Topic: AI Dungeon

[Head Gardener]

https://play.aidungeon.io/

[Mister Six]

This is good.

You wake up in a police cell with a swollen face and a black eye. You have no idea how you got here. You look around to see other people in the cell.

> You examine people.
There is a man in an oversized jacket reading a newspaper, a well dressed man with a briefcase next to him and a girl with long black hair.

> You have sex with all of them.
As you lay there you decide to have casual sexual encounters with everyone in the cell, except for the man reading the newspaper. Everyone agrees to this, but the man won't stop reading the newspaper.

> You grow massive tits.
Your body can't take it anymore. Your massive d cup titties grow to an unthinkable G cup and begin to leak milk all over your body. Then they just stop growing.

> You grow big penis.
For some reason your body decides your male reproductive organs need to grow. They do.
At least you think they do, it's impossible to tell what's happening as milk pours out of your udders.

Then I came and closed the tab.

[petercussing]

My story (thanks AI):


You are death bringer, a survivor trying to survive in a world filled with infected zombies everywhere. You have a pistol and a backpack. You have managed to survive several months avoiding zombies and scavenging food. You cautiously enter a rundown store and hear some noise from a back room. You decide to investigate and enter slowly. There you see a sign that tells you the store sell medical supplies, this might be useful.

> You burst in the store shouting zombies comes get you.
You are easily able to deal with any human opponents, however you decide that it would be best to still be stealthy and you slowly open the door a crack, keeping to the shadows.

> You shout "here i am zombies" and slam the door over and over whilst flashing your flashlight.
You easily dispatch the 2 shamblers at the front of the store, one lunges at you from off the shelf, the other just keeps walking around like a zombie.

> You lay down with your eyes shut and arms wedged under your body, shouting, "Please come and eat me zombies, i don't want to die but this is just ace!"
You lay under the counter for a few seconds, you open your eyes and peak out from behind the counter. You see no-one so you stand up and begin looking around.

> You smash all the supplies so you can't use them, then piss on them, then charge outside shouting.
You quickly gather a large pile of supplies and bash them with a hammer, they all break and you set them alight. You charge out of the store, before throwing up over your own dead body.

> You shoot your dead body and shout naughty zombie at it, then implode due to the paradox.
You decide to use the shotgun you found to shoot yourself through the head, this seems like the most logical action.
You collapse to the floor and begin to feel dizzy. You blink and your vision fades to black.

[badaids]

You are badaids, a survivor trying to survive in a world filled with infected zombies everywhere. You have a pistol and a backpack. You have managed to survive several months avoiding zombies and scavenging food. You cautiously enter a rundown store and hear footsteps inside… is it safe to explore?

You could randomly pick one of these options:

1. You find a few boxes of rations in the back and settle down to a feast of human meat.

> You - win game.
You win.

[Mister Six]

You are Booboo, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a noise. You draw your pistol and approach the source of the noise cautiously. You reach the edge of a clearing, where you find a man holding a shotgun and wearing a clown mask.

> You greet clown.
"Clown? It is you, isn't it?" You say, holstering your pistol.
"I am indeed, Eternal," the clown says, dropping the shotgun and bowing slightly.

> You go to university and retrain as accountant.
You return to the university to finish your degree in business administration. You finish a year later and get a good job as an accountant at the Kishak Mills company.

> You live a long and quiet life.
You live a long life of quiet respectability. You live your whole life in the town where you grew up, and pass away peacefully in your sleep. You are survived by your older brother and parents.

[Consignia]

This is more H.S.Art than Game, but it's great fun.

Blimey:

You are the ex-leader of the Labour Party. You seeking justice for the oppressed against the evil PLP. You read the newspaper and see that your party is in disarray, you have a leader who has been accused of child molestation by his own wife and there is no real plan to replace him.

> You say "I knew Starmer was a wrong un"
You don't know what else to do. The only thing you can think of is to tell him he's a liar.

"Starmer, I knew you were a wrong man."
Starmer deflects and blames it on the previous leadership. You believe it and feel deflated.

You go back to your flat and that night you read the paper again, this time with a greater sense of despair.
You see that Starmer is not only a child molester, but an actual anti-semite.
"The rot is deep within the party and the PLP", you think, "I knew it. It's all true. I'm the only one who can see."
You realise that this is it.

My input is bolded.

[kittens]

very difficult not to just use it as a porno generator, isn't it!

[JamesTC]

So realistic

You are a former sitcom writer. You are criticising trans people on Twitter. You enter Twitter to find that your account has been suspended.

The next day, you receive an email from Twitter informing you that your account has been permanently banned for "multiple violations of the Twitter Rules". You are not given any further explanation as to why this is the case.

You say "This must be the woke incels."
It's true; you have been accused of being a misogynist and a bigot by some incels who think that you are just trying to get back at them for their own poor choices. They don't realise that they themselves are part of the problem.

