Author Topic: Anyone been to the Falklands?  (Read 3767 times)

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #30 on: September 07, 2020, 12:14:47 AM »
Stanley's the largest, but I'm pretty sure there are a few other "main" towns.  Main in quotes there as I'm making an assumption that even Stanley is little more than an equivalent size to a large village in England.

I further assume that the inhabitants of the Jason Islands are all called Jason.  Even the women.

The third-largest settlement (Goose Green) has a population of 40, it would seem. Stanley has just over 2,000. The second most populous place is an air base called Mount Pleasant.

The Jasons have, on one of their islands, a hill that looks like a tit. Here they are, disembarking to take a closer look. In lieu of pornography, this is all they have for erotic stimulation.


Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #31 on: September 07, 2020, 12:22:51 AM »
What time of year is she going? It's southern hemisphere, so the seasons are reversed. If she's going during their summer at least it may be a bit warmer there than our winter.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #32 on: September 07, 2020, 12:41:08 AM »
The Jasons have, on one of their islands, a hill that looks like a tit.

I shall tell her to head straight for the tit.


What time of year is she going? It's southern hemisphere, so the seasons are reversed. If she's going during their summer at least it may be a bit warmer there than our winter.

IF she goes it will probably May or June, so their autumn-into-winter?  But the when does depend on covid - it might be later, which is what she's hoping as the longer the wait the more chance they'll be able to slot someone with experience into that role (a role I'm trying to subtly push Mrs Nose into as it's quite a chunk more money, so it would help us move house [which I'm desperate to do], but it's a lot more grief and also full-time, neither of which she wants.  But that's by the by).

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #33 on: September 07, 2020, 12:52:54 AM »
The Falklands in winter. One for the desolation thread. If she does end up going, she should just drink a lot, then it won't seem so bad.

famethrowa

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #34 on: September 07, 2020, 01:02:22 AM »
Reckon the lesson here is that after twenty odd posts no one but no one actually seems to have been to the Falklands.

Or more importantly has come back.

Gotcha!

Uncle TechTip

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #35 on: September 07, 2020, 01:32:19 AM »
What's the point in going for two or three days, if it's that important it can't be done remotely you may as well stay a couple of weeks, get loads done then and save you having to go for a  while.

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #36 on: September 07, 2020, 02:00:39 AM »
sound shite mate why the fuck would anyone go there, stop her you mad cunt

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #37 on: September 07, 2020, 07:19:08 AM »
I’d go in a heartbeat, but I love penguins, seals, storm petrels, shearwaters and bleak shit.

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #38 on: September 07, 2020, 07:26:38 AM »
There's a reason Mustapha Mond banished Bernard and Helmholtz to the Falklands at the end of Brave New World[1], and that Bernard at least considered it a punishment.
 1. No, I'm not going to spoiler-tag this. The book is nearly 90 years old and is a classic in the modern Western-dystopian[1] canon. Just read it.
 1. Although Huxley actually considered the novel to be a Utopian eugenics work and only reconsidered after WWII cast a dark cloud over that wayward and bastard offspring of genetics. 13 fucking years after the end of WWII

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #39 on: September 07, 2020, 07:33:39 AM »
I’d go in a heartbeat, but I love penguins, seals, storm petrels, shearwaters and bleak shit.

Same. Literally. Plus I thought they were all swingers too.

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #40 on: September 07, 2020, 07:34:42 AM »
I’d go in a heartbeat, but I love penguins, seals, storm petrels, shearwaters and bleak shit.

Same here, although a trip there with no time to see any of these things sounds awful.

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #41 on: September 07, 2020, 07:35:25 AM »
I have been. Best summed up as an interesting experience but not one I would wish to repeat.

It’s very isolated for good and bad. There is fuck all there to see and do after you’ve seen the wildlife and some peatlands, but you really feel that all the shit and hassle in the world cannot touch or affect you. I suppose there are minefields and old battlefields to visit and destroyed aircraft littered about if you like that stuff. Falkland Islanders are nice people but always on the cadge for stuff they can recycle and use. I’d be the same if I lived on a barren rock. Stanley is good for a night out. The weather is miserable. The wind never get below a mild howl so it’s like living in Eraserhead world with that background whine waxing and waning.

