Author Topic: Exotic Foreign Muck  (Read 1808 times)

Tony Tony Tony

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Exotic Foreign Muck
« on: September 09, 2020, 10:44:29 PM »
Having just chomped down a Hershey bar (Cookies 'n Creme variety) it brought to mind that as a kid the two things that I really thought of as exotic desirable foreign grub were Hershey's and Beef Jerky.

With the advent of international shopping making tasting such delicacies possible I was pleased at how good the Hershey was but sorely disappointed by Beef Jerky.

Any other readers had their dreams similarly fulfilled/shattered?     

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2020, 10:47:12 PM »
I have it on good authority that Hershey bars taste like babby sick.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2020, 10:47:34 PM »
Not sure why you needed to do international shipping though, both items have been widely available in the UK for 20 years.

Hershey's is closeish to Yorkie chocolate but with all the worst aspects accentuated to the cost of virtually everything else.

Tony Tony Tony

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2020, 10:49:35 PM »
Not sure why you needed to do international shipping though, both items have been widely available in the UK for 20 years.

Hershey's is closeish to Yorkie chocolate but with all the worst aspects accentuated to the cost of virtually everything else.

For one of my advanced age 20 years is recent enough.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2020, 10:49:43 PM »
Twinkies are a let down, Grape Soda is fucking horrible and corn dogs are minging too. Basically all that fucking Yankee rubbish.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2020, 10:51:02 PM »
Someone bought back some mini hershey stuff from their holiday and it was remarkably awful. Worse than advent calendar shit.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2020, 10:51:43 PM »
Even their syrup, the one with kindly southern mama on is insipid gutter grade corn shite that's just bottled rot.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2020, 10:57:55 PM »
I've never really thought about it before but 'syrup' is perturbingly generic on its own. Golden Syrup, maple syrup, these are things, we know what they are. 'Syrup' is an analogue, its colour is wrong and it's clearly thinner.

Urinal Cake

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2020, 11:03:46 PM »
Hershey uses some unique method to add milk to chocolate which introduces the vomit flavour. Americans just got used to it and now Hershey won't change the method to the better Swiss/European one.

I also find people's love affair with Siracha particularly Huy Fong completely puzzling.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2020, 11:07:08 PM »
I don't mind the cookies and cream but the rest of their "standard" choc, including the Kisses, is inedible.  Having said that, I'm incredibly partial to almost every Reeses product.  But Americans really can't do chocolate.   Even the pricy artisan stuff over there isn't much better than decent cooking chocolate here.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2020, 11:07:57 PM »
Tunnock's Teacakes have a consistency that can only be described as deeply unpleasant.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2020, 11:09:16 PM »
A friend brought some Hershey's Kisses back from New York. I recall them tasting exactly like the smell of human shit and we reflected that a Hershey's Kiss could be a fun euphemism for analingus.

Having said that, I did have a bit of a reputation in my office for being that person who'd bring in very obviously, predictably 'novelty' food after every holiday. Matcha KitKats from Japan (to be fair you can buy those here), Ouzo flavoured Turkish delight from Cyrpus, Soviet-stamped boiled sweets from Russia ("careful mate, Novichok there" - my hilarious colleague), that sort of thing.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2020, 11:13:09 PM »
Quite like the pass-agg way of doing it where you 'forgot' to buy something so blates bought something from Asda on the way in.

Bit like putting a lottery lucky dip in someone's secret santa card. You mean nothing to me.

pancreas

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2020, 11:19:22 PM »
Most continental beef is not properly aged and therefore tastes of absolutely nothing.

Buelligan

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2020, 11:43:55 PM »
Marmite.  I love that.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2020, 11:49:24 PM »
I quite like that cheese stuff they have in France.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #16 on: September 09, 2020, 11:50:33 PM »
Lidl/Aldi frickadellen is no less grubby than a rustlers monstrosity but has the continental charm and the fact you need to assemble it yourself to carry it through.

Smells like actual guffs when you open the packet, mind.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2020, 11:56:10 PM »
Most continental beef is not properly aged and therefore tastes of absolutely nothing.

When you say "most continental beef" pancs, where can you get "good" ones? 

And that's a genuine question - I've only had beef in Italy and Spain (both good, Spain especially).  Oddly never France, despite having been there loads of times on holiday and to stay with family (I did have yer cheval several times, which of course usually gets met with a look whenever I mention it).  Never had it in the States either, which I somewhat regret.  When we honeymooned in San Francisco and were out one night we took a wrong turn heading back to our motel from Cafe Coppola and ended up walking along a road filled with strip clubs and porn cinemas.  We never felt threatened or anything - every place had a bouncer on the door - but we did see a sign outside one club saying "BEER, STEAK AND GIRL - $10".  In that order.  I will admit that my immediate thought was "christ, I wonder what the steak is like...".

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2020, 11:58:29 PM »
I love Ritter Sport but being able to buy it in Lidl/half the garages any time I want has stripped it of its novelty.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2020, 12:45:29 AM »
corn dogs are minging too.

I'll permit that American chocolate is subpar, but come on this is just out of line.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2020, 12:51:22 AM »
They seem like a cakier battered sausage imo.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2020, 01:36:25 AM »
pasta. bluergh! unless it's hoops in a tin

zomgmouse

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #22 on: September 10, 2020, 01:47:52 AM »
Snapple made me have a sugar crash immediately after drinking it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #23 on: September 10, 2020, 07:26:14 AM »
I assume bresaola is exempt from the above beef slander?

SpiderChrist

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #24 on: September 10, 2020, 07:36:50 AM »
Is sourdough bread exotic? If so, that. I had some seeded sourdough which I thought was alright, but discovered upon eating regular sourdough that the seeds masked the revolting flavour of the bread.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #25 on: September 10, 2020, 07:40:09 AM »
Really unhealthy crap. The only N. American stuff I enjoy are their breakfasts. Maple syrup on sausages and pancakes, a jug of bitter coffee, cancer bacon. Delicious.

Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #26 on: September 10, 2020, 07:56:02 AM »
I don't think a real pig would approve of (pork) sausages with maple syrup (or any kind of syrup) on them. God almighty.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #27 on: September 10, 2020, 07:59:02 AM »
I don't think a real pig would approve of (pork) sausages with maple syrup (or any kind of syrup) on them. God almighty.

these sausages are about 10% pig.

The Mollusk

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #28 on: September 10, 2020, 08:22:09 AM »
I've never really thought about it before but 'syrup' is perturbingly generic on its own. Golden Syrup, maple syrup, these are things, we know what they are. 'Syrup' is an analogue, its colour is wrong and it's clearly thinner.
a jug of bitter coffee

The standard of syrup in America has got to be similar to coffee, right? At least in terms of wholesale shit you get in diners. They barrel that garbage down your neck at such an alarming rate it must be the most cheaply produced Orwellian dribble. Plus IIRC instant coffee granules are much less of a thing in America and a lot of it is drip coffee, so if that standard is applied both in the home and wholesale that probably serves to thin out the quality even more.

Coffee (along with chocolate and syrup and probably a lot of other things) is something Americans are really connected to, and it’s great that they think they’ve got it so good when they really have not. Hell yeah as much coffee as you can drink for $2 in any diner! But you are drinking black sputum water, nice one.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Exotic Foreign Muck
« Reply #29 on: September 10, 2020, 08:33:10 AM »
My local pancake breakfast place next to campus in Canada put a sign up one day "Now serving authentic Maple Syrup". Prices went up though.

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