Author Topic: FUCK CHRISTMAS  (Read 1848 times)

FUCK CHRISTMAS
« on: September 10, 2020, 12:11:53 AM »


BACK TO WORK... BUT ALSO SPEND SPEND SPEND FOR FESTIVAL THAT BALANCES THE BOOKS, PROLES

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2020, 12:25:18 AM »
Nan gave me socks.
I gave her Covid.

Jesus wins.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2020, 12:30:30 AM »
Will the War on Christmas never end?!

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2020, 12:32:25 AM »
I'm surprised there's not a rush to push the vaccine (if it's not a dud) out by like November like other countries.  Imagine the ruin to the economy if people aren't partying and buying expensive shit for the kids and shit no one wants for the adults.  Deso!

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2020, 12:51:10 AM »
Pushing shit out for big events like elections or Christmas is the most transparent thing, completely ridiculous. I wait till Boxing Day to push my shit out, try to get it piling up above the waterline, then inevitably post about it on CaB.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2020, 02:48:13 AM »
I hope we can have a Very Special boxing day shit thread this year. might be the last time anyone has the resources to pass a big turd haha brexit lol des

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2020, 07:29:31 AM »
a 10pm curfew, that'll sort it

BlodwynPig

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2020, 07:35:18 AM »
I hope this doesn't RUIN *arbitrary date* because I'm a selfish prick.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2020, 08:44:54 AM »
But *arbitrary date* is the *arbitrary date* when *arbitrary messianic figure* was born!

It's the most wonderful *arbitrary date* of the yeeeeeear!

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2020, 09:13:07 AM »
I had no idea Lily Allen and the guy from the failed Hellboy were an item.

Blinder Data

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2020, 11:01:07 AM »
The rules will go out the window at Christmas, unless we're already in the strictest of lockdowns. Even so, people will just get pissed and forget about all the restrictions for the day

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2020, 11:27:08 AM »
That Elvis impersonator is striking, horrible, ghastly. It's giving me the fear. Stop giving the thumbs up. Put the chest hair down. Arrrgh

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2020, 11:39:02 AM »
That Elvis impersonator is striking, horrible, ghastly. It's giving me the fear. Stop giving the thumbs up. Put the chest hair down. Arrrgh

It's awful isn't IT. In a post-covid world there really isn't any leverage in them existing anymore.

"Let's go to vegas to see the world famous Elvis impersonators!!!! LADZ?"

"what the fuck you on about JOSH, fuck off you bell end cunt"

"At least let me dance to Staying Alive with the post-ironic Travolta moves?"

"Someone kill him"

icehaven

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2020, 12:36:24 PM »
I had no idea Lily Allen and the guy from the failed Hellboy were an item.

Me neither! (although he's probably better known as the guy from Stranger Things.)


Anyway on topic the Frankfurt Christmas market in Birmingham has been cancelled this year, having been a shadow of it's former self for the last few years anyway due to half the areas where it used to be being building sites. Even if Covid's all over by Xmas 2021 I wouldn't be surprised if they jack it in permanently anyway, the novelty wore off years ago and a lot of people were getting fed up of it turning the entire city centre into a fucking stag do every weekend for 2 months.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2020, 01:09:59 PM »
All my Christmases for the past 15 years have involved buying all presents online, watching Xmas movies, having Xmas/Boxing Day dinner with fewer than six people, not going to any parties, only taking a cursory glance at any markets, so nothing has changed for me. Aside from having to endure Fairytale of New York karaoke in overflowing Bigg Market pubs with pools of sick and discarded Santa hats on the cold pavement outside. Delighted not to have to endure that this year.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2020, 01:11:21 PM »
I enjoyed Leeds big shitearse fake German christmas market for cunts when I was younger and when they had a tent so fucking big that you could avoid where the biggest arseholes were gathering. It has also leaped in price over the same period. In 2008 you could get a beer and some grub for £7-8, looking at £14-17 now. My salary certainly hasn't kept pace.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2020, 01:30:30 PM »
Cancelling xmas wouldn't be a bad thing.  Should hold it every four years like the Olympics.