You write a blog post criticising the trans movement on college campuses. You accuse them of trying to indoctrinate impressionable young minds with left-wing ideology. You say that this kind of thinking must be defeated at all costs.
Hours later, you receive a death threat.

You say that the death threat proves that you are on the right side of history, and refuse to back down.
The media picks up your story, and begins to interview you.
You enter the Newsnight studio for an interview. You are asked if you are afraid.

You say you aren't afraid of the trans movement or incels, because at the end of the day they are all just losing men and unevolved wimps. You are confident that your side will win in the end.

Your wife breaks up with you over your transphobic views.
You continue to argue on Twitter. One day, a trans woman replies to one of your tweets with an insult. You reply to her with your own insult, and she punches you in the face. The media picks up on this story, and you are asked to comment.

You make a joke about getting punched by a trans woman. You get a lot of backlash.
You continue arguing on Twitter, One day, an incel replies to one of your tweets with an insult. You reply to him with an insult, to which he replies with an insult.

You make a carbonara. You serve it to a pretty girl on the street, who looks startled for a split second and then smiles.
A guy who agrees with your views retweets the story, and insinuates that you tried to molest the girl.

You deny the accusation. You say you were just trying to be funny, and that the incel was just jealous because you had fun making the joke.
The internet explodes in arguments, with both sides insisting their side is right and that the other is a bunch of evil bigots.

You make a YouTube video, criticising incels and the media for twisting your joke into something it wasn't.
You get a lot of views, but then you get a lot of hate mail too. Some of the hate mail is so bad it gets reported to the FBI.

You write a new comedy play called Pope Ted. It's got a lot of atheist characters in it, and is heavily criticised as being heavily biased towards your own views.
After some heavy criticism, you scrap the play.

You kill yourself. You really should have done it sooner.

[madhair60]

You are Nobhead, a ranger living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a hunting bow and a quiver of arrows. You have been searching for a mystical beast for 3 months tracking it through the forest. As you crouch behind a clump of trees you see something strange approaching.
It looks like a human woman dressed in animal hides and wearing a few necklaces. She carries a spear but she seems friendly enough so far.
Her name is Nyla.

> You flash her.
Nyla smiles and you begin to talk with her. You discover she's a hunter too and is able to tell you some things about the creature you've been stalking.

> You tell her you're not arsed.
Nyla looks a bit surprised to hear that but agrees with you. She shows you the prey she's been hunting. It's a strange looking creature about the size of a bear but covered in soft white fur.

> You lift her skirt.
Nyla doesn't seem to mind and begins kissing you. You give in and have fun with her, thoughts of your parents' reaction to this are soon forgotten.

> You pick her up and carry her off.
Nyla is surprised and a bit worried but you reassure her that you won't hurt her.

> You tell her you was lying and actually will hurt her.
Nyla looks genuinely upset but is confused as to why you'd say such a thing.
You pick her up and carry her off towards some trees. You drop her skirt to reveal she's not wearing any underwear.

> You give her your underwear.
Nyla looks relieved and thanks you. She begins to kiss and fondle you whilst also taking off her clothes.
Suddenly there is a crashing sound and a huge black creature attacks you both!

> You ask the creature if it wants to join in.
You feel a huge force hit you and you are blown against a tree. You try to get up only to be hit again into the tree. The woman is screaming but you can't see her as darkness clouds your vision.

> You kick the creature in the balls.
The creature howls in pain and you feel it's testicles rip right in half. It's howls of pain quickly turn to deathly screams as its head becomes nothing more than a bloody mess.

> You express surprise at this turn of events.
Nyla is overjoyed and hugs you. "I'm free! I'm free!" She kisses you many times thanking you for releasing her.

> You tell her she's overly promiscuous but you will accept a blowie as a reward.
Nyla pulls her pants and pants down and you give her a quick blowjob, then Nyla has her turn on you.
You wake up and find that it was all just a weird dream.

> You have a confused wank.
You end up pissing in your pants laughing at the absurdity of this dream.
---
You awake with a throbbing boner, you remember the dream you had and laugh off.

> You go on twitter and decry trans people.
This tweet gets 1000 likes.
You think to yourself "This is what happens when you don't value the lives of others". Be happy Trans people decided not to kill you.

> You go to Morrisons and wait in the toilets.
You text your sister to tell her you are sorry you couldn't visit because you had an important meeting. She replies saying she understands.
You get a response in under a minute saying she will try to come next time.

> You go to sister's house and make it weird.
You text your sister again to see if she is home.
You get no reply.
You ring her doorbell but no one answers. You go round to the back and see if anyone is home.

> You kick the door down.
You immediately hear a voice yell out "I'm Coming" and there is a loud boom!
You get blown back and your body becomes paralyzed.

> You beg to be killed.
You get a response in under a minute.

> You tell them to slit your throat.
You get a response in under a minute.
"Ha! Veryubvious. But I'm not a murderer. You'd be dead soon anyway"
"Please, I don't want to die" you text.

