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March 28, 2024, 03:49:36 PM

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Gramps

Started by dekionplexis, February 26, 2004, 10:48:10 PM

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dekionplexis

CUE: Ryuichi Sakamoto - Furyo

Mia: Hi, grampa, it's me.
G: What the fuck do you want?
Mia: Eh, nothing really, just came to see how you're doin'...
G: Well, as you can see, I'm DOING fine, so now you can fuck off!
Mia: Oh come on, don't be like that.
G: Be like what, here I was, happily watching 'Songs Of Praise' and rubbing me cock, when you show up,...don't you have boys you should be sucking?
Mia: GRAMPA!!! I'm only twelve...
G: Eh? Fuck sake, in my day, you'd already be up the gut with ya eightenth sprog, kids today, fucking wankers...
Mia: Would you mind putting THAT away grampa...
G: It's MY cock, I'll do with it what I like, why don't you fuck off???
Mia: I can't...
G: Why not...
Mia: Mum told me I had to come visit...
G: WHAT THE FUCK FOR!!!
Mia: Well, she says, that ever since Nan died, that you're, you know, lonely...
G: ...Fuck sake, lonely! Lonely am I??? Since the old cunt died, I've never had so much pussy in me life, I got em queing up to get a suck on this, urghhhh..
Mia: Grampa, please don't waggle that at me....
G: Well then, fuck off!
Mia: I can't...
G: Fuck-kin 'ell, why not!!!
Mia: Well, mum told me, that maybe, you know, we could, you know...
G: What?
Mia: Make love...
G: THAT DIRTY CUNT!!!
Mia: She says it would be good for me...she says I'm ready...
G: What the fuck is the world coming too...hold on love, let me call that fucking cow....hold on...
Mia: OK....

CUE: Salt N Pepa - None Of Your Business

G: Sarah....
S: Oh, hello dad, how's tricks?
G: What the fuck's this about you wantin' Mia and me to have a fuck?
S: Ooooh, that, well, you know, she IS at that age...
G: Look Sarah, if she weren't me grand-daughter I'd be up 'er arse right now, but there are certain lines even I won't cross...
S: Oh go on, you might like it...
G: I KNOW I'd fuckin like it, you dense bitch, it's fucking INCEST!
S: So? It never stopped you fucking me...
G: ..Well,..that was different....
S: How?
G: Well, you had it coming....
S: ......You got me there Dad, tee-hee,....oh go on, break 'er in for us...
G: Fuck sake Sarah, I shook it at the little cunt, and she nearly spewed, how the fuck she gonna take it up the arse?
S: I dunno!!!! Knock her out, drug her, use threats, I dunno, improvise..jee-sus..
G:....Fucking bitch hung up....oh well...

CUE: Robert Palmer - Simply Irresistable

G: Right Mia, come 'ere...
Mia: Yes?...OW!!!! What was that for?
G: Oh shit, sorry love, I was trying to knock you out...
Mia: Why?
G: So I could bum-rape you OF COURSE?
Mia: I thought you we weren't going to, you know...
G: Weeeeeellllllllll, your mother convinced me othewrwise, now, strip...
Mia: No.
G: I'll fucking deck you!!!
Mia: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU OLD CUNT!!!
G: Hahhahahaha, you said 'cunt'...
Mia: Yeah, so?
G: Does it make you feel all dirty, ehhhhhhh?
Mia: No. I want to go home now...
G: I wouldn't do that love...
Mia: Why not? I WANT TO GO HOME! Don't come near me!
G: ......ahhhhh, fuck sake, you're hard work, do you know that...ah,...shit, come on love, don't cry...
Mia: I wa-want....to go hoooome!
G: Look, Mia, if you go back home without having been fucked raw, do you have any idea what your mother will do?
Mia: ...no....
G:...Naaa, me neither, but let me assure you, once she's finished with you, you'll never ride a bike again...oh, bloody hell, hang on, I'll get you some tissues...jee-sus christ...

CUE: Dr Dre - Stranded On Death Row

G: Here, there, better?
Mia: Yes.
G: Here, sit down, we'll work this out, ok?
Mia: Ok,....you won't hurt me?
G: No Mia, of course not, here let's sit down, you want to watch MTV?
Mia: O-Ok,....
G: There, a pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying, there,....there...all better..
Mia: Yes. Thank you...
G: That's ok Mia, you want a sweet?
Mia: Ok.
G: Ok, one sec,....
Mia: Ok.
G: Here you go....
Mia: What are those?
G: They're sweets, they're special,...they're special ones...try one...
Mia: o...k...
G: Go on...
Mia: 'gulp'
G: HAHAHAHAHAAAHhhhhhhhaaaa, fuck sake...

CUE: Shaggy - It Wasn't Me

Vermschneid Mehearties

And yet if that'd been the old lady in The Catherine Tate Show, I might've just laughed. Strange w0rld.

Dusty Gozongas

Gratuitous and funny.  You don't see that every day.

Mister Six

fuck cock cunt fuck cock cunt

Hello! I'm Dekionplexis!