The Best Sexual Partner During the Pandemic is Yourself or Someone You Live With

[Blumf]

https://www.dudleynews.co.uk/news/18644986.coronavirus-wear-face-mask-sex-stop-spread---health-experts-say/

A sexual health charity has recommended that people wear face masks and pick positions where they are not face-to-face during sex to help manage the risk of coronavirus.
...
In the latest guidance, the charity advised the best sexual partner during the pandemic is yourself or someone you live with.

The reccommended that masturbation, using sex toys or participating in phone or online sex are recommended as the safest options - as these can be done at a distance from others.
...
Due to the ways Covid-19 is spread, the charity further recommends not kissing and wearing a face covering during intercourse.

[Kelvin]

I'm not too worried

I have an EXTREMELY LONG WILLY

[Chedney Honks]

2H2W

(too hot to wank)

[thenoise]

Hate wanking in the hot weather, leave a big sweat patch on the bed/sofa/bus seat (etc). Doesnt stop me tho does it.

Happy to contribute to another wanking thread. Its great having a willy isn't it?

[dissolute ocelot]

If having sex with a corpse make sure it died before February.

[JamesTC]

Wank for the NHS

[non capisco]

Take it from behind to save humankind.

[Sin Agog]

I showed this article to everyone at the nunnery which took me in after the shipwreck, but some of them are still unsure.  Any more similar links to help me make my case to the hold-outs?

[JamesTC]

Don't Eat Out to Help Out

[Better Midlands]

One up the bum, no harm done.

[Blue Jam]

Crank One Out To Help Out

[Johnny Yesno]

I live by myself and I'm feeling pretty stoked that my talents in two categories have finally been recognised.

[Captain Z]

If you can't think which of your friends is the best sexual partner, it's you.

[El Unicornio, mang]

A sexual health charity has recommended that people wear face masks and pick positions where they are not face-to-face during sex to help manage the risk of coronavirus.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Does this mean I'm allowed to do more wanking?

[JamesTC]

Does this mean I'm allowed to do more wanking?

Signed Anthony Hopkins.

[Cloud]

I have so many questions.

Do you put the mask on before or after signing the intercourse consent form?

Do you need a mask on for a wank?

[flotemysost]

This is like that Eighties pamphlet advising gay blokes to have a wank out of the window in order to avoid exposure to HIV. (I bet Gervais will incorporate this one into a routine in a few years, too.)

And I can only imagine the breadth of forthcoming porn plots based on the "someone you live with" element.

My flatmate literally just went on holiday to Italy in order to shag someone. There I was spending most of my adult life paranoid about STIs, and now it'll be just my luck if I die because someone else got laid.

[chveik]

And I can only imagine the breadth of forthcoming porn plots based on the "someone you live with" element.

that's already the case (or so I'm told)