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FUCK CHRISTMAS

Started by idunnosomename, September 10, 2020, 12:11:53 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Uncle TechTip

I think millions of people will have a relaxed, enjoyable Christmas and it will herald a new attitude about how we celebrate it.

jobotic

Quote from: BlodwynPig on November 19, 2020, 07:00:16 PM
I was in a meeting discussing this today. Obvs I cannot reveal the outcome*

*outcome not decided yet

I can reveal the outcome

BO JO HO HO


I'd love to be wrong

Blue Jam

'tis the season to be glad
It's just Lidl's Christmas ad!

GRAVE

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: icehaven on November 19, 2020, 11:30:00 AM
Greggs do an advent calendar (with vouchers in, not actual food you idiot) and my colleague queues up at stupid o'clock in the morning every year on the day they go on sale to secure one for her adult son. This is not a joke or an exaggeration. Apparently they're in great demand and you have to reserve them and everything, so she makes sure she gets down there first thing to get it as I remember her being livid one year when although she'd reserved one, the staff claimed they hadn't been sent enough to fulfil the reservation list so they missed out. She was convinced the staff had squirreled some away for themselves to sell on ebay or give to family, as if receiving a bunch of Greggs vouchers from a Greggs employee is any present at all.

My nan got me a massive advent calendar one year that was full of 'funsize' chocolate bars. It was a big rectangular thing and seems massive in my head because I could barely hold it between my arms but that's my only frame of reference, but obviously my arm span has gotten much larger than it was when I was 28.

JamesTC

Quote from: jobotic on November 19, 2020, 10:50:16 PM
I can reveal the outcome

BO JO HO HO


I'd love to be wrong

Genuinely thought you were painting Johnson as Jabba the Hutt there.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: jobotic on November 19, 2020, 10:50:16 PM
I can reveal the outcome

BO JO HO HO


I'd love to be wrong

T&T meeting slides were leaked - thank god it wasn't the S^GE meeting or eyes would have pointed firmly in the only non-S^GE member's direction.

SpiderChrist

Quote from: Big Mclargehuge on November 19, 2020, 11:25:00 AM
Personally; one of the biggest things I've HATED about Christmas in the past is the obliged fun.

Yup. Christmas Day at my Mum's, Boxing Day at my brother's - lots of fun. Good food and booze at Mum's, good weed and good food at Bro's. Everything else? Nah mate.

"Come on SpiderChrist, cheer up, it's Christmas!"


idunnosomename

Get christmas done. Just get it done!

George Oscar Bluth II

Quote from: jobotic on November 19, 2020, 04:12:52 PM
Rational? No chance love.

Gotta have those BO HO HO headlines with Johnson in a cartoon Santa hat giving out death presents

Gotta say, given the reaction even from level headed friends to very mild "hmm, this Christmas relaxation might not be a good idea" opinions in the group chats over the last few days this woman is extremely brave to say this stuff in public.

This will be my first Christmas without seeing my parents or any relatives. It's fine, given my age, and we're going to my better half's mum's for Saviour's Day.

Head Gardener


bgmnts

So football fans are going to be back in stadiums in a limited capacity and christmas is going to be a free for all.


Lots of dead cunts by january. Whoop!

JamesTC

This is all part of an insidious plan. They want as many people dead as possible in order to customers for Only Fools and Hearses.

JamesTC

Quote from: Blue Jam on November 14, 2020, 08:30:53 PM
Saw this advertised in the window of Subway today. CHRISTMAS DESO:

https://www.subway.com/en-GB/MenuNutrition/Menu/Product?ProductId=9244&MenuCategoryId=756

Just had one of these as they have a two Subs for one offer on the app.

It was okay. Wouldn't get it again as it wasn't that big a sausage but it tasted okay. Hard to have a bad sub for me as I ask them to cram as much of the veggies as possible on it.

Can't wait to gather round the dinner table on Christmas day for a big plate of Rishi Burgers, they really do look after us.

Bernice

Vaccination on the horizon, the expeditious rollout of which could see us, broadly speaking, out of the worst of it by Spring (as long as we have a functional, non-overwhelmed health service) so what do we do? Have a Christmas fucking free for all, cram every cunt on Christmas eve trains, scatter them to every corner of the four nations, get diabetic great aunts snogging ketamine-ravaged undergrad covidbois under the mistletoe, grandad sneezes on a turkey fucking RESULT.

I like Christmas and this seems utterly fucking mental.

Captain Z

Prediction: Restrictions will still be necessary next Christmas.

gib

Quote from: Bernice on November 24, 2020, 08:05:37 PM
Vaccination on the horizon, the expeditious rollout of which could see us, broadly speaking, out of the worst of it by Spring (as long as we have a functional, non-overwhelmed health service) so what do we do? Have a Christmas fucking free for all, cram every cunt on Christmas eve trains, scatter them to every corner of the four nations, get diabetic great aunts snogging ketamine-ravaged undergrad covidbois under the mistletoe, grandad sneezes on a turkey fucking RESULT.

I like Christmas and this seems utterly fucking mental.

agree it's a nonsensical shitshow but isn't this what every country* is doing

*every country that celebrates xmas


BlodwynPig

Quote from: Captain Z on November 24, 2020, 10:18:00 PM
Prediction: Restrictions will still be necessary next Christmas.

Starmer soars to victory with slogan "keep calm and carry on" with D:ream reforming to turn it into an anthem of the beige

gib

Quote from: Captain Z on November 24, 2020, 10:18:00 PM
Prediction: Restrictions will still be necessary next Christmas.

Prediction: it'll be a new version and called covid20.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: gib on November 24, 2020, 10:26:10 PM
Prediction: it'll be a new version and called covid20.

<<<<<<<

idunnosomename

i'd like a big festival where we all piss on a tory

bgmnts

The Pissing of the Mogg.

JamesTC

Quote from: idunnosomename on November 24, 2020, 11:26:58 PM
i'd like a big festival where we all piss on a tory

Sadly they got your memo mixed up. They are instead doing a big festival with a Tory pissing on everybody else. It is called Christmas ahhhhhh

non capisco

Currently drafting in my head the best way to tell my folks I really don't think it's a good idea if I come over for Christmas this year, despite what the rules now are. What if I come down from germy old London for one day with an asymptomatic case and end up mullering the pair of them, literally just before all the people in their age range get vaccinated in January? Cheers, government, a-fucking-gain.

Jollity

Quote from: bgmnts on November 24, 2020, 01:37:14 PM
So football fans are going to be back in stadiums in a limited capacity and christmas is going to be a free for all.


Lots of dead cunts by january. Whoop!

As a tiresome pedant, I feel obliged to say that it's not precisely a free for all. Not literally

QuoteUp to three households will be able to meet up during a five-day Christmas period of 23 to 27 December, leaders of the four UK nations have agreed.

People can mix in homes, places of worship and outdoor spaces, and travel restrictions will also be eased.

But a formed "Christmas bubble" must be "exclusive" and would not be able to visit pubs or restaurants together.

So presumably the idea is that the virus will leave people alone if there aren't so many people there? Or something? I don't know.

Marner and Me

Quote from: bgmnts on November 24, 2020, 01:37:14 PM
So football fans are going to be back in stadiums in a limited capacity and christmas is going to be a free for all.


Lots of dead cunts by january. Whoop!
If it worries you that much, don't go.

bgmnts

Imagine not wanting lots of vulnerable people to die like lol

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Marner and Me on November 24, 2020, 11:55:53 PM
If it worries you that much, don't go.

I hope you go and get pushed into a tumble dryer by some Fresians.