Topic: Anyone been to the Falklands?

[Shit Good Nose]

South Africa has penguins.

NOW BEND OVER AND STICK THEM UP YOUR ANUS!!!!!

[Sebastian Cobb]

I note no taps in the other pub picture and loads of bottles here. Is draught not a thing?

[Blue Jam]

That's exactly why Mrs Nose loves all that stuff.

It's odd - she can quite happily watch things like that and real operations without batting an eyelid, but when I'm watching some shit very low budget 70s Italian horror film she thinks I'm a sick weirdo.

I can watch earwax removal. I love cleaning ears (mine and other people's, and my last dog's) but I never saw the appeal of pimple poppin' videos.

I would quite like to get one of those blackhead extractors though, the little face hoover things that gently suck all the accumulated crap out of your pores. That would be a fun night in. It's different when it's your own.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I can watch earwax removal. I love cleaning ears (mine and other people's, and my last dog's) but I never saw the appeal of pimple poppin' videos.

When I got my ears syringed I asked if I could see the gunk and the nurse let out a slightly baffled 'oh... I've tipped most of it away now' as if this was unusual request. Surely not?

[idunnosomename]

We have penguins.i saw some in regents park.

[Blue Jam]

When I got my ears syringed I asked if I could see the gunk and the nurse let out a slightly baffled 'oh... I've tipped most of it away now' as if this was unusual request. Surely not?

Spoilsport. I had a GP check my ears a while ago as I'd had some bad tinnitus but she just took a quick look down them and told me they were clean as a whistle and didn't need syringing. I was so disappointed.

When I had an ultrasound on my uterus and ovaries the sonographer wouldn't let me look at the screen. Probably because she had been looking for nasties rather than babies but I still wanted to have a good ol' butchers at my insides.

When I had a punch removal of a mole (a molepunch) the surgeon let me have a good look at the removed plug of my own flesh, handing me the mole in a little sample jar. She knew.

Erm, the Falklands then... penguins sound like dirty bastards tbh. I prefer puffins and we have those much closer to home.

[Dr Rock]

South Africa has penguins.

I know. They brought them in because of the way they keep the black and white separate.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

I note no taps in the other pub picture and loads of bottles here. Is draught not a thing?

Doesn't sound too common judging by this article. Iron Lady IPA, though, jesus..

[Blue Jam]

Doesn't sound too common judging by this article. Iron Lady IPA, though, jesus..

Ooooofff...

a handful of traditional British pubs, such as the Victory Bar and the Globe Tavern, which come complete with pool tables, live football on the TV and fish and chips... Best of all, it only costs from £2.80 a pint

It sounds like Benidorm minus the sun.

As for "the most remote microbrewery on the planet"? I beg to differ:

http://mahinabeer.com

[Shit Good Nose]

Well, Mrs Nose isn't the biggest drinker and has only relatively recently started again whilst slowly withdrawing from antidepressants, so what booze is available will be very low down on the priority list.  She'll probs have her fill on yhe flights there and back to calm her nerves.

[monkfromhavana]

How often do they get restocked with supplies off ships/planes etc? I imagine it being like a desolate space station where there is a big clock counting down until the supply boat comes in and once again the island is stuffed to the gills with Wagon Wheels, PG Tips, Bernard Matthews turkey burgers etc/

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

How often do they get restocked with supplies off ships/planes etc? I imagine it being like a desolate space station where there is a big clock counting down until the supply boat comes in and once again the island is stuffed to the gills with Wagon Wheels, PG Tips, Bernard Matthews turkey burgers etc/

They have a silo filled with enough Angel Delight (Butterscotch flavour obvs, why settle for anything else?) to last them until the Falklands are attacked by the Argies again only this time with soldiers on hoverboards shooting lazers and suchlike.

[monkfromhavana]

They have a silo filled with enough Angel Delight (Butterscotch flavour obvs, why settle for anything else?) to last them until the Falklands are attacked by the Argies again only this time with soldiers on hoverboards shooting lazers and suchlike.

