Celebrities still doing things in places.

[ElTwopo]

Linda Robson buys a can without a label from eBay to try and get that spark back.

EDIT: more for the desolation thing, I guess.

Hang on, I'll try again:

Linda Robson buys a can without a label from eBay to try and get that spark back. In Woking or somewhere. Wherever she lives I guess!

[Glebe]

The Jolly Green Giant punks the people of Sheffield by sneaking out during the night and leaving a giant, polystyrene piece of sweetcorn outside a Tesco there. "Ho ho ho - Green Giant!"

Terrance Trent D'arby uses Photoshop to make an image of himself look like he has a really big penis. Then he prints out loads of the images and sticks them up around Chelsea.

Mick Jones shoves apricots through a neighbour's letterbox in protest at said neighbour accusing his son of scrumping.

'Black Velvet' singer Alannah Miles builds a small fortress out of Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles near Southampton.

Neil Warnock opens a skateboard shop called 'Gnarly' in Warwickshire.

Björk glides into Bristol on a paraglider.

[Glebe]

Dev Patel sues Kellogg's after receiving a paper cut from a cornflakes box. He's at home in his kitchen when this happens.

Jared Leto dresses up as Barney the dinosaur for Halloween, and goes around Chicago asking for "yum-yums".

'I Think We're Alone Now' singer Tiffany sets up a marijuana plantation in Nebraska.

Ellen DeGeneres blows up an animal rescue centre in California.

[Pink Gregory]

King Buzzo opens a tin of peanutes in a car park in Neath to be met with a springy snake.

Hank Marvin enjoys the company of a civil engineer within the tasteful tudor stylings of a converted barn in Amersham.

[Glebe]

Geri Halliwell stabs a starfish with a plastic spade out of frustration during a break in Bogner.

Bob Dylan cycles to Pendleton to buy some stationary.

Eddie Redmayne drives through King's Lynn throwing walnuts to hungry squirrels.

Goran Ivanišević chases a wild stoat around a valley in Switzerland for three hours.

[Lord Mandrake]

Ving Rhames displays his abstract art at a Hungerford cab rank. Sat - Tues £6.99 men only.

[dissolute ocelot]

Tilda Swinton persuades a chip shop in Fochabers to deep fry a lychee. It tastes beautiful and they add it to the menu but nobody ever orders it again.

[Glebe]

Sammy Hagar enjoys a Tesco steak bake with two cans of Tennent's whilst watching Britain's Got Talent in his getaway maisonette in Lerwick.

C.J. de Mooi criticizes grouse for conducting themselves in an unseemly manner in a field in Gloucester.

Arabella Weir notices a gremlin when putting out the bins at her mansion in Cleethorpes.

Jessica Simpson kaboings a dolphin off the roof of a Kmart in Wyoming.

[Glebe]

Bob Nudd takes a stroll around Runcorn, stopping only to enjoy a crumbling Curly Wurly.

The year is 1900, and Nikola Tesla is in Prague, applying electricity to a bored donkey "for a big science experiment".

Debbie Gibson hoards caterpillars inside a yacht moored off the San Francisco Bay Area.

Linda Robson sings 'Jungle Boogie' at her niece's 30th in Weymouth.

[batwings]

Dressed as a schoolboy, 80s DJ Gary Davies varnishes a conker on the patio of his Berkshire cottage.

[Glebe]

Maya Rudolph fires a ground-to-air missile across the Hudson River at Donald Trump in a little helicopter.

Derren Brown commemorates late Duty Free star Keith Barron by creating a floral display in the shape of Barron's face in Marbella.

Lionel Messi draws an impressive Buzby from the old British Telecom ads in biro on the back of Jordi Cruyff's new special notebook that his gran bought him in a field in Suffolk while they are bunking off, I dunno, 'football school'.

Singer Kelis shoves a load of McCain Oven Chips into a bin liner and throws them at homeless shelter in Fife.

[Glebe]

Ray Mears buys 100 Wall's Feasts from a passing ice cream van and scoffs the lot atop the Chilterns.

Ruby Wax shoves Roland Rat into an industrial mincer in a meat processing plant in Chelmsford.

Sandra Bernhard does a cracking DJ session in an abandoned warehouse in Tulsa. Hundreds attend, including Matthew Lillard, Mike Diamond and Craig David.

DJ Shadow bumps into Boris Johnson in a used record shop in Purley and calls him, "a fat, mop-headed sack of yesterday's cheese leavings."

[Jittlebags]

Dave Cameron still wanking in his shepherd's hut.

[Fr.Bigley]

Bruce Willis gets into a scrap with a traveller in a B&Q car park near Ashton-under-lyne over a bottle of calor gas.

Andrew Lloyd Webber is seen crying at the Tate Modern after a young lad tells him he looks like the Weeping Woman by Picasso.

David Gilmour is mocking a Busker at Victoria station and goes to put a 50 pound note in his hat before quickly retracting it and calling the poor lad a "stupid cunt".

The ghost of James Brown is robbing a post office in Barnsley but inexplicably dressed as an English civil war cavalier.

[Glebe]

Andi Peters tosses a carton of hamsters into a copse near Islington. When questioned about his actions by a passing police officer, Peters admits that it was "just something to do."

[Glebe]

John Cleese careens around Weston-Super-Mare in a specially-converted shopping trolley.

Paula Abdul bakes some baps and floats them down the Cuyahoga River in Ohio. "Good journey, my baked treats!"

Mark Stacey of Bargain Hunt/Flog It!/Antiques Road Trip etc. fame adjusts his glasses and carefully examines a rudimentary vole in some field in his native Glamorgan.

