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March 29, 2024, 02:05:10 PM

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Disney: Desolation

Started by pancreas, September 15, 2020, 03:51:41 AM

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pancreas

A week after the awful incident with Cruella de Vil, the family decide they can't afford to keep the 101 dalmations and have 99 of them euthanised.

Quasimodo is deemed fit for work.

Just as she exhales her final breath, Ursula realises she has the body of Ariel, but her vision was clouded by body dysphoria.

The villagers are proved right after The Beast's name turns up in Jeffrey Epstein's little black book.

Princess Jasmine sues for divorce after discovering blue cumstains on the magic carpet.

When Exxon build a pipeline through Simba's jungle, he is called a pussy and they demand to have Scar back.

Hercules's labours are called into question following a failed dope test.

King Louie finally obtains the secret of man's red fire and is very soon after charged with arson and insurance fraud.

As Wendy, John and Michael jump out of the window to their deaths, they discover that while fairy dust can make you fly, LSD can not.

After another row over the cutlery, Prince Charming slips Sleeping Beauty a couple of benzos for a bit of peace and quiet.

Huey, Dewey and Louie are reunited at Christmas in a three bird roast.

pancreas

In the thousand years that it takes Buzz Lightyear's plastic to degrade, he only loses consciousness around the 910 year mark.

pancreas

The seven dwarves turn nasty when an eighth member is introduced: Girth.

Up 2: Parkinsons and the long, faltering journey to Dignitas.

Tarzan, in his mansion, watching with schadenfreude as the forest fires engulf his erstwhile friends.

pancreas

Geppetto inquires relentlessly about Pinocchio's masturbation habits in order to provide enough lumber to make it through an especially harsh winter.


Rizla

Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Polio

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The tertiary antagonist Sir Hiss enacts draconian legislation leading to the destitution and penury of thousands.


rack and peanut

Robin Hood and Little John, running through the forest burned to the ground by a gender reveal party.

Ferris


batwings

A CGI Bea Arthur has a light sabre fight / musical number with a sixty year old Daisy Ridley in Star Wars: More Of This Fucking Shit (2052)

An animated series based on the adventures of James Cordon's prolapsed anus gets green lit.



rue the polywhirl

In Bambi, everything gets consumed by a flesh eating virus. And then a nuclear holocaust occurs... and then Bambi's mum get shot.

Absorb the anus burn

On a deep sea casting couch the Little Mermaid secures the role with a fin-job for Uncle Walt.

rue the polywhirl

Mushu is struggling to come to terms with being left out of the Mulan remake and has slid into the grips of severe alcoholism and heroin addiction. In the 90s he was the Dragon. Nowadays he is merely chasing it.

Shit Good Nose

After their acquisition of Comcast, Viacom, Warner and Sony, the only film available to buy on physical media and fully uncut and unaltered is Inspector Gadget 2.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteThe seven dwarves turn nasty when an eighth member is introduced: Girth.

I like this one