Replace a sitcom cast member with a character from sci-fi or action

[Fambo Number Mive]

Are You Being Served - Mr Grainger replaced with an ED-209

Breaks down lift doors and crushes Mr Lucas.

"Could I have a blue suit please?"

"This is Mr ED-209, our senior men's sales assistant. Mr ED-209, please serve the gentlemen and try not to kill him."

"GIVE ME YOUR INSIDE LEG MEASUREMENT, YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY"

"38cm"

"GIVE ME YOUR INSIDE LEG MEASUREMENT, YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY"

"It's 38cm"

"I AM NOW AUTHORIZED TO USE DEADLY FORCE"

"Captain Peacock? Could you..."

The customer is blasted into strawberry jam. Close up on Mr Humprises wincing as the ED-209 fires bullets into the customer.

Shot of Mr Mash cleaning up the blood.

Later on the ED-209 sits drinking tea with the others.

[Annie Labuntur]

"GIVE ME YOUR INSIDE LEG MEASUREMENT, YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY"

"38cm"

Warwick Davis?

[Fambo Number Mive]

I got inside leg measurement confused with waist. Bugger.

Mind you, I imagine it wouldn't disqualify me from a job at Grace Brothers, given how they mainly seem to want to con the customers. Even Mr Humphries.

[batwings]

"I trust things are agreeable, Master Dave?"

(C3PO as Trigger).

[Shit Good Nose]

"I trust things are agreeable, Master Dave?"

(C3PO as Trigger).

"Yeah, this is the original R2 unit.  I've only replaced the body shell, internal workings and memory banks."

IMMEDIATE CUT TO END CREDITS


(Trigger as Luke Skywalker)


(yes, I know it's the opposite of thread requirements)

[Lemming]

(FATHER TED is doing the racist Chinese impression)

TED: Haha! Come on Worf, lighten up!

(TED turns and is horrified to see CHINESE FAMILY stood at the window)

TED: Wh... Worf, there were Chinese people there!

WORF: You have dishonored this parish! You have dishonored our faith! You have dishonored me!

[DistressedArea]

The Brittas empire but Gordon Brittas is the Obelisk from 2001.

[Glebe]

DEL is the xenomorph from Alien.

DANNY DRISCOLL: We want our money, Del.

DEL as the xenomorph from Alien: SCREEEEE!!!

DANNY: Right we're fucked.

[kalowski]

Col. Kilgore replaces Corporal Jones.
"Warden Hodges don't surf! If I say it's safe to surf Walmington-on-Sea, it's safe to surf Walmington-on-Sea!"

[Inspector Norse]

COMPO: The budgie's off in the woods now, tha'll never find it.

FOGGY: Never fear - with some springs on those wellies we'll have you checking the foliage. What do you think, Cleggy?

CLEGG: GET TO THE CHOPPER!

[Inspector Norse]

COMPO: Doesn't tha want to see what I've got under me hat?

NORA BATTY: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR WAR... OR YOUR PRESIDENT

[Inspector Norse]

MARINA: But Howard, what if someone sees us?

HOWARD: Don't worry my love, nobody could possibly spot us in this bush.

MARINA: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

[Alberon]

Theme music plays.

June is sitting outside and the Xenomorph comes to join her. His chair hilariously collapses when he sits in it

"Xenomorph and June"

June: Don't forget, Xenomorph, we're having your impossibly angry boss, Sir Dennis, for dinner.

Xenomorph: SCREEEE!!

June: No, Xenomorph! We're going to eat dinner with him, not eat him as dinner!

Xenomorph: (resigned) Screee.

LATER

Sir Dennis: Thank you for dinner, that was not awful.

June: We've enjoyed having you over. More wine?

Sir Dennis: Well, I'm driving, but it's still the seventies, so not a problem.

Xenomorph pours some more wine but accidentally spills it on Sir Dennis.

Sir Dennis: You clumsy oaf! (He bats away Xenomorph's ineffectual attempts to mop it up) And to think I was about to not slash your salary in half, Xenomorph! Starting Monday report to the post room as deputy letter opener!

