Infantile language 2020

[idunnosomename]

i love booze give it to me

[Hand Solo]

i love booze give it to me

I DEMANDS TO HAVES SOMES BOOZE LOL

Remember the cunt who would have 'A cheeky Volvic'?

[Sebastian Cobb]

i love booze give it to me

hard same

[flotemysost]

i love booze give it to me

I wouldn't mind if all of the aforementioned greetings cards with twee, giggly references to gin/Prosecco, or glittery champagne flutes etc. on them were redesigned to feature the above in block sans serif text, nothing else.

Same goes for any Father's Day card depicting a quaint watercolour of a foaming tankard of beer next to a cricket bat or whatever.

To be fair, there are plenty of other infuriating tropes in the greetings card/humorous fridge magnet etc. industry (has anyone ever actually laughed at an illustration of prim-looking 1950s housewife with a speech bubble saying something a bit sexual or sweary?) but that's another thread.

[idunnosomename]

unfunny sweary oldey-timey greeting cards probably belong here but I (optimistically perhaps) think they might be on their way out

[touchingcloth]

What the fuck is cheeky about Nando? Even when kittens does his Nando schtick it's not cheeky.

In fact, just the word "cheeky" takes the prize for this thread. Anyone who suggests a cheeky pint can go for a cheeky stint in a wicker man.

[JesusAndYourBush]

I like that. It's a good pun.

A lot of them seem good when you encounter them for the first time.  You might even find yourself thinking 'I'm having that', but before you get a chance to use it it gets used by every twat and his dog and it rapidly becomes annoying and pathetic.

Is 'Chapeau!' supposed to be new?  I've seen someone use it about 10 years ago.

[Annie Labuntur]

Is 'Chapeau!' supposed to be new?  I've seen someone use it about 10 years ago.

No. I brought it up in reply to iduunosomename talking about the days of totes amazeballs.

[Annie Labuntur]

unfunny sweary oldey-timey greeting cards probably belong here but I (optimistically perhaps) think they might be on their way out

They are funny and will never die.

[Hand Solo]

What the fuck is cheeky about Nando? Even when kittens does his Nando schtick it%u2019s not cheeky.

It's a way for fat people to normalise and minimise the fact they're having an entire meal between meals.

In fact, just the word %u201Ccheeky%u201D takes the prize for this thread. Anyone who suggests a cheeky pint can go for a cheeky stint in a wicker man.

I've certainly only gone into a pub and had one pint various times because it's started to rain or I'm tired during a walk or bike ride, but as far as 'going for a pint' deliberately going to the pub or meeting friends I'm definitely not having having one 'cheeky pint', I'm having a load.

The only bloke who's probably had a cheeky pint is Lembit Öpik.

[touchingcloth]

I've certainly only gone into a pub and had one pint various times because it's started to rain or I'm tired during a walk or bike ride, but as far as 'going for a pint' deliberately going to the pub or meeting friends I'm definitely not having having one 'cheeky pint', I'm having a load.

The only bloke who's probably had a cheeky pint is Lembit Öpik.

I think you have to compare the cheeky pint to the swift half. I think when someone accepts an invitation for a SH they would feel cheated if the drinking stopped after half a pint, whereas when someone invites you to enjoy some CP they would feel like some kind of line of debauchery had been crossed were a second pint to be ordered.[nb]Yes, CP.[/nb]

[Annie Labuntur]

[Hand Solo]

I can't enjoy some CP without full glassplay.

[phantom_power]

I actually don't mind "carbordeaux" either tbf. "Furlough merlot" also raised a brief smile when I heard it back in April.

See also quarantini, for any mix of available alcohol

[buttgammon]

All this baby talk around alcohol is just a way for middle-class people to excuse their problem drinking. "It's prosecco o'clock! I'm just off for a cheeky drinky-poo so I can wake up in a paddling pool of my own sicky-wicky."

[thenoise]

With apologies to Mr Cool J, i assumed thr GOAT thing was a reference to Kanye West's embarrassing hijacking of that award ceremony to impress Beyonce (a lady he wasnt even banging).

[kalowski]

"Ooh, I like to have my pens all lined up on my desk so I'm going to self diagnose myself with OCD even though I display no actual traits of the mental health disorder."

[Huxleys Babkins]

A lot of them seem good when you encounter them for the first time.  You might even find yourself thinking 'I'm having that', but before you get a chance to use it it gets used by every twat and his dog and it rapidly becomes annoying and pathetic.

