Euphoria III: Despite the Times.

[Glebe]

Terry and June invite you around to their fictional Purely house for laughter, song and chat.

Su Pollard does an Ealing film remake called Typhoo Galore!

You wake up to a load of chocolate and gifts and that.

Your physician solves your phimosis and then you win 100 mil on the Euromillions.

[seepage]

An industrial-sized vat of Philadelphia cream cheese suddenly explodes all over the place, somehow invading every nook and cranny of your body.

[Glebe]

An industrial-sized vat of Philadelphia cream cheese suddenly explodes all over the place, somehow invading every nook and cranny of your body.

Okay, I get it, some people like Philly cheese!

[pancreas]

Your rat infestation clears up after they decide they can't tolerate listening to any more Rick Astley.

[Huxleys Babkins]

The lump on your testicle develops into a third bollock which makes you "sexually unstoppable".

[pancreas]

Dignitas ring to bring your appointment forward by a month.

[pancreas]

After your tweet goes viral, Nestlé agrees to bring back Caramac.

[Thomas]

You check Wikipedia and find that you were voted FHM's sexiest person on five separate occasions - including this year!

[spaghetamine]

All your enemies are killed in a series of mysterious accidents and end up going straight to hell

[Glebe]

Depression and anxiety lift, here, have a ticket to visit Wonderland for a lovely holiday.

[Glebe]

The clouds are made of candy floss... go on, have a bite!

[pancreas]

A watersports enthusiast succesfully corrals a school of jellyfish into a nudist bay and watches through binoculars as the victims frantically micturate on each other.

[pancreas]

An STI causing you to cum blood arrives at just the moment you've run out of black pudding.

[Glebe]

A huge degree of good chemicals surge through your nervous system.

[Glebe]

A kindly lunatic deposits fifty grand into your account, cheers.

[Glebe]

Fancy a feast? Tuck in! Cash prizes and free holidays to follow!

[Glebe]

A discrepancy in reality means that everything comes up roses!

[PlanktonSideburns]

New batman trailer, OK mate here we go what now

OH SHIT IT'S A MUSICAL?!

BRUCE CAMBELL AS BATS?

DICK VAN DYKE AS ALBERT?

GET IN

[Glebe]

Those rose bushes look nice and tidy now I've trimmed 'em, oh look I'm floating off into the atmosphere.

[Glebe]

Ten grand gets accidentally deposited into your bank account. Go on mate, live it up!

[Pingers]

A police constable catches you with 500 ecstasy pills and 2 kilos each of cocaine and ketamine. He gives you a clip round the ear and tells you if he finds you being a Herbert again, he'll have no choice but to tell your dad.

[Glebe]

A police constable catches you with 500 ecstasy pills and 2 kilos each of cocaine and ketamine. He gives you a clip round the ear and tells you if he finds you being a Herbert again, he'll have no choice but to tell your dad.

And your dad is the corrupt Chief of Police anyway so you'll be grand.

[Pingers]

Twitter explodes and takes everyone with it

[Glebe]

You've a few quid going spare, so enjoy a day out with lots of treats!

[Glebe]

Win the lotto, sorted.

[Glebe]

Calm down, folks! Worst comes to the worst, we'll sort it out! Cheers!

[Pingers]

An admin error means the British Army's new uniform is a black crop top with silver batty riders

[Fishfinger]

Your Welsh assailant's threats have a certain lovely music to them.

[Fishfinger]

Kitty weight and paws on your chest in the morning. Hello. Yes, it is breakfast time.

[spaghetamine]

You win a competition and the prize is getting to feed nectar to a baby hummingbird using a tiny spoon