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Vacuum cleaners

Started by peanutbutter, August 01, 2020, 10:59:08 PM

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touchingcloth

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on June 14, 2021, 10:07:05 PM
I have about 200 pounds to spend on a new hoover. Henry has to go. He's fucking useless. We only have carpets in my son's room and the stairs/ landing but I may as well lick the carpet than use that smirking red cunt on them. Heard Sharks are good, thinking of a NZ801UKT but not sure. Any ideas (apart from don't spend 200 quid on a hoover)?

Get a Hetty. You can watch it fucking Henry.

Butchers Blind

I find my cleaner who comes in twice a week brings her own.

steve98

Quote from: Jockice on August 02, 2020, 12:14:54 PM
Vacuum cleaners shouldn't have faces. End of. I have a Vax. It's okay.

I disagree. And if I had my life to live over again I'd start a door-to-door vacuum cleaner happy face-stenciling service. "Morning ma'am. I'm in the area stenciling happy faces on to a select few housewife's vacuums, and I'm delighted to tell you you're on our list. Do you have a vacuum cleaner?"

touchingcloth

I only use the vacuum cleaner for getting dust off the tables and telly, and I clean the carpets with a clean, lint-free rag. It's as inefficient as it is ineffective.

gilbertharding

Quote from: peanutbutter on August 01, 2020, 10:59:08 PM

What's your vacuum cleaner like? How long has it lasted? Would you recommend the same model? Have you ever bought an old Dyson off ebay?

I grew up in a house where upright hoovers were used, so I could never see the point of cylinder ones. And a hoover beats as it sweeps as it cleans...

We were given a Dyson DC04 as a house warming present 15 years ago. It was great - we used it to hoover up plaster dust during a massive DIY project, and that's probably what caused the bearings of the brush to run, although despite them squealing, it continued to work fine. Eventually we had to get the brush bearings sorted which fixed that. And then about four years ago the motor burned out, so we got another Dyson (one with the ball instead of wheels). We kept the old one, and I fitted a new motor - so that's in the garage. I expect it will be brought back into service when the new one dies.

peanutbutter

On account of the size of my space and not really trusting a used portable one, I got this dyson and it's been a pretty solid performer


Have since moved to a place nearly 3 times as big and it still does that job



Tempted to get a robot now though, tbh, some of them wash the floor and everything

Blue Jam

I need a new dust filter for my Hoover MaxExtract PressurePro model 60.

steve98

Your Hoover Max-Extract Pre-Pro 60 is a dust-filter. That's it entire reason for being.

Neville Chamberlain

I bought a Samsung Eco Wave about six years ago and I've never been the same since.

MojoJojo

I have a Neato D7 named Hoover Dan and a battery powered stick thing for the stairs/nooks and crannies/spills.

paruses

I have a kirby I use to clean the car. Had it off my parents because they were going to throw it out after 30 years of service. Makes you feel like you are an industrial hoove operator in the 1950s but God it's good. Would not recommend to an amateur vacuum user.

Uncle TechTip

Quote from: peanutbutter on August 02, 2020, 07:02:02 PM
Key point here guys: I live in a tiny studio apartment and I doubt I'm gonna be in much bigger of one in the near future.  Portable ones seem like a bit of a scam in this case cos I'm paying way more for the premium of okay suction with no cord. I am totally okay with a cord.


Are the smaller Henry ones any good? Henry Micro? His cousin Thomas?

The shopping channels make me laugh on this topic. If they're selling a cordless vac, they talk up the "freedom" from the cord, and how these portable units pack almost as much power as corded. When they're selling a corded vac two days later, suddenly the focus is on how the portable vacs just don't have the same power as corded, and for best performance you need to plug in. Also it has a long cord so no need to worry about "freedom" being constrained.

touchingcloth

Quote from: peanutbutter on June 15, 2021, 11:58:29 AM


I can't tell if the look on his face is because he wants to fuck that hoover, or because just has.

holyzombiejesus

Looks like a low-rent Dr Octopus.

Buelligan

If you have tall stairs, think about a little cunt that can sit midway safely.  Or a very long nosed cunt that can reach half way from top and bottom.  I hate cleaners that try to kill you by throwing themselves downstairs on top of you.  Bastards.  Failing that, I like the Henry-style ones.  People say they pump out dust - they do this because those same people do not empty them or clean and wash their filters.

Miele are good I've always found but they're not cheap. 

A lot of them have really shitty tools too (not Miele, they're top hole but other marques).  I see people spend a lot on a nice stylish plastic box and all the tools - things like the one for getting cat shite off of cushions and the joints - the little seals and clips that allow the brush arm to extend or attachment of various bits - all made of something as cheap, robust and short lived as toilet paper.  Madness. 

You have a very big decision ahead of you.

Blumf

The new Dyson has a fucking laser on it!!



It also tells you what sized dust you're sucking up. I mean, who doesn't need to know that?!!

Well worth 600 quid.

