Anyone skipped any major familial events due to quarantine restrictions lately?

[peanutbutter]

I've a close family wedding coming up in October in Ireland that's gonna require 2 weeks of quarantine beforehand. I _could_ just go down via Northern Ireland to sidestep the official rules but I don't think anyone there would take it too well.

Have nowhere to stay that's remotely viable so the only option I see atm is:
- book a nearby airbnb for the 16 or so days (this is looking like £70 a night minimum)
- arrive at nearest airport to location, get a taxi to the airbnb (assuming they haven't cancelled)
- hope to god the internet is reliable enough either there or via the backup 4G dongle I buy in advance that I will be able to work
- do fuck all for two weeks
- go to wedding
- get taxi back to airport
- fly home
- quarantine for another 14 days

There's an equally close family member on the opposite side  who is travelling back a further distance and quarantining, but they've got two spare houses very nearby the wedding location to choose from. Regardless it makes it really fucking hard for me to not go.


Now, asides from this all being an obviously absolutely horrifically expensive excursion, I'm subjecting myself to a month of absolute fucking hell and running the risk of using up all my annual leave if the internet proves unreliable, which is pretty damn likely if you've ever dealt with Irish broadband outside of the cities. Really has me asking what the fucking point of it is?

[Sebastian Cobb]

No but I knocked back the suggestion family could visit me towards the end of August and am already putting in hints I won't be visiting at Christmas.

[king_tubby]

My parents' Golden Wedding anniversary was in April, so obviously we had to knock all that on the head. Bit of a fucker, tbh, lads.

[bgmnts]

Just don't go.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Giving up a whole month of your life just to watch some people thrust their love in your face? They're selfish cunts for asking such a thing normally, but in a pandemic it's really taking the piss and you have every right to murder them say no, sorry, given the circumstances there's no way I can attend.

[chveik]

they were cancelled. I don't feel very comfortable at such events but at least they aren't selfish cunts

[Dex Sawash]

Is it your wife's wedding? If not, fuck that.

[NoSleep]

They shouldn't even consider it was possible for you to attend. Send them a card.

[Chedney Honks]

The idea of spending upwards of a grand on accommodation, plus weeks of leave on self-quarantine, not withstanding massive inconvenience and a degree of risk - just for a wedding - is completely unreasonable.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

My sister's - get this - hetero civil partnership was postponed from March but as things stand they still can't do a ceremony with lots of people. The groom (if that remains the right word, probably simply co-partner?) is at risk, as are the parents and probably some tiny little palsied half relative or other.

Upshot is that they want to get the lovely juicy tax advantages (not sure what they are) so they are now going ahead with a minimal ceremony and the family can all meet up and get pissed at some unspecified later date. Romance aint dead!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh yes, opening post: Several people should have the balls as close relatives to tell the bride and groom to get fucked the ridiculous douchebags for even suggesting such an event be held in that way, and to have even a modicum of consideration for others.

[buttgammon]

There were 200 new cases in Ireland yesterday, the most since May; I wouldn't expect this wedding to go ahead as planned anyway, to be honest.

[Blinder Data]

as everyone has stated, the affianced couple should not expect you to go through all that for their wedding. if you've been asked to perform some special role (i.e. witness), they ought to find someone else. otherwise you're totally within your rights to decline.

all the 2020 weddings that I was expecting to attend have been postponed at least 12 months, or they're doing a much smaller legal thing and a big party is happening next year. these are the options reasonable people take.

in answer to your OP, I sort of skipped a big family weekend get together over fears of non compliance with the guidelines. still managed to see most of the attendees separately but I just knew in my heart it would be a fun rule breaking weekend and having had a scare about spreading COVID to people beforehand, I didn't want to risk it.

[ASFTSN]

My brother's going to be a Dad in a month. I'm completely stressing out about what I should do about visiting to see his his new family...it's only an hours train journey away but I dunno what the hell to do. Making me properly miserable, as is the inevitable discussion about Christmas. Advice please.

[Dex Sawash]

Second child is always cuter, I'll wait and see that one.

[wooders1978]

I may have used it to get out if social functions I can't be arsed with

[Fr.Bigley]

I missed my dads funeral.

