Tonight's drinks are on me!

[popcorn]

Bottoms up, lads! :)

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Great, I could MURDER a pint!

Ooops, sorry, no offence.

[Glebe]

Thanks popcorn! I'm going to have to revise my opinion of you, this is very generous of... ugh, hang on, this brandy tastes funny...

[popcorn]

Drink up, Glebe! 😈😈😈

[selectivememory]

Thanks mate. Can't remember the last time Glebe or Ferris bought me a pint.

[selectivememory]

Although I don't remember requesting pubes in my drink, but OK. Not being ungrateful or anything.

[Lemming]

Thanks popcorn! Went to the bar though and was told that your offer only covers a few drinks - shitty lager, the cheapest vodka, and a frankly unacceptably small selection of soft drinks. I wanted Tizer but the bar guy said you only paid for Fanta, and only Fanta Strawberry at that.

Not hating on you or anything, this was a really nice thing to do, I just think if you're going to say "drinks are on me" you should do it properly rather than this embarrassing utter shitshow. I mean no hate, it's very generous to do this, but you've completely fucked it and this is honestly a total trainwreck. Don't get me wrong, it's kind of you to do this, but this is really a complete fucking disgrace.

[Ferris]

Thanks mate. Can't remember the last time Glebe or Ferris bought me a pint.

I bought you 2 pints of fosters at our wedding.

Honestly, stuff like this is why I'm glad we're legally separated.

[Ferris]

Just remembered you also had a sip of my carling during the speeches when I specifically said not to touch my pint.

...this is bringing up a lot of emotions for me - popcorn, mate, snakebite and black for me please.

[Glebe]

Thanks mate. Can't remember the last time Glebe or Ferris bought me a pint that wasn't laced with arsenic.

[selectivememory]

Just remembered you also had a sip of my carling during the speeches when I specifically said not to touch my pint.

Yes, I remember that. I also remember you screaming insane and incoherent abuse at me in front of all our friends and family, and pouring that very pint over my father's head when he asked you to calm down a bit, and I also remember you spitting at my grandmother and storming out. What a lovely memory that is.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I distinctly recall paying for several of my drinks last night.

Please could you arrange a rebate forthwith?

Thanks.

[Ferris]

Yes, I remember that. I also remember you screaming insane and incoherent abuse at me in front of all our friends and family, and pouring that very pint over my father's head when he asked you to calm down a bit, and I also remember you spitting at my grandmother and storming out. What a lovely memory that is.

At our wedding? Don't think so - you're confusing it with the underground dog-fighting ring your family kept inviting us to, and you insisted we visit.

I seem to recall the abuse being aimed at me because old granny selectivememory got Rottweiler blood on her trucker hat. Can't prove it until the unrelated trial finishes and the videos are no longer required as Crown's evidence.

"Don't marry into that selectivememory clan" they said, "selectivememory by name..."

[selectivememory]

Yes, my family can be a handful, but you knew that when you proposed. And my grandmother was a saint. I know she used to refer to you as "that baseball cunt," but you do realise that was affectionate?

I expect now you'll make me apologise again for all the death threats my mother sent you, but who was it who called the police on her and finally got her locked away for good?

I mean, we had some good times too, right? The weekend in Scunthorpe? It wasn't all bad.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Bottoms up, lads! :)

My bottom is still up, funnel betwist anus. Pour away.

[willpurry]

Yes, my family can be a handful

As Gulliver said a few years after shacking up with a Lilliputian.