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March 28, 2024, 09:30:33 AM

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CAB sex tips

Started by Fambo Number Mive, September 08, 2020, 09:15:11 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fambo Number Mive

1. Remember to change ends of the bed at half time.


DrGreggles

3. Remember to give karma

Butchers Blind


5. If you want to have sex in a car, turn on your hazards to warn away passing children.

JaDanketies

6. Hit the finish line as soon as possible so you can get back to that Blackadder box set

bgmnts

7. For god's sake remember your sandwiches.

Fambo Number Mive

8. Don't mix up your sex tips with your felt tips

9. Make sure you have your mix tape with you


11. Introduce a bird of prey to the action.*

*But not an owl. Never an owl.

frajer

12. Buy new underpants before and after

Bazooka

13. Pull out before you pass out.

pancreas

14. Don't attempt to exceed the WHO gaping guidelines.

Butchers Blind

15. If anal, don't forget your please and thank yous.

16. Use the hand sanitiser they have on the door at B&Q for silky, sterile bum action.

Fambo Number Mive

17. Follow the "rule of six". Six cums per session.

Emma Raducanu

18. If they say no, they definitely mean yes

Butchers Blind

19.  If you cum first, its perfectly acceptable to punch the air and shout, "YES!"

20. Get yourself in the mood by performing oral sex on a pet before you head to the bedroom.

ollyboro

21. Always make copies of the signed loco Parentis forms.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse


popcorn

23. The key is friction.

24. If your partner insists you deep fry your balls, make sure you coat them in an egg wash before battering.

JamesTC

25. Thoroughly clean condom before reusing.

frajer

26. Eat a hearty soup immediately prior to the act for maximum stamina. Do not fall into the soup or you'll get into an "Obelisk" situation where you are permanently too good at shagging.

Butchers Blind

27.  Make sure you're fully cocked, never go half-cocked.

jobotic

28. Stop doing that. Don't. Don't you ever do that again.

Uncle TechTip

27. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, send it down.

poo


Tony Tony Tony

29. Ignore numbers 5. 11. 23. and especially 27. They are all old wives tales