Author Topic: Star Trek: Desolation  (Read 7434 times)

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #270 on: October 16, 2020, 06:00:16 PM »
"Where's Harry Kim, Netflix?"

"He's in the Mess Hall, Captain. He's a drunk, dishevelled mess."

"Maybe we'd better start taking it easier on him."

"Perhaps, Captain... oh and by the way, stop calling me 'Netflix', it wasn't funny the first time."

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #271 on: October 17, 2020, 12:24:54 PM »
HARRY KIM: Look, I'm really sick of being treated like a joke by everybody!

JANEWAY: It's Harry Kim, everybody!

EVERYBODY: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #272 on: October 18, 2020, 12:33:22 AM »
LOCUTUS OF BORG: Alright lads, I'm back. Just gonna get an Earl Grey, hot.

RIKER: Back off, Captain! You've been assimilated!

LOB: 'Assimilated'?! Me?! Why, Will my good man, whatever gave you that idea?!

RIKER: This post isn't really going anywhere. DESO.

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #273 on: October 18, 2020, 12:38:26 AM »
Wesley Crusher pulls a space leech off his cock.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #274 on: October 18, 2020, 12:47:50 AM »
"Hello, I am Patrick Stewart, star of the space science fiction show The Star Trek!"

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #275 on: October 18, 2020, 12:50:20 AM »
Captain's Log.

5 inches in length, 2 inches in diameter, one solid piece.


Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #276 on: October 18, 2020, 11:38:27 AM »
Picard walks onto the bridge naked. Everyone is so shocked that they just pretend it's not happening. "Harry Kim," recites Picard, Hare Krishna-like, as he takes his seat in the Captain's chair, "Harry Kim".

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #277 on: October 19, 2020, 01:07:26 AM »
O'Brien's sideline doing house repairs down on Bajor is rumbled when he is stung on one of those cowboy builder programmes

the people presenting these shows are Bajoran and have first hand experience of living under occupation, paramilitary field operations and developing a kill count, so the confrontation scene is a bit different to Rogue Traders

petrilTanaka

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #278 on: October 19, 2020, 01:10:10 AM »
Harry Kim glitches the replicator into putting pubic hair in Tom Paris's sandwiches

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #279 on: October 19, 2020, 10:43:54 AM »
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy travel through time to save Wales.

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #280 on: October 19, 2020, 01:22:52 PM »
Arseteroids from Uranus destroy the starship Enterprise. All hands die screaming, apart from Wesley Crusher who leaves in a shuttle, his innumerable warnings ignored.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2020, 01:35:39 PM by Fishfinger »

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #281 on: October 19, 2020, 01:40:09 PM »
An edit bug infuriates a red-shirted technician, which doesn't help his long, slow suffering from an intractable alien disease.

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #282 on: October 19, 2020, 01:52:07 PM »
Picard curb stomps Wesley into mush.

MR WORF: Sir, if I may remind you that this is not the holodeck.

PICARD: Fuck. Well, anyway.

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #283 on: October 19, 2020, 02:32:20 PM »
Something inside a bin-bag screams as it's hauled across dank cobbles, the over-sized hatchet scraping ominously.

MR WORF: Sir, if I may once again remind you that this is not the holodeck.

PICARD: Fucking hell.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #284 on: October 19, 2020, 02:47:58 PM »
The Enterprise find themselves hailed by Captain Peacock of the BSS Grace Brothers.

"Commander, he wants to know if...we are free..."

Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #285 on: October 19, 2020, 02:53:36 PM »
The Tribbles are not enjoying this at all.

MR WORF: Sir, if I may...

PICARD: Yeah, I fucking know!

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #286 on: October 19, 2020, 04:04:27 PM »
KIRK: Fucking door is stuck halfway.

SPOCK: Just give it a shove, it's only made of plywood anyway.

dr_christian_troy

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #287 on: October 19, 2020, 04:53:57 PM »
PICARD: Christ, that alien looks like a wrinkly old foreskin

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #288 on: October 19, 2020, 08:03:36 PM »
Harry Kim livens up the bridge by shouting OI OI SAVELOY

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #289 on: October 20, 2020, 12:55:49 PM »
JANEWAY: Where's Harry Kim oh there he is floating by the window somebody must have ejected him.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #290 on: October 20, 2020, 01:20:30 PM »
The replicators go on strike, and only Riker knows how to cook.

O'Brien gets his legs stuck doing the splits while in the holodeck. Bashir knows how to unstick them, but for a joke doesn't say for a whole hour.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #291 on: October 20, 2020, 01:34:18 PM »
"Tea, Harry Kim, hot."

++DOES NOT COMPUTE++

"Did I say Harry Kim was 'hot'? Heh, what am I like, ahem!"

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #292 on: October 20, 2020, 03:45:46 PM »
Data has his ear pierced and has to wear a plaster when he's on duty

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #293 on: October 20, 2020, 04:21:29 PM »
After Enterprise passes through an anomaly, Picard's knob starts to dribble precum at an alarming rate, stumping Dr Pulaski.


petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #294 on: October 20, 2020, 10:17:47 PM »
the Bajoran far right starts agitating, lashes out at a reasonable criticism of their platform, and descends into infighting during the bit where they waltz into Sisko's office to tell the audience who the fuck they are. Quark's not even gotten to do his interruption before the slide into irrelevance is complete. Odo harrumphs in his office, oblivious, hoping it's a twee Bajorans with their own ways one or a Trill one this week.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #295 on: October 21, 2020, 11:35:04 AM »
"ENTER!"

"Captain, you called for me?"

"Yes, Will, there's something on my mind... who is this Harry Kim?"

"I don't know, Jean-Luc. I've heard him mentioned along with Jeffries Tubes a couple times."

"It warrants further investigation. Okay, back to work."

"Actually if you don't mind I'll call it a day and go and play the saxophone."

"As you wish mate."

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #296 on: October 22, 2020, 03:22:06 AM »
The Borg assimilate Harry Kim but then let him go because he's rubbish.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #297 on: October 22, 2020, 02:15:09 PM »
Picard's birthday party guest list:

Darmok
Jalad
Harry Kim
Lovely Deanna

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #298 on: October 22, 2020, 07:56:55 PM »
a new runabout is delivered, named The Canal

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Star Trek: Desolation
« Reply #299 on: October 22, 2020, 08:45:31 PM »
Harry Kim discovers his new girlfriend cheating on him with a Jeffries Tube.

“What?!?” he splutters. “How is this even poss—? You know what, never mind. Computer, transport me into the warp core.”

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