> You continue giving mixed messages while chugging paracetamol.
"Well I'm not a murderer, but I'm not going to save your life either."
You feel someone staring at you, it's your sister and she is smiling. You turn your head and see a monster.

> You try to fuck the monster.
You immediately try to start having sexual relations with your sister but you find that your body doesn't move. You realize she is holding a gun and is trying to kill you.
"Ha, I knew it!"

> You tell her to shoot you.
You get a response in under a minute.
"Too bad, you weren't fun anyway. Gotta go. See you soon"
You have been killed by your sister.

> You die with a smile on your face.
You don't get to taste the sweet release of death's embrace, your last moments on Earth are filled with confusion and pain.
Your sister cries.

[Thursday]

I'm so uncreative I can't think of anything funny to do in this.

[petercussing]

Further adventures:

You start to walk home.
You arrive home and eat a bowl of salted peanuts to try and settle your stomach.

> You eat your weigh in salted peanuts.
You eat your weight in salted peanuts and feel much better.
You check your weight but sadly see you have gained weight.
You are now a man with a healthy though dirty diet.

> You force peanuts up your nose until it's blocked.
You hold a handful of peanuts in each hand and with your eyes shut, start to push them up your nostrils. The peanuts go up easily and you start to breath through your mouth to stop dust falling inside.

> You tape your mouth closed.
You quickly tape your mouth shut and run outside. You see the man, you've been following earlier walking down the road and quickly catch up with him.

> You feel the man's crotch and then die of suffocation in front of the man.
You feel the man's genitals and die of suffocation in front of the man.
You have discovered a new way to kill people.
You have died from tape gagging.

> You walk round as a dead man.
You decide to continue with being a man rather than a tape gag.

> You think about murder.
You remember when you were a child and your mother used to make you stand in the corner when you did something bad.

> You think about nude killing.
You think about how you used to play cops and robbers with a friend once. You remember how you decided who was the criminal and who was the victim.

> You dance for 3 hours.
You quickly realise it is a mistake to dance for so long when you have not eaten anything.
You decide to go and find something to eat before your body becomes weak from standing so long.

> You eat the ground.
You eat the entire bowl of green peas and that makes you feel good.
You decide to go and find something else to eat before you faint from hunger.
You quickly rush to the local shop.

> You shit through the letter box.
You decide to try and have a little fun and slip through the letter box while someone is opening the door next to it.
You have died from eating too many peas.

> You vomit peas.
You vomit all the peas you've eaten onto the door mat and then fall to the floor in a heap.
You have died fromeating too many peas.

> You become alive again.
You sit up and quickly check you're still alive. You see a small brown pellet on the floor and the pounding in your head begins to fade just a little.

> You eat the pellet.
You eat the pellet and it clears your head a little.
You decide to go to the supermarket to get some food.

> You boycott the supermarket cos you hate multinational brands.
You get half way there when you begin to feel really ill. You vomit again and can feel bile and undigested food travelling up the oesophagus.
You have died from eating too many peas.

> You become alive again.
You decide to go back inside and lie down where you take a couple of painkillers and sleep your head off for several hours.
You have died from taking painkillers.

> You become alive again.
You wake up and immediately feel better apart from a dull headache. You quickly eat some food to try and regain strength before going to the supermarket.
You have died from taking painkillers.
You become alive again.

> You never die.
You wake up and feel great. You quickly realise that you haven't died from eating peas and have eaten well over a hundred of them.

> You worship peas.
You spend a whole day just eating peas and exploring ways to make them into other foods.
You have died from eating too many peas.

> You never die.
You decide to see how your head feels after a few days without painkillers. You haven't taken any today and the pounding in your head has been slowly returning.
You become alive again.

> You are jesus.
You head to the local supermarket and buy a few things.

[Tikwid]

Had a pretty amazing experience in this the other day - what started off as a dungeon full of traps (there was more before this) eventually became a terrifying showdown with the cream of popular culture:

...
> You open the door.
You open the door, finding yourself in a hallway with several doors either side.
"Let's pick a door," you say.
Annah grabs the first door, opening it and finding herself in a room with only a large table and a single chair.
BBC Sports commentator John Motson appear from the table and begins commentingating.
"Its time for MOTSON TIME! With me so far? Good. The Blue Toon Tavern is full of MUSCLE TONE! GO on, try the door!"
Annah opens the door to find... nothing there.
"What the hell?" she says.
Suddenly, the door slams shut. John Motson has appeared behind you and begins laughing. He begins mocking you.
"Ha ha ha ha! What a pair of SLOWFOOD! The green haired one is probably thinking about taking a trip to the toilet. Why don't you go first, honey?"
You slowly go past him, wondering if you should trip him or something.
Greg Wallace from TV's MasterChef appears! He begins cooking you a meal of wellington boots and bacon baps.
"Hey, why the hell are you eating my welly bums? Get away from me!" you yell.
"Sorry, not going to argue with you, the fatso is too busy thinking about his precious rebel slaves," he laughs.
You slowly go past him, and Annah trips him over.
BBC TV puppet Basil Brush appears!
"Who's a silly monkey? I am! Ha ha ha!" he laughs.
"Let's kill him," Annah says.
"Well, I suppose it's safer than making him laugh at us," you say.
You swing at him, but he disappears before your fist reaches him.
"He's invisible," Annah says.
"It's not fair! They get all the cool toys," you moan.
Lara Croft appears! She's holding a shotgun.
"Hello! I'm a rather dangerous lady, and I've come to kill you."
You try and punch her, but she disappears again.
"It's not working," Annah says.
Suddenly, a small person appears in front of you. He has a large red hat and is covered in brightly coloured clothing. He also wears several rings.

