Infantile language 2020

[ProvanFan]

My allergies

[jobotic]

Also, I know this is an idea that's been around for a few years, but ''shipping'' as in ''I support this fictional couple'' and then squashing the two characters' names into one adorable ship-name. "I'm totally a Reylo shipper, they're such a fucking mood, I stan'' FUCK AWAY WITH YE

I have no idea what any of that means. (aren't I great?)

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I have no idea what any of that means. (aren't I great?)

"Shipping" comes from "relationship" and is what you call it when you want two fictional characters to do the fuck on each other

[touchingcloth]

Hermione and Grotbags have been fucking for a while now.

[idunnosomename]

MY HEADCANON

[Huxleys Babkins]

oh god can we please talk about how every little personality quirk has to be a disorder now

"people making noises really irritates me, I have misophonia" "the colours all have to be a certain way, I have OCD" "I can't do any housework, I have executive dysfunction" god get over yourselves, you're just looking for an excuse to be an arse to everyone around you.

Christ, I remember when that Stephen Fry documentary came out and everyone decided they were bipolar.

[Icehaven]

Christ, I remember when that Stephen Fry documentary came out and everyone decided they were bipolar.

But only a bit. "Sorry, I'm a bit bipolar" Just enough to excuse being moody and feckless, not enough to actually be diagnosed or for it to affect their life in any significant way. I may be over-remembering here but weren't there even Tshirts with it on?
Edit: There still is!


And the piss taking variation;

[idunnosomename]

i'm a lil' bit HIV positive tee hee~

[kalowski]

I always like a dose of reality.
"I always like to have my stapler next to my sellotape, but that's my OCD!"
"Oh, you too. I like to switch the light on and off 50 times before I leave a room and last week I wash my hands so often I started to bleed. What are we like!!"

[Retinend]

MY HEADCANON

This is an amazing word - leave it alone, you bitch.

[Icehaven]

Trouble is there aren't any non-insulting terms for mild, self-diagnosed versions of serious afflictions for the idiots latch on to instead of aligning themselves with real sufferers. Case in point, what the pseudo-OCDers really are is slightly anal, but in today's (and yesterday's tbf) vernacular climate you can see why they're reluctant to use that. Similarly the "bit" bipolars are just trying to justify being unreasonable but again no one wants to think of themselves in those terms. Even rebutting their claims diplomatically is difficult, "Get over your fucking self" isn't exactly professional, is it? 

[Hand Solo]

[Marner and Me]

Some toff restaurant in London would sell that for £35 quid

[Hand Solo]

Some toff restaurant in London would sell that for £35 quid

I like Jon Richardson but I couldn't manage a whole one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[Icehaven]

He seems to have forgotten the number one rule of pretend OCD breakfasting; the beans should never be able to touch the egg. I've seen more peons on Four In A Bed lose their shit over that than nearly anything else (including pubes on pillows).

[seepage]

Probably he couldn't find a square ramekin.

Actually, beans in a ramekin - no, thankyou

[Hand Solo]

I'll think you'll find the beans aren't touching the egg, it's just the fact the egg albumen is square and blocky with the whiteness of the image blurring with the forced perspective.

Jon Richardson may be many things, unfunny, a Russell Howard apologist, cardigan botherer, a twat, a cunt, a pretend OCD sufferer, but even he - I think - would not be an anti-beans and egg apartheid advocate.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'll think you'll find the beans aren't touching the egg, it's just the fact the egg albumen is square and blocky with the whiteness of the image blurring with the forced perspective.

Jon Richardson may be many things, unfunny, a Russell Howard apologist, cardigan botherer, a twat, a cunt, a pretend OCD sufferer, but even he - I think - would not be an anti-beans and egg apartheid advocate.

You forgot " A Manc cunt who made a barely qualifies to be a joke comment about what a bad man Jeremy Corbyn is, that's why you should all vote Tory, then sitting back with a half smirk on his nauseating little ferret face, waiting for the applause on a Pre- Election episode of 'Have I Got News For You' ".

[Clownbaby]

Jon Richardson's wife Lucy Beaumont creeps me out because she sounds and seems exactly like him. Voice, height, facial expressions, mannerisms. Like a twin sister. Couples that look like twins, naaah

[Annie Labuntur]

I'll think you'll find the beans aren't touching the egg, it's just the fact the egg albumen is square and blocky with the whiteness of the image blurring with the forced perspective.

Enhance

[Rizla]

Jon Richardson's wife Lucy Beaumont creeps me out because she sounds and seems exactly like him. Voice, height, facial expressions, mannerisms. Like a twin sister. Couples that look like twins, naaah

Odds on they met when both on rebound - the phenomenom I call the Mirror Shag, whereby after a long-term relationship has ended, there is an urge to find and have it off with someone who looks very like you. Psychological implications are obvs really.

[touchingcloth]

Trouble is there aren't any non-insulting terms for mild, self-diagnosed versions of serious afflictions for the idiots latch on to instead of aligning themselves with real sufferers. Case in point, what the pseudo-OCDers really are is slightly anal, but in today's (and yesterday's tbf) vernacular climate you can see why they're reluctant to use that. Similarly the "bit" bipolars are just trying to justify being unreasonable but again no one wants to think of themselves in those terms. Even rebutting their claims diplomatically is difficult, "Get over your fucking self" isn't exactly professional, is it?

Instead of anal they could call themselves uptight or high maintenance.

[The Culture Bunker]

You forgot " A Manc cunt who made a barely qualifies to be a joke comment about what a bad man Jeremy Corbyn is, that's why you should all vote Tory, then sitting back with a half smirk on his nauseating little ferret face, waiting for the applause on a Pre- Election episode of 'Have I Got News For You' ".

He's from Lancaster, not Manchester.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Jon Richardson's wife Lucy Beaumont creeps me out because she sounds and seems exactly like him. Voice, height, facial expressions, mannerisms. Like a twin sister. Couples that look like twins, naaah

Jon Richardson looks * nothing* like Kristen Wiig via Celia Imrie!
Also, appears not to have that lovely, distinctive Hull accent.


_{They're both a pair of unfunny cunts, though.}

[Annie Labuntur]

Er ner, he's er see dee. Leave him alern.

Lucy Bermont, aka the sixth Spice Girl, Chip.

[touchingcloth]

Le sigh.

[Marner and Me]

You win the internet

[paruses]

You win the internet

Extra feelings of despair if it's "you, sir, win the internet!".

It's not really infantile language is it? I did hear a portmanteau for it once. Covers that sort of "pint of foaming ale" type stuff bores say.

[touchingcloth]

It's like that bacon bastard from off of twitter complaining to Tesco's that his six rasher pack of bacon only had five rashers, but in dogshit flowery language.

"Browsed I to the aisle famous for housing detectable selections of meats and cheeses, yet astonished was I whence to my immense disappointatude did I discover thst" OH FALL IN A CHIP FRYER.

[idunnosomename]

2020 MAN NO NOT AGAIN for everything unfortunate that happens atm