Author Topic: CAB sex tips  (Read 855 times)

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
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CAB sex tips
« on: September 08, 2020, 09:15:11 PM »
1. Remember to change ends of the bed at half time.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2020, 09:28:20 PM »
2. Get it all the way in.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2020, 09:37:27 PM »
3. Remember to give karma

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2020, 09:38:00 PM »
4. Avoid eye contact

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2020, 09:40:32 PM »
5. If you want to have sex in a car, turn on your hazards to warn away passing children.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2020, 09:44:18 PM »
6. Hit the finish line as soon as possible so you can get back to that Blackadder box set

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2020, 09:45:45 PM »
7. For god's sake remember your sandwiches.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2020, 09:50:48 PM »
8. Don't mix up your sex tips with your felt tips

9. Make sure you have your mix tape with you

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2020, 10:14:57 PM »
10. Lube up those nipples.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2020, 06:02:59 AM »
11. Introduce a bird of prey to the action.*

*But not an owl. Never an owl.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2020, 06:59:27 AM »
12. Buy new underpants before and after

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2020, 02:21:56 PM »
13. Pull out before you pass out.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2020, 02:56:49 PM »
14. Don't attempt to exceed the WHO gaping guidelines.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2020, 03:02:26 PM »
15. If anal, don't forget your please and thank yous.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2020, 04:14:34 PM »
16. Use the hand sanitiser they have on the door at B&Q for silky, sterile bum action.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2020, 04:19:55 PM »
17. Follow the "rule of six". Six cums per session.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #16 on: September 09, 2020, 04:24:41 PM »
18. If they say no, they definitely mean yes

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2020, 09:13:07 PM »
19.  If you cum first, its perfectly acceptable to punch the air and shout, "YES!"

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2020, 11:13:25 PM »
20. Get yourself in the mood by performing oral sex on a pet before you head to the bedroom.

ollyboro

  • More pussy than Sinatra
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2020, 12:03:03 AM »
21. Always make copies of the signed loco Parentis forms.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Living proof of everything wrong with the world
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2020, 12:18:07 AM »
22. Wheelbarrow.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2020, 12:22:11 AM »
23. The key is friction.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #22 on: September 10, 2020, 11:31:37 AM »
24. If your partner insists you deep fry your balls, make sure you coat them in an egg wash before battering.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #23 on: September 10, 2020, 01:07:56 PM »
25. Thoroughly clean condom before reusing.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #24 on: September 10, 2020, 01:28:28 PM »
26. Eat a hearty soup immediately prior to the act for maximum stamina. Do not fall into the soup or you'll get into an "Obelisk" situation where you are permanently too good at shagging.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #25 on: September 10, 2020, 01:33:33 PM »
27.  Make sure you're fully cocked, never go half-cocked.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #26 on: September 10, 2020, 02:06:14 PM »
28. Stop doing that. Don't. Don't you ever do that again.

Uncle TechTip

  • You won, get over it
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #27 on: September 10, 2020, 04:00:30 PM »
27. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, send it down.

Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #28 on: September 10, 2020, 04:02:34 PM »
28. Crying is OK

Tony Tony Tony

  • CaB Worm Charming Runner Up 2018-2020
Re: CAB sex tips
« Reply #29 on: September 11, 2020, 12:28:04 AM »
29. Ignore numbers 5. 11. 23. and especially 27. They are all old wives tales

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