Author Topic: Star Trek: Desolation  (Read 3234 times)

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #120 on: August 30, 2020, 06:24:04 PM »
Picard: I'm feeling incredibly excited about our next mission, sure it'll be filled with plenty of life-affirming exploration of discovery!

Q: Life is a meaningless joke.

FAKE EDIT: New Trekker Deso Page Twat. Here's Petrils post from last page:

this weeks wind up was getting Quark to black up then go to Sisko's office. Bashir was pissing himself while diagnosing the specifics of the kicking

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #121 on: August 30, 2020, 06:47:44 PM »
Figures from the holodeck come alive again, but this time it's during Riker enjoying an Are You Being Served holodeck experience.

Geordi glues Wesley Crusher to a shuttlecraft seat and sets the shuttlecraft to autopilot onto a deserted planet before telling Chief O'Brien "One to beam up Chief."

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #122 on: August 30, 2020, 07:44:09 PM »
Harry Kim puts cotton wool in his ears to block out the noise of Tom Paris banging the Delaney Sisters next door.

Because of the cotton wool Kim totally misses the ship being attacked by sentient barstools. No one notices he’s missing.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #123 on: August 30, 2020, 08:30:19 PM »
Today's disciplinary: resolving the dispute over saving preferences locally on consoles instead of just logging in and saving it to your profile like you're meant to

Lemming

  • Squidgy Sleeping Bag Session
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #124 on: August 31, 2020, 03:43:12 AM »
That little kid Worf adopted into the House of Mogh discovers that Worf's discommendation inexplicably effects him too. A visiting Klingon ambassador angrily accuses him of being a "p'takh" who is "without honour". He is 12 years old.

Midway through a long moralising speech, Picard realises that even he doesn't agree with the shit he's coming out with.

O'Brien is possessed by a malevolent alien entity, a creature of pure rage that results in abusive outbursts. Keiko fails to notice any change from normal.

Kira has a once-in-a-lifetime moment of lucidity and realises that the "Prophets" are pretty clearly just weird wormhole aliens. She frantically slaps a Bajoran ceremonial drum until the uncertainty passes.


Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #125 on: August 31, 2020, 08:37:08 AM »
Gene Roddenberry: So I've got this idea for a new species of aliens for The Next Generation.

Producers: Oh that's interesting, Gene.

Gene Roddenberry: They're called the Ferengi, and they are kind of slimy and untrustworthy. Obsessed with money and visually their outstanding physical characteristic is they have giant noses.

Producers: Hmm. Don't you think people could read something into tha-

Gene Roddenberry: Giant ears?

Producers: Sold!

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #126 on: August 31, 2020, 09:11:22 PM »
RIKER'S QUARTERS.

RIKER: ENTER!

TROI: Hi Will. Thought I might stay the night.

RIKER: Nah mate just wanna play the saxophone on me own.

TROI: You are sad and our relationship is over.

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #127 on: August 31, 2020, 09:21:38 PM »
instant, maxwell house, lukewarm

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #128 on: August 31, 2020, 09:25:17 PM »
TASHA YAR: I am a trained actress, reduced to the status of a bum.

PICARD: One more episode, mate. The rest of us aren't happy with the situation either.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #129 on: August 31, 2020, 09:44:00 PM »
KIRK: Beam us up, Scotty!

SCOTTY: Aye aye Cap'n! But if you don't mind I'm going to not let you fully-materialise for a while for fun!

Three hours later.

SCOTTY: I'm enjoying this!

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #130 on: September 03, 2020, 02:58:33 AM »
Ensign Wesley Crusher experimentally downloads Space Grindr on his communications device and scrolls through the profiles in a quiet moment on the bridge while the Captain is in his Ready Room. He then notices he recognises the face on nearest profile is the Captain himself! He receives an unsolicited dick pic from said profile, and the message "How about this Captain's Log, eh Wes? How about a quick blowie?"

Wesley nervously closes down the app, but is then summoned into the Ready Room by the Captain over his com badge. He tentatively gets up and walks in to greet 'Captain Prick Hard'.

The Captain looks at Wes and points to his crotch, "Make it slow."

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #131 on: September 03, 2020, 03:01:28 AM »
DR. BEVERLY CRUSHER: I HAVE NO SON.

WESLEY: What was that, Mom?

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #132 on: September 03, 2020, 04:43:00 PM »
Darth vador: luke i am your fathor

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #133 on: September 05, 2020, 04:10:18 AM »
WORF: Sir! The Ferengi Ambassador wishes to make visual contact!

PICARD: Onscreen!

FERENGI AMBASSADOR: Picard, we meet aga-

PICARD: -FUCK ME, you're an ugly-looking cunt and no mistake!

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #134 on: September 05, 2020, 02:05:35 PM »
TWO middle aged Bajorans try to run a bakery on Deep Space 9 while slowly succumbing to alcoholism

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #135 on: September 05, 2020, 02:10:20 PM »
In an update for the new generation, the Kobayashi Maru exercise becomes a “discussion” with an #FBPE twitter account.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #136 on: September 08, 2020, 07:09:37 AM »
Riker switches off Data and puts him in a cupboard.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #137 on: September 10, 2020, 07:49:01 PM »
Saru has snuck his personal padd on shift so he can skive off and organise his SNES ROM collection

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #138 on: September 14, 2020, 08:03:16 PM »

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #139 on: September 14, 2020, 08:30:05 PM »
Is that Captain Edmonds in the chair?

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #140 on: September 14, 2020, 09:16:39 PM »
Is that Captain Edmonds in the chair?

Indeed it is Yer Edmonds. From House Party, I think?

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #141 on: September 15, 2020, 01:44:48 AM »
You spend the whole of your Pon Farr ritual wanking over pictures of Romulans.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #142 on: September 15, 2020, 03:18:41 PM »
nightshift is almost ruined when the long running Stellaris save is corrupted and they can't remember which backup they were meant to restart from

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #143 on: September 15, 2020, 05:11:42 PM »
Kirk uses Spock's ears as cocktail sticks for cheese cubes.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #144 on: September 15, 2020, 07:32:21 PM »
The rest of the crew hide from Harry Kim all week.

PlanktonSideburns

  • putting the 'rimmage' back in pilgrimage
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #145 on: September 15, 2020, 08:22:12 PM »
A privilege I am once again denied

Harry thinks

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #146 on: September 16, 2020, 03:18:34 PM »
During a quiet period Picard plays dominos on his own, while Riker is in the bog with the shits and Data is sorting his VHS collection into 'Fictional' and 'True Life'.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #147 on: September 16, 2020, 09:46:29 PM »
Chekov spots a 'Watch out! There's a communist about!' poster in the ship canteen.

Glebe

  • But when Bruce Wayne goes it's all gonna collapse.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #148 on: September 17, 2020, 08:48:18 PM »
"Hello, will you be long in that cubicle?"

"Just a minute, Captain. I'm having a piss, be out in a mo."

"Oh hi, Beverley!"

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #149 on: September 17, 2020, 09:30:05 PM »
Reg Barclay shrugs, abandons his dreams of adventure and settles for Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle from the replicator again

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