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March 29, 2024, 01:44:48 AM

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Building my own moat.

Started by Glebe, August 27, 2020, 05:28:05 PM

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Glebe

Just building my own moat.

The enemy is retreating.

popcorn

he'll never get anywhere with his moat.

Glebe


Ferris

Will end in disaster, mark my words.

popcorn

How's the moat going Glebe?

Coming along nicely I assume... not.

Glebe

Really disappointed in the lack of enthusiasm for my new moat.

Really disappointed.

popcorn

Nice big moat is it?

Good and deep?

Keep the enemy at bay?

The brutal truth is that you would be better off attending to those crenellations.

People are beginning to talk about how poorly maintained the crenellations are.

Lemming

Outlying farms report that the enemy is approaching, and has an "overwhelming" force. The enemy commander is quoted as saying "only a seriously good moat could stop me".

Ferris

Quote from: Lemming on August 28, 2020, 05:45:09 AM
Outlying farms report that the enemy is approaching, and has an "overwhelming" force. The enemy commander is quoted as saying "only a seriously good moat could stop me".

Ok it's really important you think back - did the commander say that in English or Macaque? Just try to remember.


Lemming

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on August 28, 2020, 10:58:15 AM
Ok it's really important you think back - did the commander say that in English or Macaque? Just try to remember.

I don't know. The farmers who reported this to me relayed it in Macaque, because they were Macaques. But as you know, they're defectors who are on our side.

Ferris

Quote from: Lemming on August 28, 2020, 04:00:10 PM
I don't know. The farmers who reported this to me relayed it in Macaque, because they were Macaques. But as you know, they're defectors who are on our side.

...ok, I think the important thing now is that nobody panics.

Glebe, you sort out the crenellations because they are a state at the moment. Lemming, you make sure that door is locked, then take a shovel down to the moat and just sort of do it up a bit. I'll stay here and eat these biscuits to make sure I have enough energy to flee in case I need to.

Everyone got it?

Lemming

Started digging and was immediately informed by one of our Macaque friends that the moat is not allowed to be this deep. We are in violation of a treaty with the Macaques. Don't worry, I'm filling in the moat as we speak.

Ferris

Really? I don't remember signing... oh for fucks sake this treaty is written on rice cakes!

Quick, empty the moat. Of mud. Not water. Put more water in, if anything. And pile the mud next to it, but keep the water separate. Is that clear? I think that's fairly clear.

Ferris

Woke up and this was all a dream lads!

Lucky escape for us!!

Glebe

Quote from: popcorn on August 28, 2020, 01:12:31 AMNice big moat is it?

Good and deep?

Keep the enemy at bay?

Well I've only started making it, SMART ASS!

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on August 28, 2020, 01:13:44 AMThe brutal truth is that you would be better off attending to those crenellations.

People are beginning to talk about how poorly maintained the crenellations are.

Those crenellations are over-hyped, IMHO. Forget about the bloody crenellations, for goodness' sake's!

DoesNotFollow

Looking to purchase for a reasonable price any spoil for the construction of my raoulway line.

Glebe


dissolute ocelot

Don't do what I did. Stuff it full of alligators and then some wiseacre just runs across their backs and hops up the wall and that's it, game over.

Also make it more than 3 inches deep.

popcorn


Glebe


popcorn

would it be all right if I just had a quick go on it. .?

Glebe

Quote from: popcorn on September 01, 2020, 10:45:11 PM
would it be all right if I just had a quick go on it. .?

You'll only break it (on purpose).

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on September 01, 2020, 10:32:02 AM
Don't do what I did. Stuff it full of alligators and then some wiseacre just runs across their backs and hops up the wall and that's it, game over.

Also make it more than 3 inches deep.

I've actually packed my moat with macaques, Disso. Its twenty foot deep, the water is polluted and the macaques are not coping.

popcorn

is it all right if my friend has a go?

touchingcloth

Can I come round? I've built my own Gazza.

Glebe

Guys, calm down:

Popcorn - no your 'friend' can't have a go. It's only you in disguise attempting to sabotage my moat.

Touchingcloth - look mate, your frankenstein Gazza will just start crying into the moat as it will remind him off the Tyne. No fog on my moat though!

popcorn

I think the moat looks shit actually.

Ferris

Could I have a go?

Surely you can trust your old pal Ferris?

Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on September 02, 2020, 12:05:34 AM
Could I have a go?

Surely you can trust your old pal Ferris?


Aren't you the same Ferris who owns the secondhand moat emporium over by the rendering factory?