Is the Angel Delight in its original powdered state, or has it had the milk added? If it has, spoilage is going to turn their silo of mousse into butterscotch flavoured cheese. If it hasn't, where are they getting the milk from?

Don't say "cows".

[Shit Good Nose]

Is the Angel Delight in its original powdered state, or has it had the milk added? If it has, spoilage is going to turn their silo of mousse into butterscotch flavoured cheese. If it hasn't, where are they getting the milk from?

Don't say "cows".

Penguins.


I fucking love butterscotch Angel Delight, so I've just decided I'm going in Mrs Nose's place.  I don't know anything about corporate workwear, but I'll take a Plumbase catalogue so it looks like I'm professional.  I'll be dead and bloated on the beach with AD seeping from every orifice.

[monkfromhavana]

Penguins.

Can you ask your wife to milk a penguin whilst she's over there to see what kind of quantities we're talking about. I reckon you'd need the milk of about 30 penguins to make one packet of Angel Delight.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Is the Angel Delight in its original powdered state, or has it had the milk added? If it has, spoilage is going to turn their silo of mousse into butterscotch flavoured cheese. If it hasn't, where are they getting the milk from?

Don't say "cows".

It's in its powdered state as it would have been in 1980s, none of this ready made modern Angel Delight muck. Sheep's milk is readily available once the the UHT has ran out.

[Shit Good Nose]

Can you ask your wife to milk a penguin whilst she's over there to see what kind of quantities we're talking about. I reckon you'd need the milk of about 30 penguins to make one packet of Angel Delight.

Quite bitter.  Should've gone with strawberry.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The brewery of Iron Lady IPA should be bombed. I do not apologise.

[touchingcloth]

Spunk IPA.

[paruses]

It's in its powdered state as it would have been in 1980s, none of this ready made modern Angel Delight muck. Sheep's milk is readily available once the the UHT has ran out.

You can buy ready made Angel Delight?

[Shit Good Nose]

You can buy ready made Angel Delight?

Yes, but it's not the same.  And you can still get the powdered mix.

[buttgammon]

Does it come in a plastic tub or something? Genuinely never seen or heard of this.

[Shit Good Nose]

Does it come in a plastic tub or something? Genuinely never seen or heard of this.

Yeah, it looks like a yogurt or mousse (which is where it's found in the fridge).  The only supermarket near us that sells it is Tesco - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/294606590

The ready made one is made with skimmed milk so, if like me you prefer it richer and make it with semi (or even full-fat for a particular treat), it tastes a bit thin and disappointing.

[buttgammon]

Yeah, it looks like a yogurt or mousse (which is where it's found in the fridge).  The only supermarket near us that sells it is Tesco - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/294606590

The ready made one is made with skimmed milk so, if like me you prefer it richer and make it with semi (or even full-fat for a particular treat), it tastes a bit thin and disappointing.

That looks really unpleasant, I'd much rather go to the (minimal) effort of making it from powdered!

[paruses]

Yeah, it looks like a yogurt or mousse (which is where it's found in the fridge).  The only supermarket near us that sells it is Tesco - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/294606590

The ready made one is made with skimmed milk so, if like me you prefer it richer and make it with semi (or even full-fat for a particular treat), it tastes a bit thin and disappointing.

Thanks - it looks terrible. Would rather go the the Falklands I think.

[Shit Good Nose]

Thanks - it looks terrible. Would rather go the the Falklands I think.

Eating a pot of ready made Angel Delight on a grey bit of barren land on the Falklands.  A solitary penguin waddles over, turns around, takes a shit on your boot, turns back round to look at you and then waddles off again.

[Uncle TechTip]

Three fruit machines seems a bit excessive for this utterly pointless landmass.

[Shit Good Nose]

Three fruit machines seems a bit excessive for this utterly pointless landmass.

There is also one of those little Pacman game units from the 80s, but the batteries have run out and the next battery delivery isn't until next summer.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

A pervert pays the only prostitute in the Falklands to allow him to lick Butterscotch Angel Delight off her tits using his winnings from one of the island's 3 fruit machines.


RIP Desolation

[Shit Good Nose]

winnings from one of the island's 3 fruit machines.

£5 maximum win.