Holiday Cunts

[Chedney Honks]

Too bad.

[Rizla]

Lindsay Buckingham considers rewrite

[Butchers Blind]

I will not be sharing my holiday sexual exploits for the gratification of the OP.

[Alberon]

My brother-in-law's family are on holiday in France. Both adults are permanently working from home from now on whatever happens with the virus and they specifically planned to come back just over two weeks before my nephew goes back to school. In short - they don't give a fuck.

[Chedney Honks]

Let's hope everyone on holiday makes it through OK! 😂😂😂

[BlodwynPig]

especially on those jam packed ferries

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I simply don't understand why my friend purchased non-refundable ferry tickets to Rotterdam in September for a fraternal weekend away when all of Europe's infection charts are pointing upwards again. May as well have just made a cash withdrawal and kicked the notes down a fucking well.

[idunnosomename]

So if you come home and dont into self-isolation: what? Do you go to prison???

[BlodwynPig]

So if you come home and dont into self-isolation: what? Do you go to prison???

10,000 pound fine

[bomb_dog]

(Mobile phone rings)
"Good afternoon Mr...John Smith... are you at home?"
"Yes"
"Thank you"
(Click)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

(Mobile phone rings)
"Good afternoon Mr...John Smith... are you at home?"

*carnival noise*

"Yes"
"Thank you"
(Click)

[Chedney Honks]

(no phone rings)
*Good afternoon Mr...John Smith... are you at home?*
"Yes, Mr...John Smith."
*Thank you, Mr...John Smith.*
(no click)
...
*fancy loads of pints, Mr...John Smith?*
"Don't mind if I do! Mr...John Smith!"
*LGP lol*

[idunnosomename]

10,000 pound fine

they say that about dog eggs but never happens

[flotemysost]

So if you come home and dont into self-isolation: what? Do you go to prison???

What are the rules on other household members, i.e. if one person in your household goes to a country where you need to isolate on return to the UK, does everyone else need to isolate too?

My flatmate is potentially planning to go to her native Brazil in a few weeks, so aside from the fact that I'm probs DEAD SOON it would be useful to know whether I'll need to sequester myself as well (I can work from home, so that's not a problem, but not being able to even go out for a walk for two weeks would be pretty fucking miserable for me at the moment). Can't find really any information online though.

Better start working on my ATHLETE'S BODY in the meantime

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What are the rules on other household members, i.e. if one person in your household goes to a country where you need to isolate on return to the UK, does everyone else need to isolate too?

I believe so.

[Sin Agog]

What are the rules on other household members, i.e. if one person in your household goes to a country where you need to isolate on return to the UK, does everyone else need to isolate too?

My flatmate is potentially planning to go to her native Brazil in a few weeks, so aside from the fact that I'm probs DEAD SOON it would be useful to know whether I'll need to sequester myself as well (I can work from home, so that's not a problem, but not being able to even go out for a walk for two weeks would be pretty fucking miserable for me at the moment). Can't find really any information online though.

Better start working on my ATHLETE'S BODY in the meantime

You might be alright so long as you and your flatmate refrain from giving each other Nuru massages for a few days after she comes back.

[Dex Sawash]

The technique requires one or more Nuru masseuses to rub their body against the client's body when both parties are nude and covered with   

PHWOAAR

an odorless and colorless massage lotion.       

Stinking purple goo or GTFO

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

The young, ambitious, radio airplay- seeking Madonna judiciously decides to edit song title.

[Norton Canes]

Original version of Hi-De-Hi theme considered 'too risque'

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

An affronted Cliff Michelmore angrily demands more family friendly retitling of the programme he'll be presenting.

[Satchmo Distel]

It would be hilarious if all these people are rushing back from France needlessly because they could easily have just got back later and lied about going into isolation. Presumably the government will have snoop squads to prevent that, like TV detector vans but called 'Death Virus Vehicles' instead?

[Satchmo Distel]

We're all going on a summer holiday
Then in isolation for a week or two
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday
Then stuck in fucking airport queue
For a day or two

We're going where the virus spreads highly
We're going where faces turn blue
We've seen it in the dailies
Now our deaths are due

[idunnosomename]

got myself a coughin', eatin', wastin', septic

viral load

[Satchmo Distel]

Carrie doesn't live her anymore
She's on a ventilator on the second floor.

[Alberon]

It's just a devil virus
With covid in your lungs
Beware the devil virus
It's gonna get you

[Glebe]

Madonna considers rewrite

[AllisonSays]

I've just got back from France and am, supposedly, in two weeks of quarantine from today along with my partner. I knew it was a possibility and I'm happy enough to do it for the sake of the social contract. I can work from home anyway. Also I bought a PlayStation. That being said, it seems to me to be completely and deliberately unenforceable, and really just a wee bit of political theatre designed to give the impression of considered and responsive action. I might occasionally get up early and go for a swim in the sea (100 yards from my house).

[Chedney Honks]

Way to infect the water supply.

Great work with the PS4.

[BlodwynPig]

I've just got back from France and am, supposedly, in two weeks of quarantine from today along with my partner. I knew it was a possibility and I'm happy enough to do it for the sake of the social contract. I can work from home anyway. Also I bought a PlayStation. That being said, it seems to me to be completely and deliberately unenforceable, and really just a wee bit of political theatre designed to give the impression of considered and responsive action. I might occasionally get up early and go for a swim in the sea (100 yards from my house).

No consequences for you. All good.

[AllisonSays]

How's the view up there on Parnassus mate? (I think I mean Olympus, actually. Shit.)