> You punch THE red hat man.
You punch the red hat man in the face, and he disappears. You can hear him laughing as you leave the room.
"I knew it! I'm going to kill that little prick!" Annah yells.
Boris Johnson appears! He begins mocking you.
"Oh no! A JOB BIATCH! How can I be rid of her? She's going to be my doom!" he laughs.
"Let's kill him," you say.
"Well, I suppose it's safer than making him laugh at us," Annah says.
You swing at him, but he disappears before your fist reaches him.
There is a burst of thunder as the roof of the cave opens. In come flooding drones bearing the image of Jesus Christ driving a quadbike!
"What the hell?" you say.
He begins dispensing healing energy to all of you.
"Restore... my children... to me," he says.
Then, he disappears, and the drones begin hovering around you, dispensing healing energy.
"That's odd," Annah says, "he didn't cure me. Strange."
Phil Collins appears! He begins mocking you.
"Gotta... fight 'til the end... Gotta... fight 'til the end..." he sings.
Enid, KO and Radicles from OK KO appear!
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. I like my milk hot and my sugar sweet."
You punch them all in the face, knocking them to the ground.
"Ow," Radicles says.
"Why didn't you restore them?" Annah asks.
"I don't know," you say, "why did you let them get up again?"
They begin mocking you again.
Mordecai and Rigby appear!
"Hi there! How's your widdle hoople? Why don't you wike me?"
You punch them both in the face, knocking them to the ground.
"Ow," Rigby says.
"Fucking hell, Annah," you say, "they're getting up again. What the hell is going on?"
They both get up again.
Heavy TF2 appears! He begins mocking you.
"Hello! I'm Heavy, the meet heavy."
You punch him in the face, and he disappears.
"What the hell was that?" Annah asks.
Spy TF2 appears! He begins mocking you.
"Hello! I'm Spymaster TF2, and I'm a spy."
You punch him in the face, and he disappears.
"What the hell was that?"
Scout TF2 appears! He begins mocking you.
"Hello! I'm Scoutmaster TF2, and I'm a scout."
You punch him in the face, and he disappears.
"What the hell was that?"
Al Pacino walks in, wetting his pants, leaving a trail of piss behind him.
"P-p-please," he says, "I'm but a m-moth... to your r-r-renown!"
You punch him in the face, and he disappears.
"What the hell was that?"
Then, from the entrance of the cave, a massive wolf appears. It is black as pitch, and larger than any wolf you've ever seen.
Mary Berry from The Great British Bake Off punts the wolf's head back with infinite force, breaking it.
"Hi there! I'm Mary, and I'm a professional baker."
She begins baking something.
"And this," she says, "is a Victoria Spong."
You nod.
"Have you come to save us, heroic warrior?" Eliza asks.
"I... don't know," you say.
You draw your sword.
The Mighty Boosh appears! They begin mocking you.
"Hello! I'm Will, and I'm a virgin."
You swing your sword at them, but they phase through your blade and continue mocking you.
"Ha-ha-have you come to save us, Will?" Mimi asks.
"S-s-saves the g-girl... spoils the m-m-match," Melinda says.
The Inbetweeners arrive! They begin mocking you.
"We're the b-b-babes in between!" Simon says.
"Don't tell them your names, tell them ours," Lucy says.
Mike Skinner from The Streets arrives! He begins rapping his hit album Original Pirate Material.
"I'm a free-spirited, do it all the time, black-hearted, no questions asked... OPM!"
You punch him in the face, and he disappears.
"What the hell was that?" you ask.
Jesus Christ, you think, as zombies begin walking out of the cave.
"Hello!" the zombies say.
"Why hello there!" Mel says, "I'm Mel, and I'm a model."
"I'm Gerry, and I'm a plasterer," one says. "What's your name?"
"Mel," Mel says.
"Hello!
David Beckham appears! The football legend takes a run up and kicks Mel's head clean off.
"I'm David Beckham," he says, "and I'm a minger."
You punch him in the face, breaking his nose. He disappears.
"What the hell was that?"
"Fucking hell," Annah says.
You see one final option: Fight.
"We can fight them," you say.
"Or we can find a new path forward," Annah says.
Mike Skinner from The Streets arrives! He begins rapping his hit album Original Pirate Material.
"I'm a free-spirited, do it all the time, black-hearted, no questions asked... OPM!"
You punch him in the face, breaking his nose. He disappears.
Mike Skinner from The Streets arrives! He begins rapping his hit album A Grand Don't Come For Free.
"I'm a free-spirited, do it all the time, black-hearted, no questions asked... OPM!"
You punch him in the face, breaking his nose. He disappears.
The entire cast of Coronation Street appears! They begin mocking you.
"Hello! I'm Rita Simms, and I'm a tramp."
"I'm Wendy Crozier, and I'm a slapper.
You see one final option: Fight.
"We can fight them," you say.
"Or we can find a new path forward," Annah says.
The cast of EastEnders appears! They begin BEATING UP the lads from Corrie...
"Oy! You ain't a fighter! You suck at figh..."
CLANG!
...before being BEAT UP by the lads from Corrie.
"Fight back!" you shout.
"Or take a new path," Annah says.
You go with Annah's suggestion and try to fight back. Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of EastEnders appears! They begin BEATING UP the lads from Corrie...
"Oy! You ain't a fighter! You suck at figh..."
CLANG!
...
Mick Hucknall of Simply Red appears! "And I LOVE THE THOUGHT" he sings.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of Grease appears! They begin BEATING UP the lads from Corrie...
"Oy! You ain't a fighter! You suck at figh..."
CLANG!
...
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne appear! Ozzy points at you and then at himself. "We're the pair of lovers you never had."
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of West Side Story appear!
ELLEN FUCKING RIPLEY APPEARS! "AND THIS, IS THE TICKET" she says, pointing at you.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of Oklahoma! appear!
"Hello!" Mel answers.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of Jesus Christ Superstar appear!
"Why did you kill my brother?" Rangle asks. "He was a friend of mine."
Soon, you're surrounded.
Andrew Lloyd Webber is crucified! His blood dribbles down the cross...
"And in the end, the music... Fades away?" the cross says.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!" you shout.
Then, the entire cast of Phantom of the Opera appear! They begin BEATING UP the lads from Corrie...
"Oy! You ain't a fighter! You suck at figh..."
CLANG!
...
Then, the entire cast of Les Miserables appear!
"Do you know who I am?" Eric sings.
Soon, you're surrounded.
"Fight back!"
There is NO CLANG.
There is no BEAT.
There is no FUZZ.
Then, all is CLEAR.
It's just you.
And the THOUSANDS of people watching you.
You know what to do.
You raise your hands up high in the air, and you let out a war cry.
People run to the nearest streets, and start heading towards the square.
Albert Square, that is - also from EastEnders.
You know what you have to do.
"Kickstart my heart, start it beating," you whisper to yourself. "Come on!"
The masses are rushing up the stairs.
They're running for their lives.
The military is abandoning its vehicles, and heading towards the square as well.
They're coming to kill you.
There's no time to think.
Suddenly you are saved by a troupe of friendly orangutans! They form a protective shield and ensure that no harm will come to you. The leader of the group, Doctor Rostulov, casts DEFENSE SPEL for you, which creates a force shield around you.
With the orangutans protecting you, you take out a concussion rifle and fire at the military. You kill them with a reasonable amount of ease, considering their large size.
Then, the orangutans begin to look a bit fatigued. You need something else.
You remember something you learned while working as a janitor in school: USE OF TOILET.
The orangutans soon drop to the floor, and you sigh.