Buelligan

Could have done with that today, was down at the water trough when I noticed an enormous cloud of fine, glittering, silvery dust emanating from a weird extremely un-green old bastard's barn.  My immediate thought (given the man stockpiles banned weedkillers and insecticides - using them on his fields under cover of darkness - I know this), my immediate thought was that the old cunt's branched out into asbestos carving. 

touchingcloth

Quote from: Buelligan on June 15, 2021, 02:14:15 PM
If you have tall stairs, think about a little cunt that can sit midway safely.  Or a very long nosed cunt that can reach half way from top and bottom.  I hate cleaners that try to kill you by throwing themselves downstairs on top of you.  Bastards.  Failing that, I like the Henry-style ones.  People say they pump out dust - they do this because those same people do not empty them or clean and wash their filters.

Henry's filter has a label on it saying it can't be washed, but I've found it definitely can be in the sink with a small bit of detergent. Maybe I'm destroying its HEPA rating and blowing all the piss and the shit and the cancer and the AIDS and the Covids I suck up right back into the room, though.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Blumf on June 15, 2021, 02:21:02 PM
The new Dyson has a fucking laser on it!!



It also tells you what sized dust you're sucking up. I mean, who doesn't need to know that?!!

Well worth 600 quid.


Disco Dyson

I hope it is actually called that.

Sebastian Cobb

Dyson am the Bose of cleaners.

gabrielconroy

Got this bad boy on the advice of a vacuum cleaner repairman on Reddit and it has served me well so far (about a year into this exciting journey).

https://www.miele.co.uk/e/cylinder-vacuum-cleaner-complete-c3-powerline-sgdf4-10660810-p

Buelligan

Yeah, that's my Vacuum Charming, one day this Cinders will dance!

holyzombiejesus

Quote from: touchingcloth on June 15, 2021, 02:29:41 PM
Henry's filter has a label on it saying it can't be washed, but I've found it definitely can be in the sink with a small bit of detergent. Maybe I'm destroying its HEPA rating and blowing all the piss and the shit and the cancer and the AIDS and the Covids I suck up right back into the room, though.

There's a really helpful video showing you how to change a Henry's filter here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9bX2zg1F0s

Sebastian Cobb

I actually need to replace the piece of shit vac I was donated during a relative no longer needing it. It's not dead exactly but the plastic clasp had one of its lugs snap and I wasn't able to glue that back in a way that didn't then ruin the gluing when trying to put it together, so now it's held together with a strip of parcel tape.

A better reason for getting rid is because of the infuriating decision to make the carry handle big and in a position you always end up touching when going near it, and the cable return being triggered by it, so if you pick it up and move it then putting it down usually snatches the cable tight.

I notice there's some bloke selling more than one used henry with brand new filters and hoses/attachments for £50 on gumtree. Seems like it'd do. And the fact they're something you can seemingly buy and replace is good too.

holyzombiejesus

Quote from: Buelligan on June 15, 2021, 02:14:15 PM
If you have tall stairs, think about a little cunt that can sit midway safely.  Or a very long nosed cunt that can reach half way from top and bottom.  I hate cleaners that try to kill you by throwing themselves downstairs on top of you.  Bastards.  Failing that, I like the Henry-style ones.  People say they pump out dust - they do this because those same people do not empty them or clean and wash their filters.

Miele are good I've always found but they're not cheap. 

A lot of them have really shitty tools too (not Miele, they're top hole but other marques).  I see people spend a lot on a nice stylish plastic box and all the tools - things like the one for getting cat shite off of cushions and the joints - the little seals and clips that allow the brush arm to extend or attachment of various bits - all made of something as cheap, robust and short lived as toilet paper.  Madness. 

You have a very big decision ahead of you.

Think I'd prefer a bagless one but will look at that Miele one. Henry is so useless at cleaning the stair carpets that I'm wary of getting another that seems similar. Zero chance of going for a Dyson thought, that effer can effing eff right off, the cunt.

Buelligan

Heheh, absolutely.  Good choice on the Miele.  If Dyson made vacuum cleaners, they'd probably be cunts.

This thread has reminded me that the other day I was searching the internet for help with the brush bar on my Dyson DC25 and came across this forum which really confused me for a minute because I thought I was back on CaB. Can't remember seeing any other active(ish...) forums of this style still going!

Quote from: Emotional Support Peacock on June 15, 2021, 03:47:36 PM
This thread has reminded me that the other day I was searching the internet for help with the brush bar on my Dyson DC25 and came across this forum which really confused me for a minute because I thought I was back on CaB. Can't remember seeing any other active(ish...) forums of this style still going!

You should ask there.

Sebastian Cobb

There was an alright bit of fluff telly a few years ago called Hidden Britain By Drone where they flew some drones round some bits people don't normally see. I watched it because I love footage of abandoned places.

In a bit that smacked of paid promotion they did a tour of Dyson's top secret testing labs. One of the things I remember was them saying they tweak them for different markets, e.g. in Japan quietness is valued, but in the West people want it noisy, like a high-powered car. Which serves to answer any questions about whether they think they're not over-complicated, over-engineered, form-over-function pieces of shit.

Buelligan

Someone I clean for bought a very expensive (even for them) pos cleaner because it looked nice and promised quietness.  They never use it - I do - it doesn't work well and all its bits fell off and died within a year, absolute crock, still it looks great in the utility room they don't visit and it is quiet.  Not as quiet as it will be when it finally goes to landfill, of course.  That is when its existence will have reached optimum silence and therefore, value.