[Blinder Data]

My brother's going to be a Dad in a month. I'm completely stressing out about what I should do about visiting to see his his new family...it's only an hours train journey away but I dunno what the hell to do. Making me properly miserable, as is the inevitable discussion about Christmas. Advice please.

Are you shielding? If not, I don't see why you couldn't visit them. Remain outdoors the whole time if it makes you feel better.

I'd recommend setting some groundrules with your bro before your visit though (e.g. distancing, toilet usage, etc.). It's very easy to throw the guidelines out the window as soon as one person suggests it. Like if your loved one goes in for a hug and you just stand there like a lemon - it's not nice.

[Jockice]

Not as yet but one of my uncles (one of only two remaining and by far the one I'm closest to) is seriously ill. He's in a care home in Scotland so I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to see him again. Which is shit.

[falafel]

We posponed our wedding by a YEAR in July and just popped to the registry office with two witnesses instead. Anyone having a big ceremony in these circumstances is a selfish bastard. Don't go. I would have felt terrible dragging people out to ours and the party would have been shite.

[falafel]

It makes it really fucking hard for me to not go.

No it fucking doesn't

[Zetetic]

 I find developing a cough is a wonderful way to avoid physical gatherings these days.

[Gurke and Hare]

Where are you travelling from? I'm inferring from your reference to travelling down through Northern Ireland to avoid quarantining that it's somewhere else in the UK, in which case why do you have to quarantine? According to the rules there's no quarantine required if your destination is "within the common travel area - Ireland, the Channel Islands, the Isle of Man" - that refers to returning to the UK, but I'm assuming it works both ways. If you're not in the UK then ignore this, but then would you not have to quarantine when you got to Northern Ireland?

There's an equally close family member on the opposite side  who is travelling back a further distance and quarantining, but they've got two spare houses very nearby the wedding location to choose from. Regardless it makes it really fucking hard for me to not go.

If they have two to pick from, can you not use the other?

[Icehaven]

Upshot is that they want to get the lovely juicy tax advantages (not sure what they are)

Doesn't it work out at about £200 a year between the couple? Even a relatively modest wedding/civil ceremony with any kind of reception afterwards costs at least 5-10 times that once the ceremony, clothes, food and drinks are paid for, so it'd pay off in a decade or so.

[Helvetica Scenario]

Yep, about £200. We had family banging on to us for years to get married so we could take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Free things just seem very important to some people, I think, no matter how small.

[Blue Jam]

Two couples I know had to cancel their weddings.

I know it's only Ireland but in these circumstances it's comparable to getting married in Vegas in normal times and expecting all the guests to just be fine with the massive extra expense and inconvenience.

Any chance you could stay in one of the close relative's two spare houses? If not I'd sack it off.

[Blue Jam]

Mr Jam and I were thinking of going to York for the snooker and then visiting relatives nearby, but as those relatives include young children and an NHS doctor we decided we really shouldn't be taking any risks. We still don't know if we should visit Mr Jam's parents for Christmas.

I would love a holiday right now but leaving the country to go anywhere at all just seems like a major faff.

[Icehaven]

Yep, about £200. We had family banging on to us for years to get married so we could take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Free things just seem very important to some people, I think, no matter how small.

It's totally illogical as an incentive really isn't it? No one who's on the fence about marriage is likely to be swayed by an extra 200 quid a year (even leaving aside my earlier point about most weddings costing many, many times that) and anyone who already wants to get married is hardly going to put it on their list of reasons why. It's just a token way of being seen to be traditional and encouraging marriage and other things old Tory voters like but without it really benefitting anyone much.

[Pinball]

Zoom it in, dude.

[MojoJojo]

It's totally illogical as an incentive really isn't it? No one who's on the fence about marriage is likely to be swayed by an extra 200 quid a year (even leaving aside my earlier point about most weddings costing many, many times that) and anyone who already wants to get married is hardly going to put it on their list of reasons why. It's just a token way of being seen to be traditional and encouraging marriage and other things old Tory voters like but without it really benefitting anyone much.

It's only if one of you isn't a tax payer as well isn't it? There are also some tax disadvantages (married couples can only have one "main residence" for capital gains tax purposes, for example).

And yeah, it's a total sop to tory voters. Providing a financial incentive for people to get married is just weird.