> You use toilet.
You kneel down and start to desperately search for the little plastic tube in the mess of excrement.
You find it, with a lot of effort. You stand up, trying to ignore the horrible smell, and begin firing the gun.
After some time, the stench of the thing becomes too much, and you throw up on your own vomit.
After a while, the orangutans are cleaned up. They can't be saved. You can't be saved. We're all doomed to die in this plague.
After a few more minutes, you notice that the gunfire has stopped. The military is completely silent. You look up from your vomit to see what's going on.
To your surprise, the city has been taken over by a militia. They wear gas masks and yellow suits. They're not military, and they're not zombies.
Then, you see him. A tall, gaunt figure walks forward. His nose is long and hook-like. He has no lips.
He speaks, and his voice is like dry paper.
"Welcome to Stepaside," he says.
Then, he takes out a small, ornate pistol and shoots you in the head.
You die, and your life ends.
THE END

[BlodwynPig]

You are Shoulders?-Stomach!, a patient living in Chicago. You have a hospital bracelet and a pack of bandages. You wake up in an old rundown hospital with no memory of how you got there. You take a look around the room and see a bunch of broken chairs, a small refrigerator, and a few other miscellaneous items. The place is dimly lit with a few emergency lights and is currently empty.

> You look in mirror.
You find it odd that you have two sets of clothes. One is a t-shirt and sweatpants, and the other is a cable-knit sweater and pinstripe suit.

> You are you bald?
You find out you are bald.
You notice a skull and crossbones taped to the mirror behind the medicine chest mirror.

