Author Topic: Disney: Desolation  (Read 290 times)

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Disney: Desolation
« on: September 15, 2020, 03:51:41 AM »
A week after the awful incident with Cruella de Vil, the family decide they can't afford to keep the 101 dalmations and have 99 of them euthanised.

Quasimodo is deemed fit for work.

Just as she exhales her final breath, Ursula realises she has the body of Ariel, but her vision was clouded by body dysphoria.

The villagers are proved right after The Beast's name turns up in Jeffrey Epstein's little black book.

Princess Jasmine sues for divorce after discovering blue cumstains on the magic carpet.

When Exxon build a pipeline through Simba's jungle, he is called a pussy and they demand to have Scar back.

Hercules's labours are called into question following a failed dope test.

King Louie finally obtains the secret of man's red fire and is very soon after charged with arson and insurance fraud.

As Wendy, John and Michael jump out of the window to their deaths, they discover that while fairy dust can make you fly, LSD can not.

After another row over the cutlery, Prince Charming slips Sleeping Beauty a couple of benzos for a bit of peace and quiet.

Huey, Dewey and Louie are reunited at Christmas in a three bird roast.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2020, 03:57:37 AM »
In the thousand years that it takes Buzz Lightyear's plastic to degrade, he only loses consciousness around the 910 year mark.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2020, 04:22:31 AM »
The seven dwarves turn nasty when an eighth member is introduced: Girth.

Up 2: Parkinsons and the long, faltering journey to Dignitas.

Tarzan, in his mansion, watching with schadenfreude as the forest fires engulf his erstwhile friends.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2020, 04:24:57 AM »
Geppetto inquires relentlessly about Pinocchio's masturbation habits in order to provide enough lumber to make it through an especially harsh winter.


Rizla

  • That's not another knife - THIS is another knife!
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2020, 04:25:45 AM »
Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Polio

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2020, 01:32:38 PM »
The tertiary antagonist Sir Hiss enacts draconian legislation leading to the destitution and penury of thousands.

madhair60

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2020, 01:36:25 PM »

rack and peanut

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2020, 03:31:15 PM »
Robin Hood and Little John, running through the forest burned to the ground by a gender reveal party.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2020, 08:54:38 PM »
Quasimodo is deemed fit for work.

Brilliant

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2020, 09:16:59 PM »
A CGI Bea Arthur has a light sabre fight / musical number with a sixty year old Daisy Ridley in Star Wars: More Of This Fucking Shit (2052)

An animated series based on the adventures of James Cordon’s prolapsed anus gets green lit.



rue the polywhirl

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2020, 09:24:17 PM »
In Bambi, everything gets consumed by a flesh eating virus. And then a nuclear holocaust occurs... and then Bambi’s mum get shot.

Absorb the anus burn

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2020, 09:38:59 PM »
On a deep sea casting couch the Little Mermaid secures the role with a fin-job for Uncle Walt.

rue the polywhirl

  • eight lives left
Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2020, 10:00:51 PM »
Mushu is struggling to come to terms with being left out of the Mulan remake and has slid into the grips of severe alcoholism and heroin addiction. In the 90s he was the Dragon. Nowadays he is merely chasing it.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #13 on: September 16, 2020, 10:09:55 PM »
After their acquisition of Comcast, Viacom, Warner and Sony, the only film available to buy on physical media and fully uncut and unaltered is Inspector Gadget 2.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Disney: Desolation
« Reply #14 on: September 16, 2020, 11:14:22 PM »
Quote
The seven dwarves turn nasty when an eighth member is introduced: Girth.

I like this one

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