But mainly it’s just fucking dull.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #42 on: September 07, 2020, 07:48:23 AM »
Don't fancy those flights...at least if one of them goes down, she won't have to experience the island and can play at castaway in the rescue dinghy instead...might end up on a tropical pacific island instead?

The Mollusk

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #43 on: September 07, 2020, 08:00:27 AM »
I always imagined it would be like that film Calvaire. Fucking horrible and endlessly bleak.

shiftwork2

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #44 on: September 07, 2020, 08:33:08 AM »
Needs a Gatwick Village with Frankie and Benny's then it'd be the tits.

Paul Calf

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #45 on: September 07, 2020, 08:34:49 AM »
Don't fancy those flights...at least if one of them goes down, she won't have to experience the island and can play at castaway in the rescue dinghy instead...might end up on a tropical pacific island instead?

She'd have to round Cape Horn first. The Drake Passage makes The Falklands look like The Bahamas.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #46 on: September 07, 2020, 08:35:59 AM »
She'd have to round Cape Horn first. The Drake Passage makes The Falklands look like The Bahamas.

That's what I've been telling her - PREPARE FOR THE DRAKE PASSAGE. Will she listen? SGN, WILL SHE?

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #47 on: September 07, 2020, 08:38:21 AM »
She could drift north and nip through The Panama Canal, but that seems like a lot of pissing about just to look at a few big stone heads.

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #48 on: September 07, 2020, 08:38:36 AM »
Not since I saw Brownie from 3 Para take one in the gut and bleed out.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #49 on: September 07, 2020, 08:41:49 AM »
Fuck the Drake Passage Mrs. SGN - we'll have to head North

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGhKugDGrYY

6:00 - "which wiseguy brought crockery instead of plastic?!"

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #50 on: September 07, 2020, 08:55:10 AM »
Looks like Scotland with penguins. I'd be up for it

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #51 on: September 07, 2020, 09:18:53 AM »
By the way. If you want to see the wildlife, it’s like a 3 hour ride across the peat and bogs in a Land Rover, getting out to help pull it out when it gets stuck. You can’t just nip and see them. It’s an all day affair, normally in poor weather. And the penguins absolutely fucking stink of horrible fishy shit, you can smell them from miles away.

The Mollusk

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #52 on: September 07, 2020, 09:28:50 AM »






The Victory Bar in Stanley. That top photo is seriously the building. Fucking hell, I really wasn't far off with the Calvaire comparison.

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #53 on: September 07, 2020, 09:31:33 AM »
I've been looking at pictures of the bars this mornng as well.

More flag bunting than I've ever seen in my life before.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #54 on: September 07, 2020, 09:50:58 AM »
is that a ex-pat paedophile convention in the bottom picture?

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #55 on: September 07, 2020, 09:51:48 AM »
is that a ex-pat paedophile convention in the bottom picture?

No it's the Stanley CaB meet.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #56 on: September 07, 2020, 09:53:52 AM »
No it's the Stanley CaB meet.

ha, of course. Golden Tony, Famous Mortimer, Bosto and is that Nags with the tache?

Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #57 on: September 07, 2020, 10:00:57 AM »
Fairly sure they are in top 5 for GDP/capita (gaining fishing rights after the war). Christ knows what they spend it on.

Buelligan

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #58 on: September 07, 2020, 10:04:14 AM »
is that a ex-pat paedophile convention in the bottom picture?

I'm guessing they're all civil servants from the 1990s.  It's an educated guess.

The Mollusk

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Re: Anyone been to the Falklands?
« Reply #59 on: September 07, 2020, 10:06:33 AM »
ha, of course. Golden Tony, Famous Mortimer, Bosto and is that Nags with the tache?

My partner's still overseas and I treat any extended time away from her as "moustache time", so yes.

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