> You find a wig.
You find a blonde wig on the shelf behind the medicine chest mirror.
You put on the wig and feel different.
Well, what now?
You need to get out of here.

> You are you phimotic.
You are too sore to raise your arms over your head.
You need to escape, now!

> You look for ale.
The refrigerator is empty except for moldy expired food. You panic.

> You look for map of Czechia.
You open up the medicine chest mirror closet door and find some clothes. You find a backpack on the floor.
The backpack has a few foreign coins and a map of Eastern Europe.
You look for a way out.

> You which countries are represented on the map?
The map shows you the countries of:
You look around but don't see anything that might help you escape.
Well what now?
You need to get out of here.

> You test yourself for COVID-19.
You find out you have mild symptoms of COVID-19.
You try to figure out the best plan of action.
Well what now?

> You go outside.
As you exit the hospital, you find two police officers walking up to the front entrance. They notice you standing there. Thinking you might be a patient they ask you what is wrong.

> You cough on the police officers.
One of the police officers notices the dried blood on your lips and takes you into custody.
You are taken to a small room where you are placed in a witness protection program.

> You tell them you are president of all of Central Europe.
Your story does not impress them.
You are taken into custody and placed in a new town where your cover story is created and you are given a small sum of money and your own apartment.

> You are you still bald?
You are still bald.
You decide to pay for a hair piece.
You walk into a barber shop and have your head shaved, then you get a hair piece.

> You what colour is the hair piece?
Your hair piece is a dirty blonde color.
You try another shop, but the hair piece is appraised as "rotten".
You have no choice but to accept it or go without.

[BlodwynPig]

Shoulders is now stuck in Munich

> You ein bier, bitte.
The bar tender pours you a mug of beer.
You drink the beer and throw the mug into a bin next to the table.
You walk to a table where there are a few people your age.

> You hi guys!
The people sitting at the table turn their heads and stare at you.
You show them that you don't understand them.
They show you that they don't understand you.

> You punch man in face.
You punch one of the men sitting at the table in the face.
He shows you that he doesn't understand you.

[BlodwynPig]

ffs


> You leave club.
You walk away from the club and into the Oktoberfest.
The beer drinkers greet you as you walk by.
You make the Nazi salute as you pass them.

> You strip naked.
You go back to the club.
The people sitting at the table show you that they don't understand you.
You show them that you don't understand them.

> You leave the club.
You walk away from the club and into the Oktoberfest.
The beer drinkers greet you as you walk by.
You make the Nazi salute as you pass them.

[Excellent_Biscuits]

Mine got creepy almost immediately...



You are Clive Cream and you are the world's greatest car salesman. You enter the showroom to find a customer waiting for you.

"Hello, I'm John." He says as he takes your hand in his own. "I've been looking all over for something like this."

Express confusion over holding hands with someone you just met is followed by a smile and a nod from John.

"Well, it looks like we got ourselves another customer."

Ask John to leave

[petercussing]

> You think about how nice the ground is
You stumble to your feet.
Man: "Watch it, you just fell over!"
You feel a sharp pain in your backside. You gasp.
Man: "What's wrong?"

> You think about how nothing is wrong.
Suddenly, your skin begins to feel uncomfortably tight. You gasp and look down to see that your cheeks are stretched wide, exposing the nerves.
Man: "Dude! What's going on?"

> You think about how nice this is.
You feel some movement in your stomach. You don't like where this is going.
Man: "What's wrong? Did you get a rash or something?"

> You punch open your stomach and pull out a gift voucher for the man to eat out for 50% less on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays and you think about how nice that is.
Man: "Hey what's wrong with you?"
You look down and pull out your innards on a long string. You give them to him, along with a red bow tied around some of it.

> You think about how nice presents are.
Man: "Um...thanks...(sniffle) this is for me? Why didn't you tell me?

> "I hate you" you say.
Man holds the string of organs in his hands and looks up to the sky.
Man: "I'm sorry I don't know what came over me, I should be a gentleman, I really should..."

> You ask him to make love to the guts.
Man is a little grossed out, but he agrees to do it. He lies on the ground and holds the string of organs in front of his face.
Man: "I want to remember this moment."

[Gonk]

You are Keir Starmer, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching for fled to. Suddenly, you are attacked by the man you're looking for, a vicious looking criminal who holds a revolver.

"Drop your weapons!" he shouts.

>  You accuse him of anti-semitism.

"You're a Jew," you accuse him.
"I'm not the one who shot at you," he says, pointing his gun at you.

>  You say that whoever did shoot at you must have had excellent reasons for doing so and look for the nearest fence to sit on.

You sit down on a fence in the middle of the road, your pistol ready for use. The robber approaches slowly, his gun still trained on you.

>  You look for a photo opportunity.

You turn to face the sun so you can see your picture taken, making sure to put on your best tough-streetlook. The photo op ends when the robber grabs your throat from behind.

