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March 28, 2024, 09:53:18 AM

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Redundancies

Started by popcorn, August 24, 2020, 02:25:55 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

popcorn

Dear colleagues,

Due to increasing financial pressures within the organisation, it has been agreed that we will be making the entire HS Art workforce redundant as of today.

Please clear your desks by noon.

May I take this opportunity to thank you for your service to Cookd and Bombd and I wish you all the best with your careers in other forums.

Fuck's sake, I just turned down a lucrative position on ResetEra.

rack and peanut

Have to find another job I'm shit at

Ferris

When do we get our mega redundancy payouts?

Cuellar


Glebe

I knew this was coming.

Bazooka

Your having a laugh bossman, I only just moved to a new bungalow so I could be closer to the forum.

popcorn

Unfortunately yes some rumours have gone round about having made some offers to a few individuals about new positions we have created, I am not in a position to comment on those rumours.

Ferris

Just tell me no one got a better offer than I did.

touchingcloth

Do we get a set amount of severance pay or does it depend on years of service?

pancreas

He is getting rid of us all so we can't whistleblow about all the sexual abuse that's been going on here. Well, I'm not going quietly.

Quote from: pancreas on August 25, 2020, 09:53:08 AM
He is getting rid of us all so we can't whistleblow about all the sexual abuse that's been going on here. Well, I'm not going quietly.

I'm gonna try and get these trending over on Twitter.

#justiceforpancreas

#stopbummingpancreas

#pancreasnotwankreas

Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: popcorn on August 24, 2020, 02:25:55 PM
Dear colleagues,

Due to increasing financial pressures within the organisation, it has been agreed that we will be making the entire HS Art workforce redundant as of today.

Please clear your desks by noon.

May I take this opportunity to thank you for your service to Cookd and Bombd and I wish you all the best with your careers in other forums.


Do we get any say in which other forum we get transferred to?

I only find sexist, homophobic and racist jokes funny and this is apparently 'problematic' for some reason according to management in Comedy Chat.

I don't do politics or what's in the news this week so that's General Bullshit gone.

I have no interest in pubs and when it might be safe to drink in one again so Remain Indoors isn't of much interest.

I don't only like bands you've never heard of so Oscillations is out.

I think Nintendo is for Paedos so Live Die Live won't have me.

I don't have a telly, have no time for books and find movies boring as fuck so that's Picture Box, Shelf Abuse & Deeper Into Movies of no use.

Myself and Photoshop aren't even in the same timezone let alone acquainted with one another so Wimblewromg's a bust.

That just leaves the Chris Morris folder and I've never been in there so fuck knows what it's all about.

Any chance of a management buyout of H.S. Art? Ferris has got a bank loan so he'll be good for a few quid.



Ferris

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 25, 2020, 01:55:45 AM
Do we get a set amount of severance pay or does it depend on years of service?

It is based on performance, which is why my offer of 4 pounds and as many jellybeans as I can carry is so much higher than the rest of you clowns.

Quote from: Captain Poodle Basher on August 25, 2020, 11:40:39 AM

Do we get any say in which other forum we get transferred to?

I only find sexist, homophobic and racist jokes funny and this is apparently 'problematic' for some reason according to management in Comedy Chat.

I don't do politics or what's in the news this week so that's General Bullshit gone.

I have no interest in pubs and when it might be safe to drink in one again so Remain Indoors isn't of much interest.

I don't only like bands you've never heard of so Oscillations is out.

I think Nintendo is for Paedos so Live Die Live won't have me.

I don't have a telly, have no time for books and find movies boring as fuck so that's Picture Box, Shelf Abuse & Deeper Into Movies of no use.

Myself and Photoshop aren't even in the same timezone let alone acquainted with one another so Wimblewromg's a bust.

That just leaves the Chris Morris folder and I've never been in there so fuck knows what it's all about.

Any chance of a management buyout of H.S. Art? Ferris has got a bank loan so he'll be good for a few quid.

Sounds like you're jonesing to get into Ask Aubrey and then, "oh look, someone's mysteriously desecrated the memorial. Whoever could have done such a dreadful thing to this tribute to a beloved poster, please ignore the paint all over my hands, etc."

Well, I'm onto you, sunshine. Abusing our trust like that. You're off to Mumsnet. No arguments.

Tony Tony Tony

Quote from: pancreas on August 25, 2020, 09:53:08 AM
He is getting rid of us all so we can't whistleblow about all the sexual abuse that's been going on here. Well, I'm not going quietly.

From what I heard you didn't cum quietly either.

Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on August 25, 2020, 03:10:19 PM
Sounds like you're jonesing to get into Ask Aubrey and then, "oh look, someone's mysteriously desecrated the memorial. Whoever could have done such a dreadful thing to this tribute to a beloved poster, please ignore the paint all over my hands, etc."

Well, I'm onto you, sunshine. Abusing our trust like that. You're off to Mumsnet. No arguments.

Really? Mumsnet?

Well, if I must.

Glinner good, Trans bad, Tinkly little laugh, Glinner good, Trans bad, Pom Bears, Glinner good, Trans bad, Penis Beaker

Right, I'm acclimatised now so off I go.

Glebe

Who's next to be made redundand?