certain age when things stop working and life is constant pain etc I'd be inclined to check out early, but have a feeling that when it actually comes to that, survival instinct will override it.  That and like, I'm halfway already and still feel like a kid.  Life is rather short.

This is it man, everyone thinks you suddenly get to an age and think 'right thats my lot, it was a good innings, fair play.'

In reality you still feel mentally young and let's be honest unless you believe in an afterlife having to face and come to terms with the abyss is terrifying.

[ollyboro]

Is this a threat?

Sounds more like the start of a confession to me. I reckon he's kidnapped both Blodders and Old Mother Blodders, but still lets them facetime.

[Mister Six]

Hard to say. I get quite persistent back pain, and when it's bad it really casts a pall over everything. I can imagine if it were untreatable and I was permanently in a state of agony, a one-way ticket to Veritas might look quite tempting.

My main fear is probably degenerative mental illness, although I'd probably hold on too long, lose my grip on the last straggling threads of sensibility and be left a happy, gurgling lump, unable to continue. Maybe that's not too bad.

Tell you what though, if I get terminal cancer in my 80s (probable, given family history) then I'm going to get off my rocker on all the drugs I never tried. More heroin for me, mister dealer! And throw in some DMT, I want to say hi to God before we're hanging out on a more permanent basis.

[kngen]

I think if I continually woke up in as much pain as I was in when I went to sleep, that would do it for me, as that just seems eternally shite (so even a pretty bad migraine would have me on the phone to Dignitas if it didn't clear up after a couple of days). However, as I've got a kid, her priorities come first, and I'd imagine she wants me to stick around until at least she's got her first job. After that, and she says 'You know, you're really bumming us all out with your constant talk of pre- and post-somnolence pain ratios. Have you considered not being alive?' I'd say, 'Aye, fair enough,' and start researching the closest ice floe on which to slowly drift away.

[Mister Six]

My dad died slowly and very painfully from lung cancer when I was a teenager and it was horrific to watch, so when they told me I had terminal lung cancer (with a 6% chance of surviving 2 more months) I was determined not to do that to my kids. So I focused on making the fortnightly comedy podcast, having fun with the kids and sourcing a good target or two for when things got bad. But they never did.

One of the worst things I did was taking the kids to see Guardians of the Galaxy as it had just come out when I got my diagnosis. That opening scene was unexpected and fucking traumatic for us all.

Ooh fuck me. How long ago was the diagnosis?

[Twit 2]

I will not cope well with cancer or old age. I was getting some petrol from Tesco earlier, took a wrong turn and missed the exit, ended up in the car park for the store instead, adding about 15 seconds onto my day. Felt like a final straw, felt like an end it all moment. I don't really have a big sense of a hierarchy of importance of things: everything will feel fairly equally essential or meaningless, depending on the day. I also find "Falling Down" style breakdowns inherently funny, so I don't think I could truly be all final straw at something trivial without laughing too much.

[Cloud]

If this half-a-life of fear and misery is set to go on indefinitely then "about now" is fine for the exit button to be honest.  It felt like we might actually have shit "under control enough to live something of an almost-normal life" and then we end up back at the start of bloody March again.

[pancreas]

on reflection

[sirhenry]

Ooh fuck me. How long ago was the diagnosis?

Six and a half years ago. 8 months later they couldn't find a thing. I never told them where I'd hidden it so they kept looking, every 6 months, for 5 years then gave up like a cat bored with playing with a dead mouse.

When you're dying it's easy to ignore your predicament because everyone dies one day, but it's really hard to ignore the suffering you're going to inflict on anyone stupid enough to like you. But when you're not dying any more you just feel shit because you lied to everyone and made everyone you know miserable. Some days you just can't win.

[pancreas]

Six and a half years ago. 8 months later they couldn't find a thing. I never told them where I'd hidden it so they kept looking, every 6 months, for 5 years then gave up like a cat bored with playing with a dead mouse.

When you're dying it's easy to ignore your predicament because everyone dies one day, but it's really hard to ignore the suffering you're going to inflict on anyone stupid enough to like you. But when you're not dying any more you just feel shit because you lied to everyone and made everyone you know miserable. Some days you just can't win.

It does rather sound like you're the cunt in this little episode. Congratulations on not dying though, cunt.

[imitationleather]

He's always been dead to me.

[sirhenry]

So what have we learned so far?
Après-ski is more fun than pre-ski and both are more fun than trot-ski.
If you are going to kill yourself, leave a fragrant corpse. Most fruit-based fragrances are acceptable, but not tomato.
If you are going to die soon, by choice or chance, do it right. Survivor's guilt is a bitch - PTSD for the 'lucky' ones.

Now hand in your copybook to your teacher or head of class.

In the next class we will look at the sun.