Yes, like "Primani" ten years ago. Haha, the cheap, shitty clothes shop sounds like a boutique now! Now it's as much part of the vernacular as "Marks & Sparks", the joke long worn into dust.

[Hand Solo]

The GOAT thing reminded me, is the famous GOATSE man image pronounced goats or goatsy, a bit like Banksy?

One's a splayed arsehole, the other's an arsehole display.

[idunnosomename]

considering it was just someone trying to spell "goat sex" with the Christmas Island domain, you can say it however you want really

[Marner and Me]

Yes, like "Primani" ten years ago. Haha, the cheap, shitty clothes shop sounds like a boutique now! Now it's as much part of the vernacular as "Marks & Sparks", the joke long worn into dust.

Magic and Sparkle it's called now, we had a night club called Destiny and Elite, aka Desperate and Easy.

[kalowski]

Fuck off, Beer52.

The order is in, the beer nymphs* have started picking and packing, and there will be a handsome box of goodies heading your way very soon. We'll keep you posted.

*We know elves would be the normal choice for this kind of work, but we found they spent too much time singing and capering.

[Sebastian Cobb]

In fact, just the word "cheeky" takes the prize for this thread. Anyone who suggests a cheeky pint can go for a cheeky stint in a wicker man.

I think someone on here confided they thought 'one off the wrist' had similar connotations to a CP and were baffled as to why their mates were never very enthusiastic at the prospect.

[Rizla]

Fuck off, Beer52.

Jesus yes. I took up the free beer offer and have kept up the orders but this shit is trying my patience. I opted in to the cyber alefest as it seemed like a decent bargain for the beers but christ alone knows what sort of legendary bantersome fuckeriness is involved with actual participation. Eech. And do better on the snacks please cunts, a tiny bag of cardboard-tasting pitta chips ain't cutting the mustard.

[Sebastian Cobb]

cyber alefest

Ugh. This sounds like it should be a bag of cans while doing a messageboard/irc all-nighters but I know the reality is far worse.

[touchingcloth]

With Beer52, can you just keep ordering for free by signing up with a new card?

[flotemysost]

Fuck off, Beer52.

I cancelled my subscription a couple of days ago. Felt a bit bad (as I always do when you have to actually speak to a person to cancel something, the sneaky twats) but this has cemented the affirmation that I did the right thing.

[touchingcloth]

I cancelled my subscription a couple of days ago. Felt a bit bad (as I always do when you have to actually speak to a person to cancel something, the sneaky twats) but this has cemented the affirmation that I did the right thing.

I had an issue with a meal delivery company a friend insisted I signed up for a free trial with (Boxx Fresh, I think), but they wanted me to jump through hoops to cancel my recurring payment before the free trial was over, so I just asked the bank to do it instead. Would do again.

[Rizla]

With Beer52, can you just keep ordering for free by signing up with a new card?

Probably worth a try. We've done 2 free trials from the same address anyway.

I'm interested as to how they work their pricing with regards to the minimum unit pricing in Scotland. Last box I got had a lot of 6-8% beers, at an average of £2 per can or whatever.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Also, I know this is an idea that's been around for a few years, but ''shipping'' as in ''I support this fictional couple'' and then squashing the two characters' names into one adorable ship-name. "I'm totally a Reylo shipper, they're such a fucking mood, I stan'' FUCK AWAY WITH YE

Decades. It's been around for decades.

All this baby talk around alcohol is just a way for middle-class people to excuse their problem drinking. "It's prosecco o'clock! I'm just off for a cheeky drinky-poo so I can wake up in a paddling pool of my own sicky-wicky."

"Tee-hee, I'm prinking cardbordeaux at wine o'clock" yours is better

"Welp''

How very dare you remind me that that word exists. It's so goddamn smug and self-satisfied and it adds NOTHING, NOTHING, to a conversation. People just say it to turn themselves on over how intellectual and detached and cynical they are. If I ever hear anybody use that word in real life I'll see all black and there'll be nothing left when I come out of it.

"Ooh, I like to have my pens all lined up on my desk so I'm going to self diagnose myself with OCD even though I display no actual traits of the mental health disorder."

oh god can we please talk about how every little personality quirk has to be a disorder now

"people making noises really irritates me, I have misophonia" "the colours all have to be a certain way, I have OCD" "I can't do any housework, I have executive dysfunction" god get over yourselves, you're just looking for an excuse to be an arse to everyone around you.