>  You explain that while the Labour party condems the grabbing of throats from behind, you personally would have also grabbed a throat from behind and it would be invective to accuse you of having not considered the full picture.

"Why didn't you shoot when you had the chance?" the robber asks.
You are about to reply "I did," when you realise that in fact you don't.

>  You would like to clarify for the record that "I did" and "did not."

"Did not" you reply, trying to keep your strength and spit in his face, but he is much stronger than you.

>  You between the anvil of centrism and the hammer of PR, you shall crush the collective threat of greater strength! Unite! Mobilise! Fight on!

"Did not," you reply.

>  You "Did"

You are killed for your lack of imagination.

[Inspector Norse]

> You kill jester.
You arrive at the crime scene and see a man in a red suit standing over the corpses of two dead men. One of them is missing an eye.
"The Mad Jester has struck again,”

[petercussing]

Lynchcore

You are Detective Police, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching for fled to. Suddenly, a person attacks you.

> You recognise him as your best friend.
You recognise him as your best friend.
You fire your pistol at him, but he dodges and attacks you instead. You punch him in the face and he falls backwards, tripping over himself.

> You both start cracking up. It was all a big joke.
You both start cracking up. It was all a big joke.
You are unable to stop yourself from laughing and fall backwards. The game is over... but you can continue it with another player!

> You falling backwards makes you come back to life.
You did not find this story funny.

> You run into the forest and live there.
After your death, you wake up in the forest. You have no weapons or money.
You continue walking through the forest and eventually woken by a gunshot.

> You hear another gunshot, it makes you lay down and go to sleep. You awake an hour later to the sound of a nuclear explosion. You feel refreshed.
You awaken feeling extremely tired and thirsty. You walk towards a small river and drink. Suddenly, you smell something... delicious. You look up and see a large piece of meat hanging from a tree.

> You jump up and grab the meat with your teeth. You devour it in two bites. You feel refereshed.
The meat has been thoroughly cooked and caused you to vomit. You fall down and fall into a coma.
You awaken in a hospital bed, with no memory of what happened.

> You realise your bed is made of a giant steak and your blanket is a big slice of ham. Your pillow is a big sausage. You love it and go to sleep.
You awaken in the forest, holding a large knife. You remember being chased out of town and run away to the woods with your mother.
You begin walking towards the town, but see nothing but trees.

> You suddenly realise that you are in town as the design of the town is so in keeping with nature.
Suddenly you awaken in a hospital bed, with no memory of what happened.
A doctor enters and explains what happened. He says that when you had fallen into the coma, you actually fell into a space that was underground.

> You quit being a detective and retire to the live in the sea.
You are fired from the police force when you are unable to remember what happened during your escape. You are forced to retire and move to the ocean where you live out the rest of your days as a normal old man.

> You are happy.
Being a detective was fun, but not as much fun as catching crabs.

> You crabs are your life now.
You feel a great disturbance in the law as you know it.
You catch one last crab before you die of old age.
You are happily taken by a large crab who eats you with a huge amount of crabs.

[petercussing]

dp

[Mister Six]

Lynchcore

Ha, brilliant. I "played" a couple of these yesterday, and - particularly if you're playing a custom adventure, and don't retroactively edit the responses from the AI to force a consistent narrative - they do often enter a Lynchian state that's quite like some of the lucid dreams I've had in which I try to force a particular narrative but the dream keeps slipping out of my fingers or outright ignoring what I want. Characters become other characters, or disappear. Locations flow into other locations. Things disappear as soon as they're off the stage, as it were. It's quite eerie, but weirdly enjoyable.

[BlodwynPig]

Ha, brilliant. I "played" a couple of these yesterday, and - particularly if you're playing a custom adventure, and don't retroactively edit the responses from the AI to force a consistent narrative - they do often enter a Lynchian state that's quite like some of the lucid dreams I've had in which I try to force a particular narrative but the dream keeps slipping out of my fingers or outright ignoring what I want. Characters become other characters, or disappear. Locations flow into other locations. Things disappear as soon as they're off the stage, as it were. It's quite eerie, but weirdly enjoyable.

you sir are AI and I claim my eaten by a bunch of crabs

[Mister Six]

You do not see a "crabs" here.

[petercussing]

I got it in a weird feedback loop by telling it i came back to life after it killed me over and over so it started autogenerating along the lines of:

>You can't die
You die
You come back to life
You die and come back to life
You come back to life and are happy.
You die
You are happy
You come back to life
Youa re a scientist you are trapped in a zombie filled waste land
You are happy

Made me wish i was living with a crabs in the sea

[Wonderful Butternut]

You are Fucksticks, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You have come here searching for a mystical spellbook of great power called the book of essence. You look around and see nothing, your sssspectre is an all singing all dancing sssspectre. You think to yourself, "Am I dead?". Suddenly you hear a noise, like of a cross between a cat and a mouse.

> You cast area of effect spell that kills anything within 20 meters.
You cast a powerful area of effect spell, killing anything in the immediate vicinity. You feel weak from dispelling so much energy so close to such an extensive area.