Larry David curls up in a ball and rolls around Miami, screaming, "DEATH TO ALL INFIDELS!"

[dex]

Maxi Jazz ram-raids his local Nisa in his Sierra Cosworth. The mangled mess of the collapsable security post is later tagged "Faithless"

[Glebe]

Billy Crystal explores the nooks and crannies of Chichester Cathedral on a hoverboard.

Fred Savage lobs a coconut at Scott Baio in a marketplace in downtown Los Angeles.

The year is 1978, and Beryl Reid is causing havoc in Soho dressed in a leather jacket with 'Charged GBH' painted on the back.

Bill Oddie teaches a chaffinch how to masticate a piece of beef beneath an overhang in Yarmouth.

[DistressedArea]

The Emperor Hadrien and his wife Maureen compare pressure washers in the High Wycombe branch of Halfords. They might go to pizza hut later.

The demon Pazuzu pays for parking on level 3 of the NCP in Norwich town centre. His phone rings, it's his Mum. He doesn't answer.

[Glebe]

Ringo Starr removes his arse in Hammersmith and leaves it to simmer for awhile.

[batwings]

Alan Moore, naked, bunny hops across the Long Man of Wilmington.

[DistressedArea]

Absolute Radio DJ Andy Bush struggles to decipher a rune in the Orbital Shopping Centre, Swindon.
The rune foretells the coming of a great decay.
'Yes, I am a great DJ', he chuckles to himself.

[Glebe]

Tig Notaro builts a robot out of old electrical items at home and commands it to take over Chicago.

Jake Gyllenhaal is conflicted about his choice of a Crunchie for lunch break whilst perusing a confectionary counter in a corner shop in Glasgow.

Gavin Esler decapitates a donkey in High Wycombe and leaves the head under Michael Grade's duvet.

Nicola Sturgeon re-enacts scenes from classic Marx Brothers films with various members of her cabinet to entertain a fed-up ostrich near John o' Groats.

[DistressedArea]

Len Goodman, defending his honour, in the Octagon.

[Glebe]

Dick Cavett orders a bag of deep-fried onion rings in a grotty takeaway in the Wirral.

Jennifer Aniston is in Preston, asking a lamppost for directions to the local hairdressers.

Graham Norton shoves Paul Hollywood into some oncoming traffic in Birmingham.

John Giles kicks a golf ball can through a bloke's plate glass window in Dublin for a laugh. "1-0, still got it."

[batwings]

Just want to belatedly say that you've done a lot of cracking posts in the last while batwings."

Sorry Glebe, only just saw this but thanks! Back on topic:

Pat Sharp buys a Sharp microwave from the Dixons in Kettering, the association going unnoticed by the young sales assistant, even with Pat rubbing his forefinger over the name on his credit card and subtly nodding his head towards the microwave box on the counter.

Her from the Hitman and Her kneels on the crazy paving in the back garden of her Sussex house as she sifts through an owl pellet with a pen knife.

David Van Day has a flash back to the early 2000s when heating up a Rustler's quarterpounder in a Brighton petrol station minimart microwave.

[Glebe]

Her from the Hitman and Her kneels on the crazy paving in the back garden of her Sussex house as she sifts through an owl pellet with a pen knife.

Michaela Strachan (for it is she) then realizes, "What am I doing? I've got Pete Waterman and Kylie Minogue coming around for tea, and the house is as mess! I've got to switch out of The Really Wild Show mode and get that stew on!"

Felicity Kendal listens to the complete works of Aphex Twin on Spotify, then Whatsapp videos Peter Egan to explain her fascination with electronica. Peter is busy doing the rose bushes in the garden, but pops the kettle on and sits on a pile of bricks, pretending to enjoy the one-sided chat.

Morgan Freeman phones Christopher Nolan in the middle of the night to ask if he's "doing any more Batmans. 'Cos I was almost #metoo'd there awhile back and I want people to remember I am great and cool, Chris."

Dennis Waterman frisbees his signed Cornershop album out the window in frustration and immediately regrets it. "Gonna have to go into the fens and recover that, all mud on it it's ruined."

[Glebe]

Kim Cattrall performs a backflip for some penguins at London Zoo.

Jonathan Pie steals an aardvark from an animal shelter in Hove and punts it across Westminster Bridge.

Bryan Adams learns how to play the sitar and records an album of Ravi Shankar covers, all in the space of a week in Winnipeg.

Dolly Parton massacres a load of wallabies during a trip to Perth.

[Glebe]

Barry Cryer tells an anecdote about Eric Morecambe to a row of egrets on the Riviera.

Jason Statham does an incredible tap dance routine in front of the Taj Mahal.

Grimes creates a new sound using dustbins in Limerick.

Eric Idle expands the mind of a gnome beside Stockport.

[Glebe]

Jamie Oliver sacrifices the family pets in his back garden in a bid to sate the wrath of what he refers to as the "dinner fairies", who will apparently ruin his cooking if he does not accede to their whims. "You need help, Jamie," suggests Mrs. Ada Oliver.

Kay Burley deliberately rams her car into a group of schoolchildren at a bus stop in Sturridge, in a bid to create some exciting news.

Brian Wilson makes a giant sandcastle out of melted Oreos and stands atop it screaming, "I'M THE KING OF THE OREOS!" on a beach in Malibu.

John McEnroe goes into a sports shop in Durham and smashes all the tennis rackets whilst screaming at the top of his lungs, "just for old times' sake. Send me the bill man, I'm loaded."