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2020, 01:42:41 PM »
Make fun of Kwanzaa and see what happens to your account.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2020, 04:45:58 PM »
Does this mean the office Christmas party will be cancelled?

I cannot write HURRAY loudly enough.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2020, 06:10:44 PM »
hopefully this will kill off Christmas markets once and for all

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2020, 06:20:19 PM »
Considering my mother was fucking dying of cancer last time (didn't actually know until new year but she really wasn't well over that period), I really am not arsed if Christmas is called off this year. Really can't face it.

icehaven

  • Marmalade's reared it's head in every course
Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2020, 07:15:17 PM »
Cancelling xmas wouldn't be a bad thing.  Should hold it every four years like the Olympics.

I've heard that suggestion before and couldn't agree more. Would never happen because apparently half the economy relies on everyone spending a frighteningly disproportionate amount of money in the last two months of the year. And we wonder why so many people grow up with poor money management skills when they've had it drilled into them since birth that come hell or high water, even if it means getting into debt or living on baked beans for 6 months, you spend big at Christmas whether you want to or not.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #22 on: September 10, 2020, 10:36:53 PM »
I'd be absolutely fine with all of the food waste, financial strain and social pressures of Christmas being wiped to fuck, but it's not going to happen is it. Chekky Pret turkey sandwich to help out while homeless people freeze to death in the street.

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #23 on: September 10, 2020, 10:56:57 PM »
I'm dreading all the "Xmas with Covid"-themed ads. Slow, bare acoustic/wispy female vocal version of Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody" playing over ironic tracking shots of people not having fun or looking to the future in their grey houses until Sainsbury's saves the day and it all lights up.

icehaven

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #24 on: September 10, 2020, 11:08:52 PM »
At least John Lewis surely won't be shameless enough to try and have their usual massive fuss over a shmaltzfest advert this year, given they've all but gone bust.

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #25 on: September 10, 2020, 11:12:38 PM »
At least John Lewis surely won't be shameless enough to try and have their usual massive fuss over a shmaltzfest advert this year, given they've all but gone bust.

True, but you'll still have Sainsburys doing theirs no doubt as El Unicornio says, and which one was it that got in on the act last year - Iceland was it?

Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #26 on: September 10, 2020, 11:26:59 PM »
Oh Christ, yes, adverts. I reckon every one of them is going to like be that one from last year with the hospital staff doing night shifts (can't even remember whose ad that was) but with the ARE BRAVE NHS inference cranked to the max. Poignant scenes of kids opening presents over video calls while a relative in scrubs watches on the other side with a tired, grateful smile. Brief shot of token BAME family perhaps.

BlodwynPig

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #27 on: September 11, 2020, 09:08:50 AM »
Oh Christ, yes, adverts. I reckon every one of them is going to like be that one from last year with the hospital staff doing night shifts (can't even remember whose ad that was) but with the ARE BRAVE NHS inference cranked to the max. Poignant scenes of kids opening presents over video calls while a relative in scrubs watches on the other side with a tired, grateful smile. Brief shot of token BAME family perhaps.

In the news today: Attacks on NHS staff (including physical assault) has increased dramatically over the last few months. *rainbows*

Thomas

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #28 on: September 11, 2020, 09:52:28 AM »
Sainsbury's

They'll do another trench warfare ad, except this time there's a mustard gas attack and everyone's in gas masks. David Lloyd George sends them a cheeky tin of Sainos biscuits to lift their spirits. Bit of comic back and forth about who's going to remove their mask first.

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Re: FUCK CHRISTMAS
« Reply #29 on: September 13, 2020, 01:22:27 PM »
The whole instore Father Christmas photos malarkey is going to be interesting.

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