Xenomorph: SCREEE!!! (His second set of teeth extend)

June: No, Xenomorph! Remember what I told you. Let's not have a repeat of the Hendersons' party.

Sir Dennis: And as for that roast lamb, it tasted like rubber!

June: You what!?!

June suddenly splits down the middle revealing rows of six inch dagger like teeth. She rips Sir Dennis' legs off before starting to chew on his head.

Xenomorph: Oh yes, I forgot to mention my wife was the alien from The Thing, Sir Dennis.

Sir Dennis: (Muffled) I'm just glad I didn't mention the carrots!

Xenomorph: What are we going to do now, June?

June: It's not a problem. I'll replicate him overnight then give you a pay rise in the morning!

Xenomorph: JSCHOON!!! Ahem, I mean SCREEEE!!!

[DistressedArea]

Linda: Mr Brittas, there's a donkey in the swimming pool again!

Gordon Brittas:

[Fishfinger]

Doctor: Are you now or have you at any time been a practicing homosexual?

Davros: WHAT WITH THIS MOTORISED LOWER TORSO???


It's Porridge, not Doctor Who, you see.

[kalowski]

Zaphod Beeblebrox and Mildred.

[DistressedArea]

Cheers but Woody Harrelson has been replaced with Woody Harrelson from the Hunger Games.

[DistressedArea]

The Good Life but Margot has a laser.

[kalowski]

Brush Strokes but Karl Howman replaced by the computer in Demon Seed.

[rack and peanut]

Cassandra miscarries in the Enterprise's sickbay. Later, counsellor Troi coaxes Rodney's feelings out by locking him in a turbolift.

[rack and peanut]

WHALE BIOLOGIST: "and the fifth reason whales kill is for the sheer fun of it, so we should leave them extinct in the 20th century where they belong."

SPOCK: "Better do as he says, he's a whale biologist."

EARTH IS DOOMED

[greenman]

Vicar of Dibley: The villagers soggy bottoms have stained the pews again.

[dissolute ocelot]

"Xenomorph and June"

Miranda, but with the Xenomorph. Waiting 3 series while it repeatedly falls over, till it finally has the courage to eat Tom Ellis.

[willpurry]

FOGGY:  And of course anybody not meeting your standards of physical perfection will be eliminated.
DRAX:  Crusher, expel them from the front door.  Crusher, you obey ME!

[Absorb the anus burn]

[Inspector Norse]

ROY BATTY: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

BASIL: What was that?

ROY BATTY: Que?

BASIL: *slaps him*

[kalowski]

BLACKADDER
What else have you got in your astoundingly inventive repertoire, I wonder? Aaah, a brilliant drunk Glasweigan, no doubt. An hilarious black man: 'See you Jimmy, where am dat watty-melon?' Oh, fabulous. I can't wait for your side-splitting poof, and that funny little croaky one who isn't anyone in particular, but is such a scream. And most of all, I like the one you do all the time, the fatheaded German chamber pot standing in front of me.

MYSTIQUE (as Blackadder)
What else have you got in your astoundingly inventive repertoire, I wonder? Aaah, a brilliant drunk Glasweigan, no doubt. An hilarious black man: 'See you Jimmy, where am dat watty-melon?' Oh, fabulous. I can't wait for your side-splitting poof, and that funny little croaky one who isn't anyone in particular, but is such a scream. And most of all, I like the one you do all the time, the fatheaded German chamber pot standing in front of me.

[Fambo Number Mive]

HANNIBAL LECTER: Look, I'm a doctor! I'm a doctor and I want my sausages! And I want to eat your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti!

BASIL: My liver? Fava beans? Where do you think you are, the Continent? We serve house red, house white or a glass of the Major's piss. And if you don't like that, may I suggest you get a plane to France or Italy where you can eat fava beans until your arse falls off!

HANNIBAL LECTER (garrotes Basil in the dining room, Polly and Sybil throw a table cloth over the two men struggling

SYBIL: Now, who wants to hear about my uncle and the crate of brown ale?

Diners groan while blood seeps out from under the tablecloth

[Glebe]

[Bazooka]

Haha.