Get back in the cubicle, wage slave!

[ASFTSN]

might be supposed to be a play on the word "US"? can't think of any other reason. fucking daily mail cunts, btw.

Tabloids have been using the sort of English grammar in their headlines that they would deride as "poor English" for decades. None of it makes any sense when read in isolation, it's just yammering fucking bilge designed to throw a bolt of hate and fear into your brain. Add in the way weird public school slang gets pushed into common vernacular via politicians ('sexed up', 'frit' etc etc) and you get a bubbling stew of pure nonsense.

[BlodwynPig]

fucking hell. The marketing drone who crapped that out has been living in a sealed off room watching The Office for the last 20 years. 'THIS IS HOW IT IS...THIS IS ALL THERE IS!!!"

[Huxleys Babkins]

Imagine thinking any of those things are fun.

lol, remember the time I called a customer a cunt and accidentally copied him in and got sacked? Proper bants.

[buttgammon]

Know your place and act like you deserve it, prole. Keep protecting capitalism.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Imagine thinking any of those things are fun.

lol, remember the time I called a customer a cunt and accidentally copied him in and got sacked? Proper bants.

It's the sort of thing you'd see as you're grimly shuffling your way onto a tube to a job you hate that'd make you contemplate jumping in front of the train / running away forever.

[BlodwynPig]

You shuffle
You jostle
You board
You disembark
You sign in
You work
You work
You cubicle sandwich
You work
You work
You get bolloxed
You work
You work
You sign out
You shuffle
You jostle
You board
You disembark
You microwave
You cry
You wake
You shuffle
You jostle
You drop onto tracks...

[Sebastian Cobb]

Can't wait to get back to the office so I can BCC emails again.

Fucking love a BCC.

[BlodwynPig]

Can't wait to get back to the office so I can BCC emails again.

HIGH FIVE

LIVIN' THE LIFE

[The Culture Bunker]

I get some of you are enjoying the lack of commute, but I can't help but think long term mass WFH will result in worse terms and working patterns than there would be if most folk went back to the office. Will be much easier for them to introduce cunty changes, cut rates, ensure no unions etc. I'm struggling to see it working out better overall for everyone.

I thought the advantage of the commute/office/commute drudge was to sap us of any energy/spirit to actually give a fuck about such things. That might just be my experience, though.

[Better Midlands]

You cry
You wank
You cry again

[Wet Blanket]

Fucking Hell that's really a horrifying insight into the minds of these people that the thought of plastic plants, weird carpets, alarms and wearing ties don't immediately make them want to kill themselves. And they've put 'Receptionists' in the same league: actual human beings! They're experiencing the plastic plants too, mate. Fuck me, it's no wonder they can't understand the appeal of Europe, with their long lunches and general interest in life outside the office.

[buttgammon]

For some reason, I thought that was an advert for Dettol or something and have only just realised it was put out there by the government...just...fucking hell. I'm never moving back to the UK.

[Huxleys Babkins]

For some reason, I thought that was an advert for Dettol or something and have only just realised it was put out there by the government...just...fucking hell. I'm never moving back to the UK.

I thought it was for disinfectant, but I can't seem to find a version of it with the missing half.

[Thomas]

HuffPost say Dettol.

It reads like a list of 'why I did it' reasons on a suicide note.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Leaving work early for a cheeky eternity in grave.

[buttgammon]

HuffPost say Dettol.

It reads like a list of 'why I did it' reasons on a suicide note.

Oh, so I was right all along! It's bloody hideous whoever was responsible.

[Danger Man]

I get some of you are enjoying the lack of commute, but I can't help but think long term mass WFH will result in worse terms and working patterns than there would be if most folk went back to the office. Will be much easier for them to introduce cunty changes, cut rates, ensure no unions etc. I'm struggling to see it working out better overall for everyone.

Companies will decide that their employees are now 'freelancers' and, if they can get away with it, will pay them a flat hourly rate with no other benefits.

That was how 'working from home' used to be before everybody started doing it.

[Alberon]

Companies will always try to get away with whatever shit they can no matter whether you're working out of your spare bedroom or chained to a desk.

What's important is that unions adapt to the new normal quickly.

[Sebastian Cobb]

HuffPost say Dettol.

It reads like a list of 'why I did it' reasons on a suicide note.

[Butchers Blind]

Proper bants. Not just bants but proper bants.  Its why we go to work for the proper bants.

[Ferris]

Proper bants. Not just bants but proper bants.  Its why we go to work for the proper bants.

Personally I'm only in it for the receptionists.

[JamesTC]

Hearing an alarm. Putting on a tie. Overcrowded trains and buses. Spot the ball every fucking week. That colleague who needs to leave early for parent's evening every week. 1 ply toilet paper. Shit on the toilet wall. Mice infestations. Broken chairs. Small talk about a global pandemic. Overpriced coffee and sandwiches.

[bgmnts]

Second family.... I almost vomited in my mouth.

[Ferris]

Second family.... I almost vomited in my mouth.

My second family live two towns over and I've told Her Indoors #2 that I work on an oil rig. Fuck knows what that has to do with offices.

[frajer]

Proper bants. Not just bants but proper bants.  Its why we go to work for the proper bants.

Too long has covid panic deprived us of proper bants. The bants you know you deserve. BRITISH bants.

[Butchers Blind]

Too long has covid panic deprived us of proper bants. The bants you know you deserve. BRITISH bants.

Dave's glued your coffee mug to the desk. Proper bants
Mike's deleted all your files on the PC. Proper bants.
Sandra's having sex with Dave in the disabled toilet. She's married to Mike. Proper bants.

[Cuntbeaks]

At what point does Bants become Proper Bants?

[ASFTSN]

At what point does Bants become Proper Bants?

When someone objects and gets overruled.

[idunnosomename]

Distinguished from common bants, proper bants refer to a specific entity rather than a class of entity

[Sebastian Cobb]

At what point does Bants become Proper Bants?