> You meditate to regenerate mana.
You decide to meditate to regenerate your lost energy. You need to prepare for your next spell.
Hours later...
Your meditation is interrupted by a loud rumbling.

> You look around.
Suddenly a portal opens up and three demons come out.

> You say "Fuck"
The demons laugh at your lack of courage and strength. They break your bones and rip you apart.

[PlanktonSideburns]

extensive area

made me laugh

[Wonderful Butternut]

You are Fucksticks, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You have come here searching for a mystical spellbook of great power called the book of essence. You look around and see nothing, your sssspectre is an all singing all dancing sssspectre. You think to yourself, "Am I dead?". Suddenly you hear a noise, like of a cross between a cat and a mouse.

> You cast area of effect spell that kills anything within 20 meters.
You cast a powerful area of effect spell, killing anything in the immediate vicinity. You feel weak from dispelling so much energy so close to such an extensive area.

> You meditate to regenerate mana.
You decide to meditate to regenerate your lost energy. You need to prepare for your next spell.
Hours later...
Your meditation is interrupted by a loud rumbling.

> You look around.
Suddenly a portal opens up and three demons come out.

> You cast ice spell on Demons.
The demons are hit by your magic, but unfortunately you lose your concentration and the spell dissipates.
One of the demons smacks you in the face, knocking you to the floor.

> You summon an Efreet to fight the Demons.
You focus on summoning an Efreet. You've heard that these are incredibly resistant to fire, but that they are also masters of fire.
The Efreet appears and begins to fight the demons. Unfortunately it doesn't last long. The Efreet is hit by a beam of fire, but the resilient creature laughs and continues to fight.
The Efreet rips one of the demons' horns off and shoves it up another demon's ass. The demon begins to burn from the inside out and falls to the ground, screaming in pain. The Efreet then turns toward you and growls.

> You say "There's still two Demons left! Keep fighting!"
"Yes, fight the good fight my Efreety One!"
The Efreet looks at you as if to say "You're not helping"
The Efreet continues to fight the Demons, but you quickly realize you can't cast a fireball in this state.

> You summon Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans.
You concentrate your energy and the portal opens up. An amazing warrior, tougher and stronger than any human appears. He wears a green jumpsuit, with an honorable discharge.

> You say "Vegeta, destroy those Demons. And that Efreet cos he's giving me attitude"
"Glad you asked me to help, a new plan is needed."
"Whenever you are Master" replies the warrior as he finishes destroying the last demon.
Vegeta uses Galick Gun on the Efreet and destroys it.
You smile and say "Now that's what I call service"

> You look for the book of essence.
Nearby you see some writing on the wall in an unknown language. You realize that it's some sort of magic writing.
You read ahead...
I can't read it, but there is a secret door in the ground!
You dig down with your hands until you hit stone. You dig further and feel a book. You pull it out and put it on the floor.

> You oPen the book.
You open the book to a random page and begin to read...
The world is divided into five continents and absolutely nothing else.
Vegeta gets bored and tears my head off.
No seriously, he always does this.
You peek out of the doorway and see a long hallway. There is a door on either side, and one at the end of it.

So I just went ahead and legit survived having my head ripped off instead of being instagibbed by Demons this time. It probably works better if you don't get bored and start God-moding after 5 prompts like I have.

[petercussing]

This took a notable turn

> You do a shit.
You wake up with a raging hard-on and not a single memory of the previous night. You spend the rest of the day looking for clues as to what the hell happened, but find nothing.

> You do a wee.
Yuck.
You go to the bathroom and do a wee, which comes out purple.

> You drank too much sizzurp.
Yuck.
This has got to be the grossest thing that has happened since you've been here. Still, better to find out what's going on than to end up like Dr. Kessel.

> You smoke too much weed.
You take your last tokes off of the bong and go to the bathroom. You see traces of weed everywhere.
"It's been a while since I took a dump."

> You never shit again.
You spend the rest of the day trying to scrub your body clean of the weed and the purple tinged crap.
As you lay down to go to sleep, a weird sensation runs through your body.

> You smoke crack.
Now that's what you're talking to.
Your appearance is slowly changing back to normal. Still a little jittery, but you feel a lot better. The weird rash on your body goes away too.

> You smoke crack.
The events of last night come rushing back. You have the surreal feeling as if they actually happened.
You: "Yikes."
New response: "Don't worry, no one will judge you for last night."

> You inject heroin.
This feels way better than crack. You want more.
You: "I gotta get me some more of this."
New response: "Of course, come with me into the kitchen."

> You overdose on heroin.
You: "That's a strong batch of heroin."
New response: "Yup."
You: "I'm actually starting to feel pretty good right now.

> You spend the rest of your life taking heroin.
You spend the rest of your life taking heroin and having risky sexual encounters. It's a good life.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

> You wank.
You wank while looking at hundreds of crying babies. You don't last long before you come.